The husband needs a break now. . . - Talk About Marriage
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post #1 of 4 (permalink) Old 06-10-2011, 11:18 AM Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: Los Angeles, CA
Posts: 33
Unhappy The husband needs a break now. . .

Alright so last night, the husband told me that he wants a divorce. I'm pregnant with our first son and got scared. I begged him to stay and eventually changed his mind to just a break, I would have to live at my moms, the kids (2) are back and forth while he is at his dads and he never said how long this was going to be. My son is due in September two days after his birthday. I don't know how I feel about this. I'm confused, scared, nervous, anxious, worried that it's over, and I feel worse knowing that divorce is something that he really wants, not the break. The break idea was something he probably agreed to because I'm pregnant and and didn't want me to worry the whole time. he says there is no one else. We live with his family that complains to him about everything at his house and all complaints go to him, by the time he gets to me if I say something as simple as i'm tired, I'm *****ing and complaining already and everything after that probably sounds like a complaint to him. Last night he also told me that I lost him five years ago before we got married, that made me feel great. he also said I don't turn him on anymore. I'm so hurt by these words, although it's not the first time I've heard similar words from him. The verbal abuse is something that I can't take anymore. he doesn't believe I can do anything. He complains that I have never done anything for him, but when I asked him what have you done for me, he said i've tried to do special things for you on some days.... and then didn't have anything else to say. He and I have been off and on of certain jobs because they are seasonal, part-time or because he gets fired. three times already, I've never been let go. We live at families rent free. my house, his house. Never our house. He says all of our problems are my fault. I'm always the one apologizing even when it's completely his fault.

How do you find the strength to let someone go when you are scared and vulnerable (especially at the beginning of your third trimester in pregnancy) when you know he can't stand to be around you anymore? How do you move on when you don't want to? It would hurt me to see with someone else, but I feel like i'm headed that way anyways.

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post #2 of 4 (permalink) Old 06-10-2011, 11:36 AM
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: Wisconsin
Posts: 475
Re: The husband needs a break now. . .

First of all, your H is being an a**hole. If he didn't have feelings for you before you got married, then why did he marry you?

He's trying to be hurtful and he should know better than to do this while you are pregnant!

You need to stop the begging and pleading because it's unattractive. Begging him to stay isn't the answer, because you'll always wonder if he'll do this again. I'm trying to say in a gentle way that you need to stop being a doormat.

Take this time to work on yourself and your self esteem and do not persue him.
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post #3 of 4 (permalink) Old 06-10-2011, 01:41 PM Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: Los Angeles, CA
Posts: 33
Re: The husband needs a break now. . .

Yup... I guess I don't have another choice at this point.
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post #4 of 4 (permalink) Old 06-10-2011, 02:28 PM
Join Date: Apr 2011
Posts: 937
Re: The husband needs a break now. . .

Sounds like fog talk. Do some research on his texting, email and phone calls. This didn't come out of the blue.
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