Artificial Insemination - Page 2 - Talk About Marriage
Physical & Mental Health Issues Marriage and relationships are difficult by themselves, but coping with physical or mental health problems can make things even more difficult.

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post #16 of 27 (permalink) Old 03-12-2015, 06:37 PM
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Re: Artificial Insemination

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He wasn't worried until the communication and will probably lay this to rest even if he doesn't find any definitive answer. But, for a second, imagine his state during those days before receiving the DNA report (female solidarity may be many TAMers' knee-jerk reaction, but imagine just for a second). He says the interesting thing he learned while taking care of the kid every single day and waiting for the report, clouded in uncertainty, was that he decided that even if he was not the father, he would never tell the kid and would continue to raise him. They are very close and it's not an easily broken bond.
He is still with this woman?

I agree, the words you posted that he overheard sound odd. But he obviously got her pregnant.

Something for him to consider about what she said. She said that he is using condoms. If a woman really wants to get pregnant condoms will not do much to prevent it. Just poking holes in his condoms would work.

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post #17 of 27 (permalink) Old 03-13-2015, 11:00 AM Thread Starter
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Re: Artificial Insemination

EleGirl, yes, they're together, so it boils down to an issue of trust going forward.
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post #18 of 27 (permalink) Old 03-13-2015, 02:08 PM
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Re: Artificial Insemination

Yes it would be an issue of trust going forward.

He heard a small part of one side of a conversation. It could be very easy to misunderstand what was said.

If he does not want to another children, he is responsible to make sure that it does not happen. Vasectomies work very well.

What I'm getting here is that he and she are not communicating very well. It sounds like she wants another children and he does not.

So in that case he needs to tell her very clearly that there will be no more children with her. He also needs to take reasonability to ensure that. Vasectomies work very well. Condoms not so much. They are 98% effective as birth control. He is very likely to impregnate her sooner or later using condoms.

He needs to be upfront with her. Then if she wants more children, she can leave and find someone who wants more children. Or she can comes to terms with his choice.
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post #19 of 27 (permalink) Old 03-13-2015, 02:19 PM Thread Starter
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Re: Artificial Insemination

Oh, it's a source of many a discussion in that household. Timing is the issue; as most women she is concerned about the "ticking clock". A vasectomy would not be a suitable solution. I guess he needs to accept the risk or tell her what he knows and that he doesn't want to be a pawn.
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post #20 of 27 (permalink) Old 03-13-2015, 03:26 PM
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Re: Artificial Insemination

I agree. He needs to tell her what he overhead and his concerns. Not doing to gives her no chance to fix this if he misinterpreted what he heard. And the issue of baby or not baby is a huge wedge between the. It will turn into the grand canyon if not addressed. Best to address it before it splits them apart completely.
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post #21 of 27 (permalink) Old 03-13-2015, 03:33 PM Thread Starter
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Re: Artificial Insemination

There aren't many ways to misinterpret "I'm considering going as far as doing the same thing as last time". So it may be a difficult conversation asking to come clean and to forgive and reconcile.
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post #22 of 27 (permalink) Old 03-13-2015, 03:57 PM
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Re: Artificial Insemination

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There aren't many ways to misinterpret "I'm considering going as far as doing the same thing as last time". So it may be a difficult conversation asking to come clean and to forgive and reconcile.
That is a very different quote from what you posted earlier:
"like last time"


He needs to ask her what she did last time. See what she says.
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post #23 of 27 (permalink) Old 03-13-2015, 10:55 PM
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Re: Artificial Insemination

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All along he thought that it was pre-ejaculate that did the trick...
That is possible, by the way.

Having said that, the intercepted comms would seem to indicate that the wife/girlfriend took specific action (apart from having sex, that is) geared toward becoming pregnant w/ the guy's child.

It sounds like she wanted a kid and he wasn't ready, so she did something to make it happen anyway. Now she wants another, but he's using condoms now... so she's looking for a new playbook.

If I were him, I'd demand an explanation.

AND I'd stop having sex w/ her.

Virginia: "Why can't you kids leave well enough alone? Everything was fine until you started digging around."

Burt: "You sound like a Scooby Doo villain."
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post #24 of 27 (permalink) Old 03-13-2015, 11:00 PM
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Re: Artificial Insemination

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It occurred with his consent. He was with her, he came. Actually, per-ejeculatory fluid around the entrance to the vagina can do it. Withdrawal is not an effective means of birth control and if preventing birth was important to him, he would have educated himself.

Perhaps she could have taken his ejaculate off her belly with her hand and put it in the area of her vagina. But there are no guarantees that would work any more that guaranteeing withdrawal works to prevent pregnancy.

Perhaps a vasectomy is in order now.
Eh... I'd have been 100% on board w/ ^this^ if it weren't clear that she did something (again, other than having sex) geared specifically toward becoming pregnant.

Perhaps they'd previously been using both BC and PW, and she simply stopped taking the BC?

Virginia: "Why can't you kids leave well enough alone? Everything was fine until you started digging around."

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post #25 of 27 (permalink) Old 03-17-2015, 11:11 AM
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Re: Artificial Insemination

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The only vaginal intercourse they had in the course of a couple of months was weeks earlier than the doctor's calculated conception date (while the birth date was almost spot-on). There was also no inside ejaculation, and withdrawal was their "contraception" method for 3 years up to that point.
First and foremost, the conception date is only a guesstimate, as is the due date(time for birth). They make a guess based on her last period and the size of the growing embryo. I know the guess for my son was off by a couple weeks. It's not uncommon.

Secondly, the withdrawal method is not a reliable form of birth control. Pre-ejaculation can get a woman pregnant and even if he did 'successfully' pull out, she can still get pregnant from ejaculatory fluids on or just outside the vaginal opening.

He got her pregnant and needs to let all of this go. If he does not want to get her pregnant, then he needs to use a better form of birth control.

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post #26 of 27 (permalink) Old 03-18-2015, 08:51 AM Thread Starter
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Re: Artificial Insemination

Anonymous07, thanks for not reading the follow-up posts.
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post #27 of 27 (permalink) Old 02-14-2017, 02:26 PM
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Re: Artificial Insemination

Uhhh, no. Emphatically, Hell No! For artificial insemination, all you need is a turkey baster. The woman monitors her cycle, when it shows that she is ovulating, (her vaginal temperature will increase, sore breasts, being hornie), then she uses the baster and fills it with sperm. She can or could have collected it over a course of time and kept it cool, below -6 degrees F. Let the fluid warm up, take the "shot" and nine months later, ta da! Lesbians do it all the time. They get some male to donate and then the two of them have a warm bath, plenty of love, and one uses the turkey baster on the other, and motherhood. You do not need fertility shots. Those are given for other fertility issues. Make sure the turkey baster is clean, but no soap residue.
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