Physical & Mental Health IssuesMarriage and relationships are difficult by themselves, but coping with physical or mental health problems can make things even more difficult.
I have been in the hospital for treatment of major depression and anxiety disorder. I'm on Prosac and other meds. My husband thinks its manipulation or laziness or just being a drama queen. He either walks away or says things like "Oh THIS again". His harsh words, or no words at all, make me feel all alone and very hurt. He's been told by psychiatrists he should try to help me but he won't and his anger makes it much worse.
I'm sorry your husband isn't more emotionally supportive of you. He needs to be reminded that depression is a serious condition, and that it is impossible for someone to just "snap out of it" or "get over it." I have quite a number of friends who have depression (I might have it too) so I understand what it's like. There seems to be a lot of people who don't really understand depression and how it works, even after they teach about it in health class in high school.
He even might be hurting too. He may feel helpless, and his way of coping may be acting out in anger. Hang in there. Don't take any insults he throws seriously, because despite how bad you may feel, know you are a good person.
Thank you so much. I am sure you are right in that he doesn't know how to respond. But I have difficulty understanding why he doesn't know how to be compassionate unless he just doesn't care, which may be the reason for all of our problems, including my depression. Thank you again!
Not making any excuses for him but it is very hard to live with some one who suffers from depression. I have been guilty of the behavior that your husband is displaying. You try to be supportive but feel it's useless because nothing changes and after a while you are spent and feel a bit of resentment. It starts to feel one sided . Again, not saying it's right..it just might be how he is feeling.
I have been in the hospital for treatment of major depression and anxiety disorder. I'm on Prosac and other meds. My husband thinks its manipulation or laziness or just being a drama queen. He either walks away or says things like "Oh THIS again". His harsh words, or no words at all, make me feel all alone and very hurt. He's been told by psychiatrists he should try to help me but he won't and his anger makes it much worse.
*hug* I know your husband's attitude is painful. When I went through a depression, my immediate family behaved in the same manner. I know they were frantic and upset, but they were not helping the situation. I forgive them because now I realize how heartbreaking it is to have a depressed teenager.
If you and the psychiatrists have spoken to your husband about his angry words and dismissive attitude and he won't try to be more understanding, I don't think it is healthy for you to live with him. It could lead to another hospitalization due to stress.
Thank you joe kidd & FirstYearDown. You both are right & very insightful. Yes, I think I can understand the difficulty my husband has with it. The drama. But can I live with that? I don't know. The lack of compassion or care makes the depression worse. I think every relationship needs support of each other to thrive. Really even one reassuring word would make a world of difference.
I have lost a lot of respect for him & often question my choices, which are few right now because of finances.
Thank you again, this forum has been very helpful!
I left an abusive home with nothing but the clothes on my back and I understand how scary it is to leave with very little. However, when I left my parent's house, I had more than enough of feeling hurt and stifled all the time. It didn't matter how poor I was, as long as I didn't have to deal with being abused.
There is nothing more frustrating to a man than when his SO has a problem and he feels helpless to fix it. Men like to fix things and when we repeatedly can not, sometimes we throw our hands in the air.
As a person that used to take prozac for my anger/depression (I never felt depressed, but the Dr.s said my anger was an indicator) I took it for years and it worked almost perfectly, but it bothered me to take it. I loved feeling in control but hated to rely on a pill for that control.
I researched depression/anger issues and found out some interesting stuff about the chemicals in our food and the alleged links to our brains. I changed my diet and started exercising (although I can't seem to lose this weight) I have been prozac free for over 2 years now. I feel great can run 15k without stopping and am going to run a marathon someday. I did all this under the guidance of my Dr. and you should too, if you choose to do so.
Not everyone will respond well to the changes that you have made. Some people truly need pills to function and they should not be made to feel weak or inadequate because of that. Unfortunately, there is a horrible stigma with mental illness in our society.
Again...not saying it's right , just throwing out my way of thinking at the time.
It seemed that being "supportive" during those times was in fact "rewarding" her for not being able to cope.
Wrong...I know.
Hmmm...if my husband is supportive of me during a difficult time, he is enabling me not to cope??? I don't get that. Aren't spouse supposed to be there for each other? We can be supportive without coddling.
Hmmm...if my husband is supportive of me during a difficult time, he is enabling me not to cope??? I don't get that. Aren't spouse supposed to be there for each other? We can be supportive without coddling.
Depends on what supportive is I guess. I can say I'm not very good at it. My way was to just to try and take care of what I thought might be the issue at the time.
Yes, I think it may be the difference between the way men & women think. I can totally understand the "rewarding" dilemma. I have felt that way towards my kids at times. You don't want the behavior to continue. But I think that women tend to think of a man that gives her the benefit of the doubt & comforts her as her hero. I think the depression would actually get better in time because her partner understands. If he thinks I am crying for attention, maybe he should give me a little attention? I guess I am a drama queen, ha.
When my husband backs off at the very moment I need him most, it does make me stop crying eventually. I don't really break down like I used to. But unfortunately it also takes away my feelings for him.
I have been in the hospital for treatment of major depression and anxiety disorder. I'm on Prosac and other meds. My husband thinks its manipulation or laziness or just being a drama queen. He either walks away or says things like "Oh THIS again". His harsh words, or no words at all, make me feel all alone and very hurt. He's been told by psychiatrists he should try to help me but he won't and his anger makes it much worse.
Oh mu Hunni I feel for you!! I am going thre the SAME EXAACT thing! I go threw HORRIBLE depression spells..and it just runs in my family and i am bi-polar! I am on NO medications for it nether so i STRUGGEL horribly And i cant even tell H when i am feeling down or depressed because he gets angry and starts to think that its his fault! But its JUST a disease that people deal with i just want you to kno im GOING threw the SAMN EXACT thing keep ur head up and if YOU ever NEED TO JUST talk to me so we can relate! PLEASE private message me<3 and i will give you my number or email Keep your head up Hun! I feel for you It hard:
There is nothing more frustrating to a man than when his SO has a problem and he feels helpless to fix it. Men like to fix things and when we repeatedly can not, sometimes we throw our hands in the air.
As a person that used to take prozac for my anger/depression (I never felt depressed, but the Dr.s said my anger was an indicator) I took it for years and it worked almost perfectly, but it bothered me to take it. I loved feeling in control but hated to rely on a pill for that control.
I researched depression/anger issues and found out some interesting stuff about the chemicals in our food and the alleged links to our brains. I changed my diet and started exercising (although I can't seem to lose this weight) I have been prozac free for over 2 years now. I feel great can run 15k without stopping and am going to run a marathon someday. I did all this under the guidance of my Dr. and you should too, if you choose to do so.
WOW..thanks for that Knowledge!! I will have to look into that! And change my Diet Accordingly..thank you Wiseman
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When I cry my husband gets angry 
Re: When I cry my husband gets angry 
And i cant even tell H when i am feeling down or depressed because he gets angry and starts to think that its his fault! But its JUST a disease that people deal with
Keep your head up Hun! I feel for you It hard:
