07-03-2012, 12:06 PM
Join Date: Jul 2012
| | Living seperately due to depression?
My current boyfriend and I have been living together for 6 months. We both are separated parents, dealing with custody issues in court. Mine is nearing closure, however his, being a father, is only just heating up and it is taking a toll on him
Both my BF and I suffer from and are being treated for depression, me for almost 3 years (the length since I got separated) and him for about a year and a half (same thing...separation). We have both been very understanding and supportive of each other, and we seem to have a very good friendship as well as love for each other.
unfortunately, he has been spiralling downward and withdrawing. I have tried to be supportive, encourage him to see his doctor, focus on things that make him happy. I have booked and appointment for myself, as this situation has affected me deeply and I am feeling a lot more depressed and sad.
However he announced on Friday, that he feels he needs to be on his own to get the space he needs. He insists that he wants us to remain BF/GF and still continue the relationship, but that he feels his depression is having a toll on me, and my daughter (who is 6 and with us half the time). He is making plans to move out in 2 months, which means I will have to move too.
I admit I feel left out of the decision, and a little betrayed, but I understand that his thinking may not be so rational and that he believes what he is doing is best for all of us. He says he wants to remain living on his own, that we cannot live together again, as he does not want to hurt anyone else.
So I really would like to know your opinion on this. I am not naive, I am open to a "reality check" and I know that there are huge odds here. I just want to know if this is a normal thought process, decision for someone who is depressed. Could he really think this is the solution, and is it likely to help? I understand a separation of living places for a time, to sort things out, but permanent? How do I support him without becoming an enabler or losing myself?