07-14-2012, 06:42 PM
Join Date: Nov 2011
Location: Middle USA
| | Re: Need some perspective.
Yes, it would be very hard to accept.
Even with you not being violent,.. just a one time yelling , "getting a point accross" to the kid... She could have used your depression to get a restraining order.
Ie- put a spin on it like, He's clinically depressed... could be a danger to himself or kids at any point... don't know when he'll crack.. etc, etc.
I know it does not seem fair. But I could see a divorce lawyer taking advantage of that. I do not know the other's side. Maybe you need to sit back and think.. Would my kids' describe me as an aggressive person, or a mean dad? Would they describe you as a happy go lucky dad.. (Ie, if an divorce judge brought them into a room alone without your wife, and asked their opinions.)
If you honestly think that they would not describe you has mean, aggressive, or at worst "troubled"... then don't worry about the restraining order, just try to accept that that is her way of keeping you back & letting you know she is not in favor of saving the marriage.
It seems more like you need to verbally reason things out (with a friend, relative, counselor,...etc) to to point that you can accept life without her. Seems like you will not be back with her, while the depression problems continue to be an issue.
I am not trying to depress you. I am hoping that you can see that your feeling better about yourself needs to come first. One step at a time is even hard to take sometimes. But believe me, if you keep trying to step forward & make things just a tiny bit better each step, then eventually you can look back and see how far you've come.
I don't think you need to be looking back yet though. Focus on those forward steps for a while. Good luck. & Know that you are worth it to be the best you can.. Both for yourself, and for your kids.