I know this is a good suggestion and one that I have tried to get her to do. I bought her a book about using a 7 minute meditation technique to calm her mind and settle each day. She tried it a few times, but quit that too.
She also had a workbook given to her by one of her therapists from the few sessions that she attended. For a month or so, she would take some time out now and then and sit with the workbook, but that didn't last long enough to have long-term effects either.
Seems to be quite a pattern here as I type these things out! I can't help but interpret all the quitting as a lack of concern about us. How selfish is that? Am I normal to feel that way or just focusing on my own needs for 'us' to be healthy too much??
And by the way, it would appear we were on a nice track for some intimacy on valentine's day yesterday: I bought her flowers and gave her a nice card with a hand-written note telling her she is the love of my life... went out to lunch at a nice little Italian neighborhood restaurant, we later enjoyed a nice home-cooked meal that she prepared for us, we sat and cuddled on the couch for a couple hours in the evening watching a couple of shows that we enjoy, but when it was time for bed, she threw on her frumpy old PJs and showed no interest in sexual intimacy. Again. And it makes me sad and kind of mad at the same time. But I just let her fall asleep without *****ing about it but I hate going to sleep feeling resentment and frustration like that. It lingers and affects us in a negative way when either of us do that.
**And once again I've had to reset my password to log in to this site. Hope I didn't double post again. :-/
So how about calming techniques for you?
Before/During/After menopausal is something I wouldn't wish on anyone, yet here we are human as ever living through one of the guaranteed impermanences life bestows on the female gender. My wife's libido nosedived during this, and she was a tad older than I was (10 years) so hers in the early 50's with me in the early 40's proved a wee challenging. Perhaps timing is everything, but I was embarking on a different path that brought great focus to calming myself and looking at life differently and doing so, saw her challenges differently as well.
Controlling her will not happen for either physical or emotional desire... you are going to have to practice letting go a bit. No it's not fun and it's not fair, but holding on to the resentments that are being created from it are hurting you.
Is she selfish? Is she unmotivated? Is she unconcerned?
Perhaps she is, but is your judgement interfering with the way you are looking at it?
At 31 years, you have been through many changes, this is one more that you simply dislike and I get it, boy do I get it.
You are normal to feel that way and you are just focusing on your own needs for the two of you to be healthy, and it may be too much if it is hurting you.
EB2 used to dress up sexy on her own in her pre-days... "during" days would if I asked, post days says she feels like a clown in such attire and absolutely will not. Her activity habits have changed as well... I could fight it or accept it, guess which one worked best? We went to 2-3 times weekly to once weekly to once monthly during the change, now back to weekly or maybe even every 2 weeks depending on what life throws at us but you know what?
It's the quality I enjoy most, and I won't get that with negativity.
** Off-topic Tech Help: Mac or PC? Browser?