Silent screams
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Physical & Mental Health Issues Marriage and relationships are difficult by themselves, but coping with physical or mental health problems can make things even more difficult.

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Old 09-21-2011, 12:37 PM   #1 (permalink)
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Unhappy Silent screams

Very new to this site but like many others I have been reading other post. Cant find one to describe my situation so here is my story: I met my "THOUGHT 2B" husband almost 3yrs ago. things for us moved very fast after 3mos of dating we (my daughter from previous relationship) moved in together less than 1mo we became pregnant. After bringing our baby home he ask me to become his wife gives me the ring. During The 1st yr we had alot of communication problems! He doesnt like to be open about his feelings with me he holds his feeling in. most of the time im the 1 to start conversation, if he is not wanting to talk he will not respond. drives me insane! Ok so let me just try to shorten this some. my problems and concerns with him our family. He has days where he makes me feel like he doesnt care about me or his children (he has taken on father role to my daughter she is 5 last time she seen her bio dad she was 2 his choice). He doesnt screm or yell when we argue he shuts down he has gone days with out talking to me. Im unemployed right now but full time student. He works maybe 30hrs a week even though he is gone alot more than that sometimes. We go out as a family maybe 1 time a month. My car is broken so all we have is his car.If he doesnt want to take us out then we stay at home. Which happens alot!!When he is ready to make things "right" then he will give me attention.I am at my ends with this I fight so hard to have a normal relationship with him, I dont know how much longer I can go on. When its good its good but when its bad its real ****bad. I have no 1 to talk 2 my mother past last yr, my father isnt stable. Everyday I cry and im stressed with wanting to be happy, Im uncomfortable being around him when he doesnt talk because I dont know what to say anymore. I want him to show me he wants to be a family he says he wants us for the rest of his life but his actions doesnt say that at all. Not sure if any1 can help but all advice is welcome. Yes I have so much more info about our relationship but that would take pgs! Thank you all for helping!!
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Old 09-21-2011, 01:03 PM   #2 (permalink)
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Default Re: Silent screams

What has he said when you have sat down with him and told him how this all makes you feel?

Maybe he comes from a family where nothing was discussed. I'm not saying thats a good thing, BUT might help explain why he acts that way. Poor coping/communication skills is something people really need to learn if they are going to have a shot at having a decent relationship.
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Old 09-22-2011, 10:44 AM   #3 (permalink)
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Default Re: Silent screams

Your story sounds VERY similar to mine in some ways..mostly the communication part. My husband as well just shuts down and if I try to talk he will ignore me or put me down and make me feel like I overreact. I too have noone to talk to(my family is a bunch of gossipers) and on top of that he has alienated me from most of them because he loves to fight with everyone. I am trying to find ways to stay strong on my own of sort my feeling and decide what to do at this point as well, but i wish you so much luck in your relationship.
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Old 09-28-2011, 08:44 PM   #4 (permalink)
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[QUOTE=trey69;430870]What has he said when you have sat down with him and told him how this all makes you feel?

Maybe he comes from a family where nothing was discussed. I'm not saying thats a good thing, BUT might help explain why he acts that way. Poor coping/communication skills is something people really need to learn if they are going to have a shot at having a decent relationship.[/QU ok example me babe i wan2 talk to u about how things r goin between us him silent me ru listenin him say what u need 2 ur grown me speak my feelings him ok! THATS ALL I GET FROM TRYIN 2 TALK ABOUT OUR ISSUES. HE GREW UP SINGLE MOTHER. MYSELF BEIN AROUND HIS FAMILY 4 3 YRS I SEE HE IS THE ONLY 1 THAT HIDES HIS EMOTIONS HIS MOTHER TOLD ME B4 IDK WHY HE ACTS LIKE THAT BUT HE DIDNT GET IT FROM ME. I FEEL LIKE IM FIGHTIN A NO WIN SITUATION
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Old 09-29-2011, 12:00 PM   #5 (permalink)
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Default Re: Silent screams

You know, it sounds like a case of possible depression due to poor economical circumstances and his/your misunderstanding of his role as a new father.
We have one 2-1/2 year old, and my W had been displeased with my actions. We had been going thru tough economic times as well and I felt it was my #1 priority to assure that we kept the bills paid and a roof over our heads. I work full time and on top of that bought/fixed/sold items on craigslist to keep us afloat. No vacations no relaxing weekends just work work work, and with a crushed disc and 2 herniated ones in my lower back, poor sleep on top of everything else.
We have a newer home that still needs alot of trimmings, I got a lot of flak for the lack of those "trimmings", no money for them, and my "ignorance" as a father, when in fact I was looking at the bigger picture and doing my best to keep us in our home.
My W didn't, and still doesn't understand that.
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Old 09-29-2011, 04:53 PM   #6 (permalink)
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Default Re: Silent screams

YES that would be great if his #1 was makin sure our bills are gettin paid..BUT thats not it bc a bill was not paid this past mo. He is gone almost ALL day 6 days a wk and yet cant keep that bill paid.
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