Paulination

I will do that. I'm just eliminating some variables first like possible EA. I put a keylogger on the computer today to try to get a better insight into what is bothering her (maybe she'll confide in a friend). If I don't find an EA or anything useful, then it must be medical and I'll go from there. Thanks.

Paulination

I talked to my wife about her thyroid and apparently she had her levels checked in November and they were normal. I am not convinced that there still might be a problem there so I told her we need to get a second opinion and another test from a new physician whom I am seeing who is just great. I told her I will make the appointment and take her to it.

I have come to the conclusion that though there might be a medical compnent to this, there definatley is an emotional one as well. No EA or PA as confirmed by my snooping but she is profoundly unsettled in the relationship and I am at a point where every move I make is critical.

I am hoping that by solving the medial side, it will help her cope with the emotional better.

MSP

Stop The Thyroid Madness is an excellent resource for puzzling thyroid issues. They have a book, too, though I haven't read it (I have several other books). I was given thyroid medication a year ago and my doctor just doubled my dose. It went undiagnosed for years--maybe since I was a teenager.

Paulination

I had a blow out with my wife last night that ended with her staying at her moms for the evening. I am just so tired of working on the marriage and watching her do nothing that it kind of hit a head. This is probably our sixth o seventh fight in the last two weeks over this and they always seem to occur late at night. I am just done trying.

I give her a book (Divorce Busting) and she won't read the book. I give her a number for a counselor, she won't call. NOTHING.

I think I may have figured out part of the problem and that is she is so opposed to sex right now that any hint of affection or that the marriage might be getting better might cause me to try. Freakin insulting.

I told her that is she would just work on the marriage the sex wouldn't be an issue. If she doens't want it, fine for now but at least work on the marriage so the other parts of this get better.

My coworker definately thinks its depression since she say she felt the same way when she was depressed.

deejov

Sorry to hear this.
Maybe the coworker is right.
Unfortunately, I don't know what you can do to help, other than getting her to a dr. for help.

Is there family or friends that she can talk to?

Sometimes, those closest to us are the ones we cannot take advice from. Or we won't do what they ask us to. Stubborn?

I know you seemed like you wanted to fix things, maybe she has to come up with her own solution. You are done trying now, she will either try to repair things, or be happy to live as room-mates.

Is there ANY resentment going on? Any chance she would come here to read \ post?

Paulination

I noticed she seemed down about a month ago and probed her and it came out that she was not happy and hasn't been for a few years. This from what I can see is in direct contrast to what I have experienced in her. She also said she has lost her libido.

When I spied on her facebook chat she told a friend that "something is missing" and that "I just don't feel the same way about him".

We have gotten into numerous fights about this (her unhappiness not the spying), most of them started as a discussion that progressed into a fight as I have a hard time not feeling rejected.

I'm torn as to what is really going on. My wife has had a problem with depression in the past (especially after a bad event in her life) as well as her thyroid. She is currently on a thoroid medicine (synthoid) but she is showing signs that it may not be working (though her DR said her levels were normal last November.

I want to believe it is medical and not her true feelings. The evidence I keep falling back on is:

1) She exercises alot and plays soccer twice a week and is on Jenny Craig but still can't lose weight.

2) Her other hobby after soccer is scrapbooking and the last time she did that was coincidentally the same night she told me how she felt. She used to scrapbook every night. I even bought the Criket machine she has wanted the last three years but she has barely used it.

3) She can barely articulate what she is sad about. She really had to think about it and then said "You snap too often at the kids and I think you drink too much". The snapping at the kids stopped that night and I cut back on the drinking but nothing has changed with her.

4) When this started she just had something bad happen with her soccer team that threatened to dismantle it. She was VERY sad about this at the time. The situation is better now but she is not.

5) No sex drive any longer. She has tried to convince me that she hasn't had one for awhile and that sex was just about keeping me satisfied but looking back I don't see it that way.
She never initiated it but she was always enthusiastic during the act and had no problem having orgasms. Always more then one (3 or 4) were usual.

Evidence it might all be me,

1) Just that she says it is.