beingliedto

I'd like to hear from both men and women about this if there's anyone who'd be willing to share.

I believe my husband is going through a midlife crisis. He's been having an emotional affair with a co-worker who's 23, and he's 60. He's going out with people half his age. He wants to do whatever he wants to do. He leaves me home, doesn't want to have sex anymore, doesn't want to spend time with me, and so much more. He actually moved out and is staying at a hotel, best I know. He wants some "space."

In looking on the web for answers I ran across this website about Mens Midlife Crisis. His name is written all over it.

Midlife Club: HIS Midlife Crisis!

I'm confused on what to do, if I can do anything. How to people get through this, if they even try. It sounds like it's hard to get through. I can't sit here waiting to see if he'll get through this, I can't take this. Does anyone survive this and if so, how hard is it to stay with someone going through all these emotions?

Thanks for any insight.

EleGirl

Well I could claim that my husband is going through a mid-life crisis. He's 57 and acting 15. All he does all day is play PC games. He will not work. But i'm not sure if this is a second childhood or a mid-life crises.

I am sorry that you are going through this. It's hard and hurtful.

The best thing that you can do is to take care of yourself. You do not want to watch the train wreck that is about to happen nor is it healthy for you to sit around and pine.

My suggestion is that you behave towards him like the 180 in my signature block below. This will protect you emotionally. And if he comes to his senses and comes back to you, you will be mentally and emotionally healthier and will be able to deal with the situation in a much clearer manner.

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Surviving An Affair - What Are Plan A and Plan B? 180 for Betrayed Spouses


To Create A Passionate Marriage - Five Steps to Romantic Love His Needs, Her Needs Love Busters

artlady

Well, I survived my husband's midlife crisis, which happened in 2010. One day he came home from a trip away, told me he was "unhappy with everything" in his life, then two weeks later, left me (but came home two weeks later for ONE day to file for divorce). While he was gone, 900 miles away, he barely worked, got drunk every day, blew almost all our money, and lived with his first serious girlfriend. I didn't know any of this while it was happening-- all I knew was that he "loved me but wasn't in love with me", he wanted nothing to do with our life before (we'd been together 21 years at that point), and he was bound and determined to be happy elsewhere and do whatever he wanted. Absolutely NO ONE was going to tell him what he was doing was wrong.

BUT, he did come out of his fog, and he came home after ten weeks. I won't even say that his midlife crisis ended then: he just learned to deal with the changes he needed in his life more constructively (and dumped the sociopath ex-girlfriend).

I agree with EleGirl: take care of yourself. Do the 180. Prepare for if he doesn't come out of his fog: I know from experience that any pleading you do will fall on deaf ears, and your H's midlife crisis could last longer than my H's.

I am sorry you're going through this: it's so incredibly painful and bewildering. I hope the best for you- for both of you.