haveaheadache

Every time my husband and I have a fight I find myself getting more and more depressed. It gets worse with each fight I feel like I am in a black hole and just can't get out. To make matters worse the husband gets annoyed. He is so caught up in the fight that he can't see what is going on with me. I feel a little desperate at times to get away. How do I get out of this? How do I stop getting this way? I have never experienced this until recently.
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Sanity

I'm sorry to hear this. What your are experiencing is basically PTSD symptoms brought on by the continued exposure to stressful situations in your case the fights with your husband.

Regardless of who is at fault or the triggers a truce needs to happen between both of you even if its temporary. Depression is a serious condition that can lead to health problems down the road.

Talk to a counselor or somebody trained in depression. Try to occupy your time with positive things AND positive people. Sit down with husband and discuss in a calm manner how the fights regardless of who's right is affecting the marriage which ultimately is what matters. Too many marriages fail because one or both partners insist that they are right instead of what is right.

Good luck and I hope things work out for you.

Disposition

i agree, if you're feeling depressed, then speaking to a professional could help. it's also important to keep talking to each other, and if things start to go south, then take a quick break to calm down. you can't avoid issues, it will only make you feel worse, and if you only mention them during fights, it gets harder to resolve. sometimes you have to try different tactics to achieve different results. good luck to you!
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