please help recently separated

ycats · 04-17-2011, 12:11 AM

I hope that I can some how fix my marriage. I met my wife in June 2008 on the internet. We live here in Texas. I love her more than anything. We have a child together, a baby girl who is 17 months old now. Living here in the US is new to me I got here in mid Jan. With in a few weeks my wife became pregnant, get my documents took time, I had to wait till they arrived befor I could start looking for a job and also get my drivers licence, you have to be able to drive in order to work as its remote out here. The pressure was building up as money was running out. Unintentionally I verbally abused her, we started arguing over silly things, now we are not living together but i have started working and now have a job. I guess its going to take time if we do get back together. I joined a christian church who have helped me a great deal get back on my feet. I also go for counceling once a week to help the problem but thats costs a lot of money. I have come here in the hope I can resolve my problems with my wife as I want to do the right things to gain her trust. No matter what I have to do I am prepared to do what ever it takes to fix this.

Happilymarriedwife · 04-17-2011, 12:22 AM

First I want you to know that I will pray for you and your wife. I'm glad you have joined a church and go to counseling. I think it's just going to take some time for your wife to see the changes you've made. Don't be pushy with her or desperate. Nothing is more of a turn off than a desperate man. Even if you feel like begging or pleading, don't do it. Work on getting your life together and improving yourself. Do nice things for her but don't be overbearing. Be cordial and happy everytime you see her. If she sees the fun loving happy person you are she will be attracted to that. If you stalk her or plead with her, or become demanding, you will just chase her away. Also pray and then leave it in Gods hands while you work on you. That's what I did in my marriage and we are happier now then ever.

ycats · 04-17-2011, 01:16 AM

Thanks or posting kind words, I feel much better after reading your thoughts. I have come to the realisation that if things are going to work for us I have to maintain a positive mind set, its reajusting to a new Country and culture. Actually being here and making the transition is nothing like I thought. For the most part she has brought the baby up with out my being here, she is very independant and since we never got to know each other like most couples do its almost like geting to know each other from the start.

ycats · 04-17-2011, 01:24 AM

I forgot to mention that my Wife lost the baby 2 weeks ago she was 12 weeks pregnant. I feel responsible for this but instead of thinking about were I went wrong I am focusing on were I can go right every day is becoming more and more positive. I am just going to take each day as it comes.

DelinquentGurl · 04-17-2011, 06:27 PM

I am very sorry for the loss of your child. I have had a miscarriage also and I know how hard that can be. If you can, please be there for her as a support but DO NOT bring up the state of your marriage. Your wife is devastated right now and needs to grieve and doesn't need the added pressure of dealing with marital problems.

I commend you for going to counseling. Keep going for you, not for your wife. Regardless of the outcome you need to work on you.

You made a mistake, you owned up to it, and now it's up to you to do something about it.
Posted via Mobile Device