So does his treatment work for people with heavy doses of traits that fall into the realms of PDs.... I would guess less often.....
Tag, I would guess not at all
. When a person has strong traits of BPD, his emotional development is frozen at the level of a 3- or 4-year-old. This means he is unable to do self soothing, manage his own emotions, avoid black-white thinking, or intellectually challenge his intense feelings instead of accepting them as self-evident "facts."
You are essentially asking, then, whether that book can teach YOU how to have a successful marriage with a person having the emotional development of a young child and who is incapable of trusting and has a fragile, weak sense of identity. You already know the answer to that all too well.
Many of the traits he finds in troubled couples resemble PD traits.
I agree. We all have the same basic set of human ego defenses (i.e., coping strategies) to work with. This is why we all exhibit BPD and NPD behavioral traits to some degree. And this is why PDs are called "spectrum disorders" and their traits are said to lie on a continuum. It is common for even healthy individuals to exhibit temporary flareups of these traits when under great stress or abusing drugs.
The most common cause of a flareup, however, is a strong hormone change -- e.g., puberty, pregnancy, extreme PMS, postpartum, or perimenopause. Because most of those hormone changes affect women, they tend to exhibit more temporary BPD flareups than men. The lifetime incidence of persistent full-blown BPD, however, is the same for both genders (i.e., about 6%).