Feeling "stuck" in my marriage, please help
My wife is my best friend. Period. She was the only female friend I had that was close to me, and hence I asked her to marry me after about a yr and change of dating. However, since then I've been having doubts and feel terrible at times for making that decision. My wife is a beautiful woman, with a beautiful smile and character. However, we do not share the same culture, and I sometimes find myself missing parts of me that are now dormant due to the amount of time I spend with her. She is also a bit overweight, and this has been a problem between us. With that issue I have tried everything, from encouraging her to exercise with me, to eating right, to motivating her, and in the past I am ashamed to admit but out of frustration I said some things I should not have said (that was a few yrs ago). Since then I have done my best to fix my mistakes, by calling her beautiful, encouraging her and not talking about weight. She will say she will get on track, but then nothing happens. Week in week out, she works, comes home and thats it. She is also a few yrs older than I am, so I'm not sure if that has anything to do with it.
Fact is, I am not that physically attracted to her, or should I say I do not lust after her. The other day I was at this function and I was talking with this lady closer to my age who was in good shape and I found myself feeling attracted to her, and I felt terrible for feeling that way. Good things have happened in my life since I married my wife, but I feel this, I don't know, longing sometimes for a woman I would feel passion for that I can't explain. I love my wife dearly, never cheated, never even got another womans phone number. We have spoken a few times about just being friends but I feel terrible because I know that would break her heart as I know she loves me so much. So I suggested we try to work it out and see if we can create some sparks. My fear is there may be no sparks to create.
I don't know if I'm just being immature or if my issues are legit, but either way I sometimes feel stuck. I love my wife dearly and I want to remove this thing that causes this block in me towards her because she's worth it. I just don't want to waste her time if she's really meant to be with someone else. I love spending time with her, its just these issues that make me depressed sometimes. I want to do the right thing.