I have a type A personality so I tend to overthink things (I view life like a game of chess where each potential move has a series of possible consequences and I tend to think about those). Instead of worrying excessively I think about potential problems and their solutions and make sure that I have everything in place should something unfortunate happen. For example, when I first started my job I was worried about whether it was permanent, so I got integrated in an essential way and made sure to get along with my boss. When I was concerned about what would happen to my kids stability should I have an untimely demise I went out and hired an estate attorney to make sure that everything was in place for my kids to be taken care of. When I was married I was very committed to being a great husband so that I could try to prevent a bad relationship (this failed but not due to things on my end). I understand that not every problem is predictable, but I do my best to live a good life and take reasonable steps to help things go the way I'd prefer.
What specifically do you worry about and is there some action you can take to conquer your concerns?
I very much relate to this post... this is how I THINK.. I wonder if it's a temperament thing.. I know I am a strong J
for judging, explained here :
J = Judging Characteristics
Plan many of the details in advance before moving into action.
Focus on task-related action; complete meaningful segments before moving on.
Work best and avoid stress when able to keep ahead of deadlines.
Naturally use targets, dates and standard routines to manage life.
A Judging (J) style approaches the outside world WITH A PLAN and is oriented towards organizing one's surroundings, being prepared, making decisions and reaching closure and completion.
I take my worry and ask myself.. WHAT CAN I DO TO prepare for this -in case the worst happens ? Is there anything I can do NOW to prevent this fear from coming upon me (or our family)?
Yes... this has "Over thinking" tendencies with it... but I've never felt this was all bad... this allows us to think ahead for every possible pitfall
that could come our way.. if there is any action to take to lesson those risks.. this alleviates my mind .. feeling I am doing all I can in any given situation..
I also calm myself with statistics.. generally what we worry about.. the probable statistical chance of it actually happening is very small....
I have found praying about something can help too, whether there is a God, if he hears me.. I'd like to believe so...
...I recognize my humanness...watching the news, we are reminded daily - life can be taken in the next breath, a car accident could wipe out an entire family....it's a sobering thought.... None of us are immune..
Worry is primarily based on fear and uncertainty. It's the anxiety caused when we think we might lose something important to us, like our job, a relationship...We're afraid feeling we are losing the ability to control a situation, anxious about the future, afraid of losing a dream..
After we have done all we can to lesson our risks.. then it becomes counter productive to drown ourselves in worry, it's just wasted energy at that point.. would be nice to be able to shut our brains off!!
This past year.. we were very worried my husband would be laid off (one by one his co-workers were)... we took 2 actions to do all we could.. I took a job with health benefits to cover our family (in case he was)... while he needed to get a CDL license so he wouldn't be the next guy on the chopping block, we didn't care how much it would cost...time was of the essence! (He was feeling the pressure!).... thankfully our kids Bus driver talked to the owner , they took my husband under their wing...he didn't need the added School bus endorsement .. but that's Ok... he passed the test a couple months later...a sigh of relief... He still might get laid off tomorrow.. but for now.. we did what we could...