Should I marry her? - Talk About Marriage
Physical & Mental Health Issues Marriage and relationships are difficult by themselves, but coping with physical or mental health problems can make things even more difficult.

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post #1 of 7 (permalink) Old 08-16-2016, 10:26 AM Thread Starter
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Should I marry her?

Hello. I am 30 years old. Few months back, I began dating a girl. She is mentally and physically healthy and doing well, but I have had 2 episodes of nervous breakdown/ mania in the past. Last one was 4 years back. I am on meds.

Recently I found out that her aunt who happens to be my father's cousin sister as well (we are cousins to each other, second degree) has OCD.

What I want to know is, since Ive heard mental issues run within families, would marrying her increase the chance of my baby having mental issues? By how much percent, if at all? Should I go for her?

I am left devastated at the thought of this. PLease help.

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post #2 of 7 (permalink) Old 08-16-2016, 10:55 AM
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Re: Should I marry her?

This is a very difficult question to answer. Some forms of mental illness do run in families, but that doesn't mean that all family members will be mentally ill. Having a spouse with mental illness is extremely difficult.

Mental illness runs in my family, and the effects have ranged from mild compulsive behavior (me), to suicide and long term institutionalization.
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post #3 of 7 (permalink) Old 08-17-2016, 12:08 AM
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Re: Should I marry her?

You should ask this question of a psychiatrist who is familiar with the genetics of your condition.

But here is my family example:

Bipolar Disorder 1 is quoted as 10 to 25% heritable through having one first degree relative with the disorder, per medical literature. Bipolar Disorder 1 is a spectrum disease (like autism).

Bipolar Disorder runs in my mother's generation, she had it (1 of 2 siblings), in her father's generation (1 of 8 siblings). These 2 relatives had severe Bipolar Disorder, they were medicated and yet non-functional for most of their adult lives.

In the next generation (mine) (5 siblings) there is no bipolar disorder or other mental illness, all siblings are 50 years old and up. Nothing in any of our children either (all adults).

Go figure as to how the last two generations beat the odds.
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post #4 of 7 (permalink) Old 08-17-2016, 12:39 AM
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Re: Should I marry her?

2d Cousin marriage should not [in itself] be a problem with respect to children developing inheritable issues.

Be sure to upfront about your health issues to any prospective spouse.

This....This is the nub of the stick that pokes me in the eye when the light of day energizes my optic nerve....SunCMars.... The Allegory of the Cave--> On this, I did a '180' and stepped out.

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post #5 of 7 (permalink) Old 08-17-2016, 04:22 AM
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Re: Should I marry her?

Hi you will both need to go the GP and get a referral to a specialist in geneology to work out the odds of inherited illness.


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post #6 of 7 (permalink) Old 08-20-2016, 04:09 PM
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Re: Should I marry her?

Schedule an appointment with a geneic counselor. Even if you decide not to do any screening through blood samples, you'd still get a good idea of the possibilities of children inheriting mental illness.
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post #7 of 7 (permalink) Old 08-21-2016, 04:02 AM
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Re: Should I marry her?

You are a responsible future parent. It's great. I hope it works out for you and whoever you love.
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