Food AS Love - Talk About Marriage
Physical & Mental Health Issues Marriage and relationships are difficult by themselves, but coping with physical or mental health problems can make things even more difficult.

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post #1 of 1 (permalink) Old 12-14-2016, 07:53 PM Thread Starter
jimrich's Avatar
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: CA
Posts: 256
Question Food AS Love

I wonder how many over weight folks, like several in our family, have ever noticed that food is a substitute for the love and attention they did not get enough of as kids so now, they crave & USE food like it's LOVE or VALIDATION?
Because I know a little about their childhood, I can see how the lack of love and attention is the direct cause of the over eating and OBESITY of several folks in our family and it's very depressing to know that there is absolutely nothing that I can do about the OBESITY of these love starved victims who do not even realize what has happened to them.
I'd like to blame all of this obesity on bad/inadequate parenting because the obese folks in our family very definitely got very INADEQUATE parenting so the parenting connection is glaringly obvious to me.
My late wife exhibited some "food as love" patterns towards the end of her life and began getting to the obese stage. Since I knew a Lot about her unhappy childhood, it was obvious to me that she was USING food to “feel good” or have some comfort (love) but I never pestered her about her weight other than to say what I know about controlling one’s weight by CUTTING BACK on certain foods and amounts of it. This never set very well with my late wife who hated the weight she was gaining BUT did nothing realistic to stop gaining the weight! I probably could have helped her more but, she was in a lot of pain towards the end so I tended to give her or allow her whatever she wanted if it would help her to feel less pain or more happiness.
It honestly breaks my heart that so many folks, like my late wife, are helpless prisoners of early childhood conditioning and programming that kind of FORCES them to do the wrong things such as Pigging Out when triggered or in pain!
Theoretically all of us, over 18, are supposed to be in control and in charge of our selves BUT look around in any mall or fast foods place at all the OBESE folks who don’t even know why they eat like they do! The early childhood programs just run on automatic as the “hurting” folks eat and eat and eat without ever knowing that they are desperately trying to get the love, comfort and validation that was not available to them when they were kids!

How’s your eating habit? Are you OBESE? Why do you eat the way you do?
Do you honestly see food as LOVE????

choose happiness
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