i guess i'm depressed
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Physical & Mental Health Issues Marriage and relationships are difficult by themselves, but coping with physical or mental health problems can make things even more difficult.

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Old 10-10-2008, 03:09 PM   #1 (permalink)
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Default i guess i'm depressed

i've been fighting this feeling for a few days. but i think my eyes got opened yesterday or today. my counselor gave me some homework. it is easy, or difficult. list 3-5 things daily that i am thankful for. i can't make the list without including my wife.

we are separated, and this tells me i can't be happy without her. i know our direction seems somewhat positive, as we are still semi-regularly seeing each other, but when the light seems dim at the end of the tunnel, i get really bummed. like today, the kids go back to her house and it just seems like such a crappy day.

she called this morning and told me she passed the entrance exam for nursing school, and i am so excited for her, but feel a little left behind.

i AM happy for her and expressed that to her, but we have been there for each other in every endeavor in life. this one feels alone, and a little sad.

why the f isn't she just filing for divorce?
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Last edited by voivod; 10-10-2008 at 03:29 PM.
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Old 10-10-2008, 04:21 PM   #2 (permalink)
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Default Re: i guess i'm depressed

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Originally Posted by voivod View Post
i've been fighting this feeling for a few days. but i think my eyes got opened yesterday or today. my counselor gave me some homework. it is easy, or difficult. list 3-5 things daily that i am thankful for. i can't make the list without including my wife.

we are separated, and this tells me i can't be happy without her. i know our direction seems somewhat positive, as we are still semi-regularly seeing each other, but when the light seems dim at the end of the tunnel, i get really bummed. like today, the kids go back to her house and it just seems like such a crappy day.

she called this morning and told me she passed the entrance exam for nursing school, and i am so excited for her, but feel a little left behind.

i AM happy for her and expressed that to her, but we have been there for each other in every endeavor in life. this one feels alone, and a little sad.

why the f isn't she just filing for divorce?
I don't think she is going to. But I have told you that. I think she needs time to know you are going to stay as you are so she can trust you again.

You really need to get more independence though. Have you ever though of what using her as a crutch must do to her. Maybe emotional exhaution(sp).

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Old 10-10-2008, 06:06 PM   #3 (permalink)
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Default Re: i guess i'm depressed

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I don't think she is going to. But I have told you that. I think she needs time to know you are going to stay as you are so she can trust you again.

You really need to get more independence though. Have you ever though of what using her as a crutch must do to her. Maybe emotional exhaution(sp).

draconis
i don't really think she is either. in fact i told my new counselor that yesterday.

i promise you, since the separation, i've never given her a reason to think i was "crutching" her. unless it's in my aura!
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Old 10-10-2008, 07:57 PM   #4 (permalink)
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Default Re: i guess i'm depressed

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she called this morning and told me she passed the entrance exam for nursing school, and i am so excited for her, but feel a little left behind.
Ahh Voivod that is sad. Kind of bitter sweet.
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Old 10-10-2008, 08:54 PM   #5 (permalink)
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Default Re: i guess i'm depressed

Originally Posted by voivod
she called this morning and told me she passed the entrance exam for nursing school, and i am so excited for her, but feel a little left behind.

Even without you there she called you to let you know, to share it with you.

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Old 10-11-2008, 12:17 AM   #6 (permalink)
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Default Re: i guess i'm depressed

draconis--
i praise you for your insight with others, i never do when you show me...good take on the situation, my friend. thank you!
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Old 10-11-2008, 12:29 AM   #7 (permalink)
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You are welcome, I am always here for you.

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Old 10-13-2008, 12:06 AM   #8 (permalink)
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Default Re: i guess i'm depressed

I don't know what the full reason is, but I believe that everything happens for a reason and we're exactly where we're supposed to be.

I say this in the most sincere and caring way. Maybe life is just telling you to wake up and reignite the passion in your marrage again. Step up as a man, and take her back like you own her heart and soul. Make her feel like she's the most important person in the world.

Create new magic moments where it will make her heart melt and give her some variety, but let her know you're gonna be there no matter what. That you will love her like she has never been loved before. She will test you to see if you're gonna be there strong as a man, or if you're going to run away like a coward. Hold your ground and love her no matter what. Be honest and truthful about how you really feel about her, and what she means to you. Don't BS her cause she's going to know it.
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Old 10-13-2008, 12:14 AM   #9 (permalink)
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Default Re: i guess i'm depressed

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I don't know what the full reason is, but I believe that everything happens for a reason and we're exactly where we're supposed to be.

I say this in the most sincere and caring way. Maybe life is just telling you to wake up and reignite the passion in your marrage again. Step up as a man, and take her back like you own her heart and soul. Make her feel like she's the most important person in the world.

Create new magic moments where it will make her heart melt and give her some variety, but let her know you're gonna be there no matter what. That you will love her like she has never been loved before. She will test you to see if you're gonna be there strong as a man, or if you're going to run away like a coward. Hold your ground and love her no matter what. Be honest and truthful about how you really feel about her, and what she means to you. Don't BS her cause she's going to know it.
ya, she knows my bs, she really does...i think she's figuring this out: that i'm gonna try and i ain't giving up. she's really showing a softening of the heart the last two days. today/tonight was really a highlight.
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