02-19-2012, 12:43 AM
Join Date: Feb 2012
| | Re: Husband has depression....when is enough enough??
Your post sounds like you know MY life situation. Add to that major booze abuse and you and I could be sisters. My husband lays in bed all day and if I want to speak to him, I have to wait until commercials. I am very vocal about my feelings so he is fully aware of how I feel, yet the uses the depression as an excuse and shuts me down. Every night he goes into the kitchen to play on his computer with a 5th of rum. He knows I hate his drinking but does not care. Tonight I asked him to spend some time with me watching TV (he thinks QUALITY TIME is being in the same room together, I told him that is QUANTITY TIME but he ignores me).
After I asked him to spend time with me (a wife shouldn't have to beg for her husband's attention), he got angry. After that, I clammed up, didn't say a word. He asked what was wrong with me and I said I AM LONELY, and he just turned around and continue to drink and play.
We haven't had sex in over a year, we are only in our 40's and used to have a great sex life. Yet, if he sees me chatting online with male friends, he gets jealous and forbids me from talking to certain men. Says they all want to get in my pants. First of all, I am a big girl and can say NO to someone who wants to screw me and TWO, he hasn't wanted in my pants for a year. So am I supposed to sit in a house with another human being and feel so lonely? We are just room mates. Zero intimacy. Yes, I have told him everything I feel, he just rolls his eyes in his head and refuses to listen. If I were to cheat on him, he would be shocked. Which is stupid because I have been begging for affection for years. I am so glad I found this site where I can vent. I cannot talk to my family because they will want to fix everything.
Yes, I went to therapy for 5 years, he refuses to even get a check up. I am not asking for help, I just need someone who understands.