coping with male infertility - Page 4 - Talk About Marriage
Physical & Mental Health Issues Marriage and relationships are difficult by themselves, but coping with physical or mental health problems can make things even more difficult.

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post #46 of 59 (permalink) Old 06-06-2016, 01:03 AM
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Re: coping with male infertility

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Originally Posted by larry.gray View Post
You beat me to the question.

It matters, doesn't it?
It might, to some women. But a lot it would go away if you were the carrier.

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post #47 of 59 (permalink) Old 06-06-2016, 01:04 AM
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Re: coping with male infertility

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I can see how that would make a difference.

Still, I think that women -- again, generally speaking -- are far more accepting of this than men.
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post #48 of 59 (permalink) Old 06-06-2016, 01:18 AM
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Re: coping with male infertility

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I wasn't impugning your wife's honor, I was pointing out that when it's your kid, you don't count the cost, but if it was not your biological kid, you were looking at the financial cost of it all.
Cost did weigh in on when I had children.

I'm in that range where it matters. I make enough that I don't get to take much in the way of deductions, etc. for my kids. Ironically if I earned less it would be less impacted by the kids' costs, and if I earned more it wouldn't be a problem.
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post #49 of 59 (permalink) Old 06-06-2016, 06:28 AM Thread Starter
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Re: coping with male infertility

Yeah, I know nothing about ivf... Ivf is flawless and perfect and you can have a half unicorn baby if you please... Ivf takes a sperm and egg and combines them. Poof, voila, a baby is born from a dish. Here's some news for you, it still needs a healthy human ennvironment to carry to term which we are unsure if we have, and the costs are too risky for us to go down that road. We're already over a few thousand in over the past couple years trying to have children the old fashioned way with a little help. Unless insurance companies start paying for this, it's a bit out of our price range. If you want to come here and insult me, please refrain. I am in no mood. I have decided with my wife to wait until Friday night, her last day of teaching to inform her of the doctors news. This has been a rough journey for us. I will be picking up that book, I need something to read while I'm stuck home recovering.
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post #50 of 59 (permalink) Old 06-06-2016, 06:52 AM Thread Starter
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Re: coping with male infertility

Wow, didn't realize how much talk was going on while I was sleeping. My last response was to someone saying ivf is a perfect process. Now I am caught up on all 4 pages.

For me, I am the last of my family branch in the tree. Our blood dies with me. I want to see it go one more generation. I dated many women before I was married, one had a child. I saw what step kids did to some of my friends... I decided I couldn't deal with that "you're not my father" back talk. Or the false accusations they put on step dad to get him in trouble, one was locked up because the kid was mad stepdad wouldn't buy him a game so said he was being touched inappropriately. Took my buddy 2 years to get that straightened out because of the type of accusation and during that time lost his job since he was a teacher. Yes, that marriage is long ended. If it comes down to it we would adopt a baby. So many children in this world that need a home. Not before ruling out our ability to have our own child.
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post #51 of 59 (permalink) Old 06-06-2016, 08:35 AM
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Re: coping with male infertility

Sorry you are going through this. Tell your wife right away so you can focus on getting the next step. If you want to adopt then start working on that to get your minds busy and focused on more positive things.
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post #52 of 59 (permalink) Old 06-06-2016, 08:47 AM
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Re: coping with male infertility

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You don't know a lot about IVF, do you?
It would seem I know a lot more than you, though.

My advice is correct. OP should save his emotion for therapy, and go for IVF. Parenthood is expensive anyways, he's just got to pay more up front.
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post #53 of 59 (permalink) Old 06-06-2016, 08:57 AM
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Re: coping with male infertility

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It would seem I know a lot more than you, though.

My advice is correct. OP should save his emotion for therapy, and go for IVF. Parenthood is expensive anyways, he's just got to pay more up front.
LOL. You really don't.

Virginia: "Why can't you kids leave well enough alone? Everything was fine until you started digging around."

Burt: "You sound like a Scooby Doo villain."
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post #54 of 59 (permalink) Old 06-06-2016, 09:01 AM
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Re: coping with male infertility

OK, Gus, you're the boss.

Your experience is valid for you. It is not at all scientific nor should it be generalized onto others.

Advice is best when we can use our experience as just that: Our experience. When we assume expertise we look foolish..you know, like John Candy.
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post #55 of 59 (permalink) Old 06-06-2016, 10:33 AM Thread Starter
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Re: coping with male infertility

Gus, don't feed into unicus, they are a troll. It's obvious they have not been through nor understand the struggle. They come off as a certified doctor from teen mom television.

Happilymarried25, we have to wait 3 months for the healing and effects of the surgery to take place before the next sample is analyzed. That's why I'm not rushing to tell her. My wife gets very emotional. I don't want this to screw up putting in final graded and ending this school year with her students. She is so hopeful and I don't want to take that away from her today and let it ruin the last 4 days with the kids. Bad enough it will fester in her mind all summer until I get retested in september. They doctor (a real doctor, not unicus) said that if we can get the count up to 6 million we can do some procedure which is just below ivf and our insurance covers. It's a long shot but we shall see. I have to get the count up first.
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post #56 of 59 (permalink) Old 06-06-2016, 10:52 AM
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Re: coping with male infertility

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Originally Posted by hankthetank81 View Post
Gus, don't feed into unicus, they are a troll. It's obvious they have not been through nor understand the struggle. They come off as a certified doctor from teen mom television.
No worries, sir.

This ain't my first thread.


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Virginia: "Why can't you kids leave well enough alone? Everything was fine until you started digging around."

Burt: "You sound like a Scooby Doo villain."
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post #57 of 59 (permalink) Old 06-06-2016, 01:23 PM
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Re: coping with male infertility

Get as healthy as you possible can right now. Look up how to increase your fertility and start doing these things pronto. Tell your wife. And tell her what the plan is. There is still reason for you to be optimistic. Both of you need to get as healthy as possible or to increase your chances. Then have lots of sex, be healthy and start learning about your options. Don't waste anymore time.
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post #58 of 59 (permalink) Old 06-10-2016, 12:41 PM
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Re: coping with male infertility

Just pray and have faith. The doctor told my husband that he was not going to be able to have children to, but now we have a beautiful healthy 8 month old little girl. Pray changes things.

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post #59 of 59 (permalink) Old 06-10-2016, 12:42 PM
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Re: coping with male infertility

I ment prayer changes things

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