Any ideas as to what may be wrong with my husband?
Recently my H and I have been going through some major problems. A few months ago I found out he was having an affair with an older woman (10 years older). During that time he was very hostile towards me. Very insulting and emotionally abusive. Called me every name in the book, threatened me with money issues and with taking the kids from me. Threw his affair in my face every chance he got. It was awful. He didn't move out right away and legally I couldn't just kick him out. It got to the point where I had to call the cops one night for verbal abuse and file a restraining order to get him to leave. He finally got the point and left, moved in with her for about a week before he had a total change of heart or mind, realized what a huge mistake he made and cried to come back. At the time, I had never seen him so broken down before, never even saw him cry before, let alone uncontrolled sobbing and throwing up sick. But I still said no. I told him he got her, that's what he wanted. We ended up talking some more and eventually I gave in and let him back with the condition that we go to counseling. We haven't had our first appointment yet because he can only go on Saturdays and they only have one Saturday a month. So in the mean time we have been in the throws of hysterical bonding, etc, trying our best to get along. During the time he was with her I started talking to a male friend who has been through a cheating spouse and divorce, and he was there for me so of course this made him jealous. So now he feels the need to check my phone everyday, but yet deletes texts on his phone that he doesn't want me to see. It's like he's trying to pin me with someone when he is the one who cheated. He isn't working too well with regaining trust back and every time we have a disagreement he turns it into a massive fight, with the insults being thrown again and the ring coming off and him saying he's done and wants to leave. Then 12-24 hours later he's back to normal and says we need the counseling. It's like a switch flips and I don't know who he is anyone. This last Friday was the most recent. I questioned a friend of his that is a female who I knew about (they've been friends for 7 years and she is married) but he feels the need to delete their texts so I questioned her and she was very nice about it, and was confused as to why the texts were deleted since they weren't anything special. Anyway, he was fuming because I messaged her about it. Yelling in my face, complete rage like I've never seen before. Then on Saturday he's fine. I don't get it. He lies to people a lot too. I'm about at the end of my rope here. The cheating was enough to have to get over but him blowing up and wanting to leave every time we argue and then acting like nothing happened has thrown me for a loop. I'm at a loss.