Do you worry a lot? - Talk About Marriage
Physical & Mental Health Issues Marriage and relationships are difficult by themselves, but coping with physical or mental health problems can make things even more difficult.

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post #1 of 47 (permalink) Old 11-29-2016, 11:59 AM Thread Starter
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Question Do you worry a lot?

I've always been a worrier, and by that I mean that I think of the worst case scenarios happening, and then I worry over them. And they usually never happen. I pray when I feel myself getting stressed over things, but this worry, it's not normal. My friends and fiance try to comfort me about the things I worry over, and it helps, but I marvel at how they don't worry like I do. My fiance just handles things as they come, whereas I'll just worry over things that likely won't happen. My dad is the same way as my fiance. Do men handle worry differently?

Things are great in my life, in all areas honestly, but I tend to worry about something bad happening. If I had to pinpoint where the worry stems from, it's that.

How do you handle stress and worry? Do you ever worry and how do you stop worrying? I appreciate any advice you might have.


Sometimes, you fall in love with the most unexpected person, at the most unexpected time. ~ Unknown

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post #2 of 47 (permalink) Old 11-29-2016, 12:36 PM
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Re: Do you worry a lot?

I don't think it has anything to do with men vs women. My brother was the ultimate worrier of our family. He definitely got it from my mom.

I worry, but it doesn't consume me especially about things that haven't happened. I worry about getting sick. I'm not sure why but I've always thought that I will someday and it'll be serious (I know, it's dark stuff). I think losing my father and watching my sister go through breast cancer brought this on.

I worry about the end of my marriage. It's mostly fear driven. On that one, I'm just prepping myself emotionally by worrying. This definitely keeps me up at night at times.

Other than these 2 items, I don't think I'm too much of a worrier!

I think that acceptance and trying to live by the day helps me. I found that I would get overwhelmed by thinking too much in the future. If I just take 1 day at a time, I'm much more mellow.

"Life always offers you a second chance. It's called tomorrow."
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post #3 of 47 (permalink) Old 11-29-2016, 12:43 PM
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Re: Do you worry a lot?

I worry excessively.

I'm enjoying Eckhart Tolle ATM - he calms me down when my worries start to turn into anxiety
I distract myself by playing a computer game, cleaning, studying, (anything that is going to redirect my thoughts)
I get out and do something, meet up with other people and talk about THEIR worries. Change the situation.
If possible I do something about the thing I am worrying about before it gets to a point of anxiety. Sometimes worry prompts us to be pragmatic.
I stay away from situations or conversations that trigger worry. Sometimes we tend to wind ourselves up by placing ourselves in stressful situations or hanging out with negative people. The school playground was full of neurotic mothers triggering each other.
When things get bad my husband medicates me with a night out at the theatre to watch a stand up comedian. There is something about belly laughing that makes me forget my worries.
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post #4 of 47 (permalink) Old 11-29-2016, 12:45 PM
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Re: Do you worry a lot?

Have you seen a therapist or doctor about this? Some worry about certain things is normal, but it sounds like you are beyond that. Does it run in your family or do you have depression?
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post #5 of 47 (permalink) Old 11-29-2016, 12:47 PM Thread Starter
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Re: Do you worry a lot?

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Originally Posted by tropicalbeachiwish View Post
I don't think it has anything to do with men vs women. My brother was the ultimate worrier of our family. He definitely got it from my mom.

I worry, but it doesn't consume me especially about things that haven't happened. I worry about getting sick. I'm not sure why but I've always thought that I will someday and it'll be serious (I know, it's dark stuff). I think losing my father and watching my sister go through breast cancer brought this on.

I worry about the end of my marriage. It's mostly fear driven. On that one, I'm just prepping myself emotionally by worrying. This definitely keeps me up at night at times.

Other than these 2 items, I don't think I'm too much of a worrier!

I think that acceptance and trying to live by the day helps me. I found that I would get overwhelmed by thinking too much in the future. If I just take 1 day at a time, I'm much more mellow.
Not worrying about the future, and just enjoying every day is what I *try* to do lol You touched upon something, my grandmother on my dad's side died last year, and I was very close with her. It took me a while to just want to be social, etc. last year. I wonder if the holidays remind me of her, and even though I love the holidays, I miss her. It's a reminder. And maybe that causes me worry in other parts of my life. Thank you for sharing this with me!

Sometimes, you fall in love with the most unexpected person, at the most unexpected time. ~ Unknown
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post #6 of 47 (permalink) Old 11-29-2016, 12:54 PM
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Re: Do you worry a lot?

Those that worry have imagination.

Those that worry have depth.

Those that worry have anxiety.

Those that worry have an active memory. The Man on the Wall is their alter-ego.

Those that worry do not repeat the mistakes made in the past.
.................................................. .................................................. .................................

They are the past that never died. They [try to] guard the future from the past.

The past that keeps on giving. Keeps on giving the fears that keep on materializing.

Ground Hog Day is Worriers "Labor Day", Ad Infinitum.

This....This is the nub of the stick that pokes me in the eye when the light of day energizes my optic nerve....SunCMars.... The Allegory of the Cave--> On this, I did a '180' and stepped out.

The Lion in Winter. Invictus..By Will, Shall... Saved from harm by my friends.
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post #7 of 47 (permalink) Old 11-29-2016, 12:57 PM
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Re: Do you worry a lot?

I have a type A personality so I tend to overthink things (I view life like a game of chess where each potential move has a series of possible consequences and I tend to think about those). Instead of worrying excessively I think about potential problems and their solutions and make sure that I have everything in place should something unfortunate happen. For example, when I first started my job I was worried about whether it was permanent, so I got integrated in an essential way and made sure to get along with my boss. When I was concerned about what would happen to my kids stability should I have an untimely demise I went out and hired an estate attorney to make sure that everything was in place for my kids to be taken care of. When I was married I was very committed to being a great husband so that I could try to prevent a bad relationship (this failed but not due to things on my end). I understand that not every problem is predictable, but I do my best to live a good life and take reasonable steps to help things go the way I'd prefer.

What specifically do you worry about and is there some action you can take to conquer your concerns?
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post #8 of 47 (permalink) Old 11-29-2016, 01:03 PM Thread Starter
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Re: Do you worry a lot?

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Originally Posted by VermisciousKnid View Post
Have you seen a therapist or doctor about this? Some worry about certain things is normal, but it sounds like you are beyond that. Does it run in your family or do you have depression?
Yea, that's just it, the things most people worry about, I don't. lol ''Normal things.'' I tend to have ''what if'' thinking a lot, and I think I know where it comes from. My dad and I used to argue a lot, and he is somewhat demanding and intimidating at times. We have mended our differences which is great, but sometimes, situations will trigger me back into my childhood and I'll see shades of him in other people in my life, if that makes sense. My only concern with seeing a therapist is I don't want any medication for this, I want a natural way to stop doing this. I work out, pray and eat healthy - so it's really perhaps retraining the way I think about things. Not letting the future overwhelm my present.

Sometimes, you fall in love with the most unexpected person, at the most unexpected time. ~ Unknown
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post #9 of 47 (permalink) Old 11-29-2016, 01:12 PM Thread Starter
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Re: Do you worry a lot?

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Originally Posted by peacem View Post
I worry excessively.

I'm enjoying Eckhart Tolle ATM - he calms me down when my worries start to turn into anxiety
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ss-mAjeWvUU
I distract myself by playing a computer game, cleaning, studying, (anything that is going to redirect my thoughts)
I get out and do something, meet up with other people and talk about THEIR worries. Change the situation.
If possible I do something about the thing I am worrying about before it gets to a point of anxiety. Sometimes worry prompts us to be pragmatic.
I stay away from situations or conversations that trigger worry. Sometimes we tend to wind ourselves up by placing ourselves in stressful situations or hanging out with negative people. The school playground was full of neurotic mothers triggering each other.
When things get bad my husband medicates me with a night out at the theatre to watch a stand up comedian. There is something about belly laughing that makes me forget my worries.
I'm sorry you worry, too, but glad I'm not alone lol

Appreciate the video! I pray and meditate, and also work out a lot, and all those things help. I don't worry 24/7, but ''what'' I worry over is what bothers me. I tend to worry over losing my fiance, or my job, or friends, or my parents. It's not something I think about in that way though, it's more that something else will trigger those worries to come on, if that makes sense.

I agree, laughter does work, and worrying over dumb things can be funny, if we really think about it. lol ((thank you))

Sometimes, you fall in love with the most unexpected person, at the most unexpected time. ~ Unknown
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post #10 of 47 (permalink) Old 11-29-2016, 01:14 PM Thread Starter
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Re: Do you worry a lot?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Bananapeel View Post
I have a type A personality so I tend to overthink things (I view life like a game of chess where each potential move has a series of possible consequences and I tend to think about those). Instead of worrying excessively I think about potential problems and their solutions and make sure that I have everything in place should something unfortunate happen. For example, when I first started my job I was worried about whether it was permanent, so I got integrated in an essential way and made sure to get along with my boss. When I was concerned about what would happen to my kids stability should I have an untimely demise I went out and hired an estate attorney to make sure that everything was in place for my kids to be taken care of. When I was married I was very committed to being a great husband so that I could try to prevent a bad relationship (this failed but not due to things on my end). I understand that not every problem is predictable, but I do my best to live a good life and take reasonable steps to help things go the way I'd prefer.

What specifically do you worry about and is there some action you can take to conquer your concerns?
I like these ideas! So actually thinking of a potential ''problem'' and then coming up with a solution so you don't worry about the problem because you're taking care of the problem before it might happen. I honestly don't do that lol But, I'm going to try that. TY!!


Sometimes, you fall in love with the most unexpected person, at the most unexpected time. ~ Unknown
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post #11 of 47 (permalink) Old 11-29-2016, 01:25 PM
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Re: Do you worry a lot?

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Originally Posted by *Deidre* View Post
I'm sorry you worry, too, but glad I'm not alone lol

Appreciate the video! I pray and meditate, and also work out a lot, and all those things help. I don't worry 24/7, but ''what'' I worry over is what bothers me. I tend to worry over losing my fiance, or my job, or friends, or my parents. It's not something I think about in that way though, it's more that something else will trigger those worries to come on, if that makes sense.

I agree, laughter does work, and worrying over dumb things can be funny, if we really think about it. lol ((thank you))
I worry about my husband dying (which makes him laugh because he assures me he definitely will do just that one day), I worry about my children A LOT even though they are doing fine, I worry about upsetting or hurting people and ruminate over conversations I have had (did I say the wrong thing?).

There is very little worth worrying about when you think about it. But sometimes worry can be a good thing - we look after our health, put money aside for the future, it makes us appreciate the time we have with our nearest and dearest, we make new friends, learn new skills, plan for the worst case scenario....
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post #12 of 47 (permalink) Old 11-29-2016, 01:42 PM
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Re: Do you worry a lot?

Quote:
Originally Posted by *Deidre* View Post
Yea, that's just it, the things most people worry about, I don't. lol ''Normal things.'' I tend to have ''what if'' thinking a lot, and I think I know where it comes from. My dad and I used to argue a lot, and he is somewhat demanding and intimidating at times. We have mended our differences which is great, but sometimes, situations will trigger me back into my childhood and I'll see shades of him in other people in my life, if that makes sense. My only concern with seeing a therapist is I don't want any medication for this, I want a natural way to stop doing this. I work out, pray and eat healthy - so it's really perhaps retraining the way I think about things. Not letting the future overwhelm my present.
Or not letting the past cloud your present. Our childhoods have an enormous influence on our lives. You mentioned being triggered back to your childhood so maybe there is some anxiety coming from that. Just a thought.
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post #13 of 47 (permalink) Old 11-29-2016, 02:01 PM Thread Starter
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Re: Do you worry a lot?

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Originally Posted by VermisciousKnid View Post
Or not letting the past cloud your present. Our childhoods have an enormous influence on our lives. You mentioned being triggered back to your childhood so maybe there is some anxiety coming from that. Just a thought.
It is definitely from my childhood, the triggers. Going back to when my dad was very strict and said hurtful things. We have a really good relationship now, which we mended all of that last year. I've forgiven him, but the worry that those times in childhood caused, lingers. I'm not meaning to complain, it helps to get objective opinions about this.

Sometimes, you fall in love with the most unexpected person, at the most unexpected time. ~ Unknown
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post #14 of 47 (permalink) Old 11-29-2016, 02:11 PM
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Re: Do you worry a lot?

Have you ever tried meditating? It is such a great way to deeply relax. Check out youtube, 1000's of different guided meditations for all sorts of issues. 10 minutes a night before bed can really make a huge difference on your outlook.

I am not really a worrier, my issue is negativity and find great peace when I meditate regularly.
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post #15 of 47 (permalink) Old 11-29-2016, 02:11 PM
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Re: Do you worry a lot?

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