So lost and lonely depressed
I have been widowed for 4 years. Before my husband passed away from pancreatic cancer I was a succesful manager at a big corporation, very succesful and so was he. He got very sick on a Friday became jaundiced and Monday was given the verdict that he had a tumor on his pancreas. He was not fond of hospitals and we knew it was terminal. The company I worked for was very supportive and let me take all my sick time and then I went to disability. I took that 1 1/2 years to be with my husband. It was so hard. He did go for chemo, got the whipple. I had help from my son who is a paramedic to follow closely his sugar levels, give him his medicine. I have a daughter who is an RN, she was instrumental in getting him to have the whipple as she knew a surgeon otherwise his doctor refused. She has had a self medicating problem and substance abuse she has strugggled with since a misdiagnosis with her Chrones. I have 2 older boys who are married with 2 children, then the 1 daughter and younger son who is 25. The youngest after their dad passed away caused me alot of stress, I enabled them, the daughter was doing drugs and the son was not working. There is more but I need to go. Bottom line the 2 older sons resent me they won't hardly give me time with their children and will not speak to the other 2 siblings because I spent alot of money trying to help. Both have moved out now for close to a year but there is drama. I am so heartbroken and depressed, never thought I would be at this place. There is more but I must go my daughter's daughter who is my grandaughter is here so I need to go. She does not have custody of her daughter, the father has a vicious lawyer, she is on assistance but doing well so far as no more drugs, he is not following court order to let her see her child.