Re: Finally seeking help!
I must say it's very awesome that you have noticed this and want to be a more positive person, that's great !!
Your purpose in life is open to your own interpretations and that is something you must decide for yourself. Everyone is kinda unique this way.
I'll share that I believe my purpose in life is to be the best person I can be. That means learning, growing, finding inner peace, having good self esteem, resolving past issues, developing skills to cope with stress.
And the big one... I only control me, but that includes how I react to everything else. The good old "Golden Rule".
In other words... life is a challenge. Figure out how to solve life's problems, in a way that doesn't hurt anyone else.
And as far as "what do people think of me?". I try to remember that what someone else thinks of me, is none of my business. I answer to a higher power for my behavior.
You can only look forward. And forgive yourself for whatever you may have done in the past, learn from it, and put your best foot forward. Next time, you will have the skills to react better. That's what counts.