Re: Feeling down today
Sorry this is late, but I hope you found some face-to-face encouragement that you didn't find here last week. FWIW, the fact that you pose those questions are all GOOD SIGNS! :-) You still have an emotional pulse, if you will. You're still conscientious about forward momentum in life...and finding what brings you fulfillment. Trite as all that may sound, there are many, many people who have buckled under the pressure and given up.
I can relate on so many levels. I will be 45 in a couple of months, and honestly, I think I've been on that bumpy road to mid-life crisis for several years now, LOL! (Trust me, it's not just a man thing.) And sadly, much of it, I can't talk to my DH about because he is so aloof, apathetic, emotionally disengaged. Some of that is probably my own fault. Much like you described your DW, I've been guilty of responding in ways that cause my DH to shut down and stop sharing. :-( But yeh, I totally understand that feeling of being overwhelmed.
Oh, but I'm rambling. I guess I'll just say, take it one day at a time. Definitely go see a therapist again. See if you can find those who work on a sliding scale or whatever. Make time for YOU. Get some fresh air every day. Go walking. Go hit some tennis balls. Take regular bike rides. [Oh! I just went back to re-read...I see you're working out. That's awesome. It's amazing how the benefits of exercise transcend the physical.] Go sit near a lake, river, stream or ocean and just be alone with your thoughts. The ambivalence we have about life, careers, relationships is quite normal, I believe. So continue to lean into your thoughts and questions. Hopefully you have trusted family or friends who will listen and respect this place you find yourself. If so, take time to talk to them. Squash the guilt, and go play hockey again. If finances truly are a hindrance, then maybe find avenues to play for free, if such exists.
Lastly, I'll tell you what has helped me in the past when I found myself drowning/suffocating under the pressures of life and the countless diverging paths that all seem to both beckon and betray me at once: I step outside of myself and go serve others. Aww, Man...talk about bringing things into perspective! While it might not solve the inner crises I struggle with at the time, it just helps to remind me that things could always be worse. That there are others who struggle with lack and needs on a level that I never had to worry about: clothing, shelter, a safe environment, nutritious food...and sometimes just a listening ear or a shoulder to cry on. I've gotten away from volunteering like I used to, but my attempt to encourage you is, in fact, encouraging me. [Note: One of my favorites was working in shelters for battered women...watching and entertaining their children while they attending classes for life skills, coping, independent living, etc.]
I hope something in my rambling helps a little. I just believe that's there's a solution to every problem. And as long as you have breath in your body, every new day is a new opportunity to seek the solutions, solace and security that you and your family deserve. Be kind to yourself, and keep on keepin' on! :-)
Last edited by lalahlove; 03-15-2017 at 12:49 AM.