Re: I'm not happy with who I am anymore...
You still need to know figures. I have my set down to dimes. Here's what's yours, and what's mine. No child support or alimony. Include attorney costs for friendly and not friendly split. Include a property division proposal. In my case that's huge due to the substantial art collection we own.
Here's where it gets tricky. It doesn't really matter what the numbers say. In my case I'm happy as a clam to not deal with a McMansion. Not so from her. In your case, she may not be off badly financially but she'll have to get a real job, which is a deal breaker for her.
In other words, while the numbers are favorable to her, she now has to work like the rest of us. That's not desirable for her. She may not even understand it.
I've tried to explain how this works. To no avail. You need to explain the outcome, it's a lot more complicated. It's not simply here's half my 401k, bye.
Months ago we discussed this and I theorized that inability to see thru such scenarios was a bit of a hint towards some mental health issue present. Now that you're in the red zone and she still lives in la la land it almost seems my original assessment wasn't off by much...
Mrs. Z2 sees what she wants to see. And shuts off everything else. Not a recipe for coping.