Can one benefit from being emotionally abused?
Sorry if this is in the wrong forum...
I've been with the same man for 5 years. I suffer from anxiety (or, how I like to call it - judgement syndrome); he's a narcissist and a perfectionist. I have low self esteem, he has high self esteem, and often, though jokingly, he puts me down and makes me feel like I'm incapable of doing anything right. He's emotionally and verbally abusive, because that's the only way of communicating he got from his abusive parents.
What I've come to accept is that he won't change. I won't be with him forever, but I don't want to leave just yet. I have constructed a certain system of thinking and I'm here to see if it's naive/foolish to think that I'm actually benefiting from the emotional abuse, because I'm fully aware of it and I want to learn how to face people like that. When I learned it's not completely my fault I've been treated like a stupid child, I got to look at things in a different way. I can study my behavior and his behavior, become a stronger person and benefit from all this in the future.
So, what do you think? Am I right, or am I deluding myself?