coping with male infertility
So my wife and I are having fertility issues. We are trying to conceive without ivf. So after about 6 or 7 visits and multiple tests on my wife, I had to take a semen sample.
So first results, about 1million. Now they say average male is around 30 million. I was a premature baby and at the age of 5 had to undergo surgery for an undescended testicle. The doctor said most likely that testicle is not functional hence why it never dropped. So with 15 million, I would still be ok. I was at 1 million. My second sample, under 1 million. Practically shooting blanks. Low progression. Bad news for me. Off to the urologist I go.
So dropping my pants on the first date is uncommon but the urologist insisted, where he discovered a varicocele in my left testicle, which is a high cause of infertility. So we set a date for surgery, he also cut off a growth and did biopsy of said growth as well as my testicle.
I'm still not back to work, the steristrips are coming off now, I'm still a little sore but I'm getting around pretty good. The doctor called. Procedure went well. The growth was not cancerous. The testicle... well, is not healthy and most likely surgery will not change the outcome I went in for.
I'm devastated. Not only did I go through all this, missing almost a month from work, only to find out it may have been worthless? My wife is almost done teaching for the school year. I don't want to tell her now. Part of me wants to wait until after the retest in 3 months. The other part says to tell her after she finishes the school year.
I had the most incredible father. He was my best friend. He died when I was 18. I miss him to no end. I've been ready to be a father for a few years now, and unfortunately I'm unsure if I will ever get to be a father. If I could be half the man he was, my children will be so blessed. My wife wants to be a mother in the worst way now that she's in her mid 30s. I feel like I am robbing us both of our dreams. This really sucks.
So am I wrong on waiting to tell my wife to avoid giving her 3 months of something more to worry about? I feel if I tell her, it's only going to upset her and she has too much going on to take on this information right now.