Need help talking to dh

merri · 01-02-2012, 09:09 PM

I am not ready to give up on my marriage but I feel dh has.
We have gone from arguing to a roommate type relationship. No loove or affection. We have a wonderful 11 year old son. Problems started 11 years ago when I suffered ppd depression and my husband told me to "pull myself up by my boot straps". I started bonding with another man but not that way. He was moral support but I understand it looked bad. I'm prone to really bad anxiety attacks and am therefore about at wits end. We are friendly and polite mostly but I don't kinow how to reach himo or even just go and have fun. I'm the larger problem but he is also very perhaps overly confident and there fore I am always wrong. None of us are perfect. He has always found my shape attractive but now that doesn't even seem to catch his attention. I'm trying to hang on for my son but I just wonder what he is learning and what is happening with us. Has anhyone experienced anything like this. I am open to ideas.

merri · 01-02-2012, 09:27 PM

we are married 15 years.

EleGirl · 01-02-2012, 09:32 PM

The best thing you could do right now is to work on yourself. Go to individual counseling, get a job if you do not have one. If you need an education get started working on the education you need. Get busy.

Hopefully your husband will notice the new you. If not you will be ready to move on.

You wonder what example you are setting for you son. Make sure that the example you set is a good on.

merri · 01-02-2012, 09:49 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by EleGirl

The best thing you could do right now is to work on yourself. Go to individual counseling, get a job if you do not have one. If you need an education get started working on the education you need. Get busy.

I do individual counseling on how to deal with the home situation and how to build myself up. I have a more than full time job which is actually a sore point. He thinks I put in too many hours but I'm a one man show. I've worked my whole adult life. Then I come home and he critcizes, some is constructive, some is not. He is not a monster but very removed. It's just been getting worse for years.

Hopefully your husband will notice the new you. If not you will be ready to move on.

You wonder what example you are setting for you son. Make sure that the example you set is a good on.

Thank you for your feedback, I will think on it.