My husband claims to have no responsibility of my son threw another relationship

angela · 10-15-2008, 10:52 AM

I haven't been married very long and now all of a sudden my husband brings up to me that he has no responsibility for my son that I had from a prior relationship. This hurt of course because I was under the impression that when he married me that he was taking my son under his wing as I do. The concept of what's mine is your's and what's your's is mine hasn't set in for him. He tells me that it's your son, he's your responsibility. It's my bowl and nobody can use it but me. I bought the meat and it's mine you can't have any of it.
What makes this difficult for starters is that when he comes home from work what, food I purchased from the store with the money that I came into the marriage with, I proceed to cook him dinner with it. Why is it that I can share my buyings but he's greedy and I can't have any of his. I just moved into a new town that I'm not familiar with and I haven't had time to find a job quite yet. My anxiety that I'm treating with medication is getting out of control at this point because as soon as I don't have a dime to my name I'm afriad my own husband won't support me. I'm still trying to get a job but that takes time somtimes. I'm scared and I just want to disapear. I want to go home but home is where the heart is and right now I don't know where my heart is. I'm about to seek a counsolor in this area but bad things could happen before I can even make it there. I need moral support. Thanks to anyone that has any advice for my army husband and myself.

draconis · 10-15-2008, 10:55 AM

Get out, once you and your son are broke he has complete control over you. This is a form of abuse and the first step is to make you depend on him.

Further if you have kids than you should come as a package deal.

draconis

Honey · 10-15-2008, 05:21 PM

He took you, he took your son too. What a jerk !

Did you ever change your son's last name to your husband's last name? If so, he can say he is your son until he is blue in the face, if you leave the jerk, he will still have to take care of him until he is 18.

bzyshopinbee · 10-16-2008, 09:38 PM

Has he ever takin responsibility of your son? If so, would there be a reason why he wouldn't want to anymore? With a legitament (sp?) excuse, Im wondering if maybe your son has shown disrespect or maybe your son is not willing to accept him into his life...and that's why he feels like he's ONLY your responsibility? How old is your son?

Sorry about all of the questions, just trying to get a better understanding of the situation.

GAsoccerman · 10-17-2008, 02:41 AM

I agree witht he above posters....get out.

my dad died when I was 1, my mom re-married when I was 14.

Our family (mom, 3 sisters and brother) we shared everything, everything was group effort, there was othing off limits, our neighbors, my friends could walk right into our house no problem.

After the amrriage, none of my friends were allowed in the house, our food was "labelled", he got rid of my dog.

As drac said a for of abuse, I was the youngest, my older siblings all moved out. I was stuck there. I became depressed, sucidal, etc, besides from moving to a new town, any friends I did gain bailed quickly, I felt like a stranger in my own home, I hated being home.

I am 38, my step father and I still hate each other. He made my life miserable in HS. Happiest day is when I moved out for good.

Divorce hima nd move on with your son, to bad you did not see this ahead of time. Plenty of good guys out thre that will help your son.

justean · 10-17-2008, 03:40 AM

i had a very emotional time after i left home. my dad really changed towards me, more a resentment and jealousy of what i achieved. we havent spoken for 9 yrs next feb and although i do think about him, i am glad i broke free also for the sake of my children.
your son is your primary concern here and your hubby is freeloading.
i dont know, but what you could find here, is a worse situation because he isnt his father he might not ever make the connection and your son has to grown up in that environment .
look how he treats you and this is early days in your lifetime.

Honey · 10-17-2008, 11:07 AM

If I take someone with a child, that baby will be loved and cared for like if it was my own, because in my heart, it will be once I got married. Your husband is a jerk..to say it nicely.