05-02-2011, 09:31 AM
Join Date: Apr 2011
| | Should I file for divorce to protect my daughter and myself?
I'm in it, emtionally, better or worse, sickness and health..however, reality is depression, anxiety and irrational behavior, while waiting for meds to work is creating so much stress with constant threats of divorce from husband. He is currently living outside of home, getting his own place for "short term" recovery of a few months. He goes from me not being allowed in house when he is here with daughter to calling me and telling me if I want to come home just stay on another floor. One day I can't talk to him, the next day I can. No text messages, but then he texts...says he's not divorcing me, I believe he doesn't want to, but he did a free phone consult with attorney to make sure he wouldn't have issues moving out and future visitation with daughter. In my state it always seems whoever files first gets the upper hand in a divorce. I don't want a divorce but would it be worth it to cash in a small amount of my retirement money for a good attorney just to have advice and a retainer so I can move ASAP if someone talks him into filing. Does anyone know if I should file just to protect my rights? Has anyone been in this position? Honestly, as of now, if there aren't major improvement over the next year I don't see our marriage surviving and it's not fair to our child. Especially since we were in counseling for 3 years prior to his "episodes" starting which now I realize the marriage problems were all symptomatic of this mental distress. When taking his meds routinely I see the old husband, sweet, normal problems, but when he's late or doesn't take them as prescribed, he's nasty and mean and I fear he would have no problem starting a divorce. He's already sold me out to my mother, someone I don't like and has her own issues, by revealing all sorts of personal business from debt to him "being afraid of me" but I have tried to not say anything to anyone we know about him except that he's having some anxiety issues and trying to find meds that help him. Even if we do divorce there isn't a rule that says we can't still be together but I don't want to send him over the edge in such a sensitive time, as per his psychiatrist instructions he needs to be dealt with kid gloves, no stress, etc...but the psychiatrist is driving a Lexus while I drive a middle class SUV.. meaning I don't have the financial resources if he files and I'm a beat behind...it's easy to advise someone to be gentle but the reality is very different when you live in fear of losing your ability to maintain finances, etc. I worked part time and lost my job and am looking actively for another but he makes far more than I ever will and is very believable when he's slandering me. HELP please..these past months have been hell for my daughter and myself..