Anti depressants - Talk About Marriage
Physical & Mental Health Issues Marriage and relationships are difficult by themselves, but coping with physical or mental health problems can make things even more difficult.

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post #1 of 27 (permalink) Old 06-17-2016, 07:08 AM Thread Starter
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Anti depressants

My husband and I suspect that I may be suffering from depression. I will be seeing my doctor on Monday to discuss it.

I am scared. I am not against medication but very weary to start down this path. Do any of you have experience or advice you could share?

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post #2 of 27 (permalink) Old 06-17-2016, 08:28 AM
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Re: Anti depressants

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My husband and I suspect that I may be suffering from depression. I will be seeing my doctor on Monday to discuss it.

I am scared. I am not against medication but very weary to start down this path. Do any of you have experience or advice you could share?
Don't be scared. The anti-depressant, anti-anxiety (they are related) meds are very safe and have been around for decades. Stick with the generics, not the latest new expensive brand name ones that just came out for which doctor has free samples and that you see on TV.

They take time to take effect. You will not feel the effects on Tuesday.

You must NOT stop taking the meds without first consulting your doctor. For some you will need to slowly reduce before stopping. This is important. But do not fear starting the meds. You can safely get off them if you want, just do it the RIGHT way.

Most important, some meds will affect your libido or desire to have sex. Discuss this with your doctor.

Even more important than sex (yes, more important) is to make sure you discuss any other health symptoms with the doctor for two reasons. 1) Your mood may be the result of an underlying unknown health issue. 2) Certain ailments, like liver or kidney disease, prohibit you from taking certain ant-depressants. Your doctor needs to know your full health story. Hopefully you had a recent full physical and bloodwork.

The meds correct a chemical imbalance. If you are truly depressed, the meds can make you feel better. Much better.

The meds are generally safe, but keep track of any side effects and tell your doctor. This is very rare though.

Discuss starting with a lower dosage at first, give that a try and if not up the dosage. Review that with your doctor. NEVER take more or more often than you doctor recommended and knows about. If you start taking more than the prescription was written for, your will need to get a new prescription from your doctor or your insurance (if you have) may not cover.

For example, if you take one pill per day and get a Rx for 30 pills, you will have a one month supply. If you then take 2 a day per your doctor, you will run out after 15 days and the insurance won't refill yet. A new Rx from the doctor with the correct dosage will be needed.

Another thing to discuss is that the pills come in various strengths. For example, a 50 mg pill and a 100 mg pill. To you they look the same, same size, but the 100 mg will have more the active ingredient in it. It might be less expensive, if you do not have insurance, to have the doctor prescribe the 100 mg pill that you can cut in half, if you are willing to do it.

Bottom line, discuss your dosage with doctor, what to do if he/she changes the dosage after a few weeks, and if you have insurance or not. Many drug stores like CVS, Walgreens, Walmart sell the anti-D generics for as low as $4 for 30 days or $10 for 90 days.

Good luck. You are taking the right steps.

ETA: I just read the first three posts in your other thread. I did not read all 180 posts. If your "depression" is related to your lack of attraction to H, these meds might not help you. Again if this problem is related to sex with husband, Anti-D can definitely affect the sex drive. Discuss this with doctor. And I would suggest having your H accompany you on your visit to the doctor. This is a JOINT problem since IMO he is probably contributing to the problem. It is not just all you. If H thinks that you will just get a pill and all your and HIS problems will go away, that isn't the way it works.

Last edited by 225985; 07-26-2016 at 01:04 PM.
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post #3 of 27 (permalink) Old 06-17-2016, 08:53 AM
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Re: Anti depressants

My wife is on a very low dose of prozac, and has been since 2006. She was at a higher dose, and initially went on them when our dynamic sucked. I am sure that had a part to play, but she also was a victim of CSA, as well as the entire paternal side of her family struggling with it.

I would follow the advice of your doctor and therapist, Patricia. It may just be temporary until you can work your way through the current problems you are having.

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Originally Posted by PatriciaLee View Post
My husband and I suspect that I may be suffering from depression. I will be seeing my doctor on Monday to discuss it.

I am scared. I am not against medication but very weary to start down this path. Do any of you have experience or advice you could share?

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"Our ability to feel joy is directly related to how much pain we are willing to feel." - Mavash.

"The truth is, everyone is going to hurt you. You just got to find the ones worth suffering for." - Bob Marley
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post #4 of 27 (permalink) Old 06-17-2016, 09:14 AM
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Re: Anti depressants

i agree. don't be scared. unless you are among the 2-5% who have very bad reactions, you'll be fine.
even then, you just watch yourself very closely and keep close tabs with the dr.

my own story was that back in 2002 when my kid brother died, i went into a terrible depression.
i didn't want to live anymore. i went on prozac and it took the worst of the bad edge away. it took me about 6 weeks to feel better, and 9-10 months to get back to my old self.

again in 2006 i suffered depression from a failed relationship. again prozac. again about about 8-9 months.

the only thing i remember bad was that i had trouble sexually, not libido or getting hard, but coming.
also, my dream life went flat. there is always a trade off.

haven't needed it since, but thank God and the pharm industry for pills when you really need them.
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post #5 of 27 (permalink) Old 06-17-2016, 09:38 AM
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Anti depressants

There is nothing wrong with anti depressants at all. Sometimes you need a bit of help...
Definitely get some bloodwork done to make sure there isn't more going on like thyroid issues or b12 which can affect your mood as well as your energy level.

Follow blues advice hey blue I think that is the second time today lol @225985 his post gave you a lot of good info.



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post #6 of 27 (permalink) Old 06-17-2016, 02:56 PM Thread Starter
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Re: Anti depressants

@225985 You do not know how appreciative I am for you to take time to share all of your information.

I just recently had blood work done and all came back without a problem. I take a B12 supplement and I am a healthy weight (do anti depressants cause weight gain..because that would be tough for me).

The effect on my sex drive is very concerning since that is a huge problem in my relationship right now. I told my husband this and he seems to think me feeling better will fix the sex isssue.



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post #7 of 27 (permalink) Old 06-17-2016, 10:51 PM
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Re: Anti depressants

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Originally Posted by PatriciaLee View Post
@225985 You do not know how appreciative I am for you to take time to share all of your information.

I just recently had blood work done and all came back without a problem. I take a B12 supplement and I am a healthy weight (do anti depressants cause weight gain..because that would be tough for me).

The effect on my sex drive is very concerning since that is a huge problem in my relationship right now. I told my husband this and he seems to think me feeling better will fix the sex isssue.



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Have you considered seeing a naprapath? These guys and gals are very helpful as they take a holistic approach. You could also have your minerals out of balance, and via the use of vitamins and supplements not have to be on meds. For my PTSD my GP wanted me on SSRI's. I said no I will seek other options. Did some research on the web and found me a great naprapathic doctor

If you are going through hell keep on going-Winston Churchhill
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post #8 of 27 (permalink) Old 06-17-2016, 11:19 PM
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Re: Anti depressants

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I do not think OP will mind if you share what were the results. What did this "naprapathic" doctor do, prescribe etc.? And did it help?
He had me do a hair analysis for the purpose of the sting for mineral imbalance. I was toxic with copper and lead. Took vitamin b6 and zinc for six weeks to detox. My frame of mind improved dramatically.

If you are going through hell keep on going-Winston Churchhill
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post #9 of 27 (permalink) Old 06-18-2016, 12:16 AM
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Re: Anti depressants

Hopefully this will be the best thing that ever happened to you!

I am adopted but know some of my biological family and there is a lot of depression and other issues in the family.

Years ago I was put on prozac for PTSD symptoms after a couple bad car accidents. It was helpful but later I got divorced and figured my problems were gone so I stopped taking it.

Flash forward 25 years to menopause, I was miserable for a long time but just figured that's life, suck it up. But I finally went to a hormone specialist and OMG she changed my life.

She put me on bioidentical hormones like progesterone and estrogen, but also said she really thought I should get back on the prozac.

She explained some interesting things to me:

1. Serotonin (the brain chemical most AD's help with) actually is a hormone. As we age we lose it and men typically have twice as much of it as women - so women are often starting off at a deficit.

2. Depression/low serotonin runs in families. If you have relatives who were depressed, your odds of depression are high.

3. STRESS KILLS. I can't recant the whole thing, but basically, anxiety and depression cause you to not sleep well, not sleeping well means your body can't restore and repair, this is very hard on your heart and immune system. So if part of your concern is side effects, the side effects of having low serotonin are much worse for your long term health outlook that the side effects of taking an AD.

If you're worried about a "stigma" for taking an AD, just know that it's all chemistry. You are not mentally weak or emotionally inferior if you thrive better on ADs, you just don't have the optimal brain chemistry going on.

There are lots of things you can and should do for depression, like eat well and exercise, and meditate, etc. But girlfriend, I am telling you -- the help you get from those lifestyle changes is nothing compared to the feeling of calm and well being that will (hopefully) descend upon you with ADs.

I really did not realize how bad I was with anxiety until this Dr. put me back on the prozac. I could cry (if I didn't feel so sanguine, haha) thinking of the last 20 years of how stressed, frustrated, and
anxious I was and it was probably unnecessary. I think I would have made much better life choices if I was on an AD.

I does affect my libidio, but my H has a low drive so, while disappointing, it's not been an issue for our marriage.

I say GO FOR IT. It does not work for everyone but it works so well for me that I am always so hopeful that it will be the same for others.

Best of luck to you!


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Originally Posted by PatriciaLee View Post
My husband and I suspect that I may be suffering from depression. I will be seeing my doctor on Monday to discuss it.

I am scared. I am not against medication but very weary to start down this path. Do any of you have experience or advice you could share?

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post #10 of 27 (permalink) Old 06-18-2016, 12:21 AM
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Re: Anti depressants

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post #11 of 27 (permalink) Old 06-18-2016, 12:23 AM
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Re: Anti depressants

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ETA: I just read the first three posts in your other thread. I did not read all 180 posts. If your "depression" is related to your lack of attraction to H, these meds might not help you. Again if this problem is related to sex with husband, Anti-D can definitely affect the sex drive. Discuss this with doctor. And I would suggest having your H accompany you on your visit to the doctor. This is a JOINT problem since IMO he is probably contributing to the problem. It is not just all you. If H thinks that you will just get a pill and all your and HIS problems will go away, that isn't the way it works.
@PatriciaLee - this is a very good point 225985 makes here. I haven't read any of your other thread. But I will tell you that if you are having marital problems caused by a bad dynamic between you and your H, the ADs may still be very helpful.

In my case, when I was on them originally 25 years ago, I went from feeling frustrated and hysterical that I wasn't happy in my marriage and couldn't seem to get it right no matter how hard I tried, to having clarity of thought where I was able to look at the situation objectively and realize "Um... I married a selfish, alcoholic idiot and I am simply not willing to accept this any longer."

We got divorced. So - you could say prozac was not great for my marriage but it was definitely great for my life and my ability to take some control. I quit taking it when I got divorced and I really regret that now because I see relationship and career decisions I made that I think I would have done much better had I still been on the ADs.

I was always on a very low dose by the way, but it was very helpful to me.
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post #12 of 27 (permalink) Old 06-18-2016, 09:17 AM
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Re: Anti depressants

You may also consider reading some articles on diet and mental health. There is a direct correlation between the two. My age management physician who is an md works in conjunction with my naprapath they had me totally revamp my diet, and I got back into serious exercise which helped tremendously in reducing my stress and my anxiety decrease substantially.

If you are going through hell keep on going-Winston Churchhill
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post #13 of 27 (permalink) Old 06-18-2016, 12:07 PM
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Re: Anti depressants

I have taken a bunch of different ones over the last 30 years. Wellbutrin won't affect sex drive but the popular citalopram will. Effexor works but has difficult side effects. I am taking Viibryd right now and it has no side effects does not affect sex drive and works very well. It works for anxiety and depression. It's the miracle drug for me.

I think I'm afraid to be happy. Because whenever I get to happy, something bad always happens.
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post #14 of 27 (permalink) Old 06-18-2016, 12:40 PM
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Re: Anti depressants

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You may also consider reading some articles on diet and mental health. There is a direct correlation between the two. My age management physician who is an md works in conjunction with my naprapath they had me totally revamp my diet, and I got back into serious exercise which helped tremendously in reducing my stress and my anxiety decrease substantially.
Can I ask what kind of diet changes they had you make?

I read an excellent book called "The Prime" and in it the Dr. talks a lot about the gut-brain connection and how bacteria in our stomachs actually produce serotonin. Who knew? It talks a fair amount about the whole nervous system and how diet and digestion really affect depression and other brain things. https://www.amazon.com/Prime-Prepare...ords=the+prime
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post #15 of 27 (permalink) Old 06-18-2016, 01:52 PM
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Re: Anti depressants

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Can I ask what kind of diet changes they had you make?

I read an excellent book called "The Prime" and in it the Dr. talks a lot about the zgut-brain connection and how bacteria in our stomachs actually produce serotonin. Who knew? It talks a fair amount about the whole nervous system and how diet and digestion really affect depression and other brain things. https://www.amazon.com/Prime-Prepare...ords=the+prime
First and foremost do not eat processed foods. Stay out of the center of the supermarket. Eat organic if possible. I eat fruits, vegetables, and lean meats. I take high octane vitamins from Pharmanex, as well as fish oil and pumpkin seed oil daily. I chelate my blood via use of cilantro and tomato juice twice per week using a nutri bullet.

No soft drinks. No diet soft drinks due to aspartame. Aspartame was originally developed for rat poison. Your body converts to formaldehyde, and you know what that is used for.

If you are going through hell keep on going-Winston Churchhill
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