Re: Do you worry a lot?
Fear can drive us as much as it can halt us. Perhaps the sweet spot is being able to acknowledge the fear, examine it, without being fearful of it. Or something like that.
My mother is a worrier and has anxiety. I can share good news with her and it quickly turns into something to be worried about. The anxiety is veiled with care - that she has experienced such things and wants me to be aware of them too as a precaution. She can spiral from the simplest of scenarios. Sharing that my friend asked me to do her bridal flowers for her (I'm a hobbyist), took all of 10 minutes before she was warning me about getting sued because the flowers wouldn't be what they wanted and that I ought to decline. It took therapy for me to realize how she turns what are typically pleasant things to the negative. And then how to deal with that; telling her straight how I felt and/or accepting she can't be that person for me. Strangely, she can also be my biggest supporter too. As for the bridal flowers, despite self-doubt and nerves about my skill level and wanting it to be good for my friend (not the reasons my mother raised), the flowers turned out beautifully and most importantly, friend was thrilled. And conversely to my mother's imagination, I had wedding guests asking for my business card wanting to book me, thinking I was a professional florist.
Growing up with my mother, navigating through her anxiety, had an effect though. At times when I feel 'worry' I purposely push myself beyond it. Other times though, my thought patterns can go a negative path. My husband is quick to catch that - particularly when I don't realize I'm doing it. He has inner fear that drives him to an extent but seems to have a healthy respect for what it is. Otherwise, he's very much in the present, dealing with things as they are.
I felt worry when he was talking of becoming a volunteer firefighter. It was a path he was taking so I figured I needed to get okay with it. And he helped me with that by including me as much as possible, sharing the support and training and approach. I trust him and the crew know what they're doing and look out for each other. I can't worry when he's on call-outs; it's pointless and not helpful to him or to me. When he arrived home late not so long ago, covered in smoke, I greeted him with a herbal tea and shared a shower to wash him off. That's how I can be supportive. He needed his turnout gear laundered and I felt slight concern/worry about messing it up and was inspecting it afterwards with an eagle eye. Taking a deep breath, realizing and dealing with what's immediately in front of me, is helpful.
Music belongs in a place with hearts beating and brains dreaming and people falling in love. - J.Buckley