Physical & Mental Health IssuesMarriage and relationships are difficult by themselves, but coping with physical or mental health problems can make things even more difficult.
I found this site while trying to get some insight into my circumstances and am glad that I did.
I have been married for 11 years and we have two small children. I work and my wife is a "stay at home" mom. She has had a problem in the past with PMS making her depressed but this time it feels different to me and I don't know it is because there is more to it, or because of other things magnifying it.
She is active in adult recreational soccer and has two teams. Her favorite team has recently been shook up by some infighting and the prospect that some members will be leaving has caused her some distress. This happenned at about the time when her PMS starts to kick in.
Her mood has become one of malaise and sadness. Whats worse though is it is all directed at me. She doesn't answer the phone when I call, gets mad easily, doesn't initiate conversation with me and generally seems annoyed with my pressence.
I finally got her talking last night and she simply says that she "doesn't feel happy with her life". What kills me about this is that this is the life that she designed and that I have worked so hard to provide her. I can't get her to really site any specifics, she's just sad. It all happenned suddenly enough that I want to believe it is PMS but why would a women do this kind of damage to a relationship based on a temporary issue?
It all happenned suddenly enough that I want to believe it is PMS but why would a women do this kind of damage to a relationship based on a temporary issue?
I read an article about women with PMS and it said that the only thing that changes during that time is the women's ability to hide her feelings. It's more then likely that she always feels this way and it will slowly get worse. Maybe she's ready to do something different with her life but doesnt know what to do.
I have PMS very badly! It runs among the women in our family. When I was a teen, I was not allowed to show any anger or express my opinions. I've learned to control it and I have to remove myself if possible and stay in a quiet room. It lasts only a few days per month. My mother always showed her PMS. It's rude. My daughter has it just as bad, I send her to her room. I also get very hungry a week prior.
I feel so angry that I want to shout at everyone, but I keep it to myself. Some months are better then others. Once I get my period, its over. Some women get very emotional and cry at any moment. It's a real thing, but there are ways to manage it. I have much worse things to deal with then PMS. I also get homromal migraines.
Us women run mainly off emotions. The best thing you can do is communicate with your wife. Let her know when she's out of line. If I do get cranky, my husband will kindly let me know and tell me I should take a break or a nap for a while. My PMS has never gotten in the way of our marriage. Posted via Mobile Device
Does the sadness follow her menstrual cycle?
Because if it's PMS she should feel better/happy once her period starts until mid month...when slowly the PMS symptoms start to increase again.
If she's sad all the time then she has depression...not PMS.
She's 32. As long as I have known her PMS has been an issue from time to time.
Things are generally tolerable with her when she does have it unless something else happens in her life then she gets in a deep funk. The situation I described above I'm hoping the catalyst for how she feels now and that it will clear up in a few days.
The way she has been treating me is hurtful and I have told her so but she seems incapable of expressing any empathy. I can't imagine knowingly treating someone this way and not feeling anything towards it.
If that's as long as it lasts meaning it ends once she starts then it's PMS. Depending on how bad it is there are two ways to beat PMS. One is through lifestyle changes. You know diet, exercise and taking it easy on those days. The other is meds. Lexapro and Prozac are commonly prescribed for PMS and can be taken just for those two weeks as needed.
Like your wife I can manage my PMS just fine unless something big happens. During those times I take Lexapro which to me is a much better option than yelling at everyone. LOL
I only ask because in my family, female problems seem to be extremely common. My mom ended up having a hysterectomy after having her tubes tied 10yrs prior.
Her hormone balance mixed with severe endometriosis and..I want to say andiometriosis (something sounding similar to that) was causing her to never break from her pms.
She just got progressively worse through the years, it went from one week of completely unable to keep herself together, to two weeks, to the entire month. I know too that with mine, while I usually just avoid people (because i just get mean, she's an inconsolable crier) if something sets me off, I can't stop it. I can hear what I'm saying, I am conscious that its not right, but I cannot stop it for the life of me, its like watching myself in 3rd person view. (I too have my moms issues, so I understood what she was talking about when she was telling me about the hysterectomy pre-surgery.)
She very well may just have an imbalance related to her lady parts, which isn't too hard to deal with, unless she refuses hormone treatments (like me) or just outright refuses to go to the doctors. Show general concern for her well being not specifically the pms itself. No one likes to have their pms thrown in their face.
No one likes to have their pms thrown in their face.
Trust me, I haven't even gone there yet. I'll wait untill things settle down a bit. As far as other problems, nothing that I can think of. Shes adopted so her family history is unavailable.
The thing that I find so troubling is she can't define the problem. She's just "unhappy". The problem is that I have no way of making her happy because she has everything she wants or needs (as far as I can tell).
She stays at home with the kids (her desire and it took alot of effort on my part to make it happen), she has her own activities (her soccer league) which I pay for and support, a loving husband, two great kids etc... yet she is unhappy.
If this is what unhappiness looks like then I would hate to see true misery. I can't help but actually feel offended and resentful at the way she is treating me given all that I do for her. These are all things I can't say to her at the moment.
If that's as long as it lasts meaning it ends once she starts then it's PMS. Depending on how bad it is there are two ways to beat PMS. One is through lifestyle changes. You know diet, exercise and taking it easy on those days. The other is meds. Lexapro and Prozac are commonly prescribed for PMS and can be taken just for those two weeks as needed.
Like your wife I can manage my PMS just fine unless something big happens. During those times I take Lexapro which to me is a much better option than yelling at everyone. LOL
I think that's funny. I almost decked the nurse practitioner who told me to take prozac for my pms. her response was "it'll help the crying" and I responded with "I don't f* ing cry, I just get angry"
but maybe too, an overall hormone balancing rx would help? maybe like a low dosage birth control?
I know that my pms was much easier as was my period on birth control, high dose ones even turned me into some overly happy lunatic (in comparison to my usual temperment) and if it wasn't for the other side effects I don't like, I'd take them now just for that reason.
i'm peri-menopausal and was having terrible (and frightening) PMS symptoms. I now take a herb called Chaste berry (Vitex).
It has been a life saver for me (probably literally)... it may not be right for everyones situation athough it will help many women with low progesterone and PMS and it has no side effects.
I've been doing alot of research online about PMS symptoms or even PMDD and have read alot of posts of women describing almost exactly what my wife has been doing. I think the fact that she says "she's unhappy with her life" but can't articulate any reason why is evidence of that.
I mean, she has a great life by all accounts. She's happy most of the time and she's well taken care of. There are no abuse issue in the house, no real money woes nothing. Just suddenly she is in a major funk and taking it out on me.
She visited her mom last night aqnd her mom told me she really couldn't come up with any reason why she is unhappy either. All my wife could say is she doesn't want a divorce and is not interested in any other men but doesn't know what she wants to do beyond that. I'm counting down the days to her period (Thursday) to see if anything changes. For the sake of our marriage I hope thats the case because I can't live like this forever.
Is it PMS or Something More? 
