Are you down with the BPD? - Page 3 - Talk About Marriage
Physical & Mental Health Issues Marriage and relationships are difficult by themselves, but coping with physical or mental health problems can make things even more difficult.

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post #31 of 218 (permalink) Old 11-21-2012, 02:06 PM Thread Starter
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Re: Are you down with the BPD?

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Originally Posted by ScarletBegonias View Post
Have I told you lately that I <3 you?
Awwww, I <3 you too!


My little brother died on April 18, 2015 after losing the fight to cancer. Please help me be able to bury him. My parents do not have the means to do so. http://www.gofundme.com/sd4ch9bk
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post #32 of 218 (permalink) Old 11-21-2012, 02:07 PM
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Re: Are you down with the BPD?

awww warm and fuzzy BPD'ers
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post #33 of 218 (permalink) Old 11-21-2012, 02:08 PM Thread Starter
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Re: Are you down with the BPD?

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awww warm and fuzzy BPD'ers
Is that allowed?

My little brother died on April 18, 2015 after losing the fight to cancer. Please help me be able to bury him. My parents do not have the means to do so. http://www.gofundme.com/sd4ch9bk
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post #34 of 218 (permalink) Old 11-21-2012, 02:10 PM
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Re: Are you down with the BPD?

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Is that allowed?
well sh*t,ya know I just don't know

LOL
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post #35 of 218 (permalink) Old 11-21-2012, 02:12 PM Thread Starter
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Re: Are you down with the BPD?

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well sh*t,ya know I just don't know

LOL
We are probably just bi and don't know it. I shall refrain from trying to influence your sexuality......

My little brother died on April 18, 2015 after losing the fight to cancer. Please help me be able to bury him. My parents do not have the means to do so. http://www.gofundme.com/sd4ch9bk
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post #36 of 218 (permalink) Old 11-21-2012, 02:14 PM
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Re: Are you down with the BPD?

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We are probably just bi and don't know it. I shall refrain from trying to influence your sexuality......
yeah you keep your influences to yourself there missy!there will be no gay beach attendance for this one! *adjusting my halo*

sexy b**ch
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post #37 of 218 (permalink) Old 11-21-2012, 02:16 PM Thread Starter
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Re: Are you down with the BPD?

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yeah you keep your influences to yourself there missy!there will be no gay beach attendance for this one! *adjusting my halo*

sexy b**ch
I'm just having a MLC. That reminds me, I need to shave and put on some sexy panties.......

My little brother died on April 18, 2015 after losing the fight to cancer. Please help me be able to bury him. My parents do not have the means to do so. http://www.gofundme.com/sd4ch9bk
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post #38 of 218 (permalink) Old 11-21-2012, 02:22 PM
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Re: Are you down with the BPD?

I dunno, I finished therapy, in fact got kicked out of it for overstaying my welcome. I take an Rx that's good for neurotransmitters, sedation (mild effect during the day as I take it at night), and also functions as an antihistamine and remedy for short-term memory loss (something to do with neurotransmitters.) I have no dx, but I get my care from the V.A and they don't need a dx. I only see a nurse now to have blood tests and check for side effects of the Rx.

One thing from therapy I can not even force myself to be co-dependent. If I shouldn't be doing something for someone, I now feel absolutely no inclination to lift a finger. I might even say something empathetic, like, yah, I know how it feels when sh*t piles up and you have to dig yourself out...that makes it clear that I'm on vaca, and people need to take care of their own stuff, themselves, unless they are really in deep kimshi and have to ask/beg for help (and are doing everything they can to help themselves...)

I also have pretty good boundaries now. That guy I dated once who grabbed for my popcorn...and texted me while I was working after I told him I didn't text while working...he's history. He made it to one date, I was pretty much done with him halfway through. I notice a lot more when I'm irritated with someone now.

I also notice when I click with someone.

Really, I do think it's all about relationship space, and also how you treat yourself...if you get along okay and don't shoot yourself in the foot and don't have too many o-c behaviors, life is pretty good.
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post #39 of 218 (permalink) Old 11-21-2012, 06:50 PM
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We are probably just bi and don't know it. I shall refrain from trying to influence your sexuality......
I am now officially interested in this thread.
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post #40 of 218 (permalink) Old 11-21-2012, 06:51 PM
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By the way, I might have BBPD because I border on having all the symptoms of BPD.

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post #41 of 218 (permalink) Old 11-22-2012, 06:46 AM
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post #42 of 218 (permalink) Old 11-25-2012, 09:06 AM Thread Starter
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Re: Are you down with the BPD?

I do so love seeing people diagnose themselves with BPD.....lol Like I said, it is "hip" now.

My little brother died on April 18, 2015 after losing the fight to cancer. Please help me be able to bury him. My parents do not have the means to do so. http://www.gofundme.com/sd4ch9bk
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post #43 of 218 (permalink) Old 11-25-2012, 09:35 AM
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Re: Are you down with the BPD?

I'm down with OPP.

Yea, you know me.


Real women don't want flowers and chocolate.
They want vodka and Taco Bell.
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post #44 of 218 (permalink) Old 11-25-2012, 12:53 PM
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Re: Are you down with the BPD?

So is the opinion here that BPD traits may crest during seasons of one's life?
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post #45 of 218 (permalink) Old 11-25-2012, 02:29 PM
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Re: Are you down with the BPD?

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So is the opinion here that BPD traits may crest during seasons of one's life?
DarkSide, there is growing evidence that the traits are the worst at puberty and subside somewhat by 18, at which time they level off. Then, it is believed, they subside a little more at about age 44. See, e.g., the 2008 study results at Prevalence, Correlates, Disability, and Comorbidity of DSM-IV Borderline Personality Disorder: Results from the Wave 2 National Epidemiologic Survey on Alcohol and Related Conditions. The result is that there is much ballyhoo about BPD not being as "chronic" as previously thought. Well, that certainly is good news for the BPDers.

Yet, from the point of view of a "Non" having to deal with all the abuse, I don't think that "mellowing" gives much relief to the abused spouses. For one thing, does it really matter that a BPDer drops from meeting 100% of the diagnostic criteria to meeting only 80% or 90% of the criteria?

To the statisticians, this improvement means A LOT because, given the absurd binary system now being used for diagnosis, the implication is that lots of people have switched from the "has BPD" category to the "has no BPD" category in their old age. To the abused spouses, however, this improvement may mean only a reduction in temper tantrums from once every two weeks to once every two-and-a-half weeks. The misery index, then, barely changes. (What makes a radical change to the misery index is when that 1% of BPDers work hard in therapy, as Pidge and other BPDers on this forum have done.)

Another thing that bothers me about these studies is that I've never seen a distinction made between the BPDers who are high functioning and those that are low functioning. This is troubling because, if nearly all the improvements are being made by low functioning people who are becoming high functioning, there may be little or no improvement happening with the folks who were high functioning to begin with.

This is troubling for two reasons. One is that we Nons would not date the low functioning BPDers, much less marry them. Hence, if we are married to a BPDer spouse -- as I was for 15 years -- she is already high functioning. So our lives will not improve AT ALL if the improvements are generally being made by only the low functioning BPDers.

The other reason it is troubling is that, because LF BPDers are in such severe pain, they are far more willing to seek help and work hard to make improvements. In contrast, HF BPDers are extremely resistant to therapy and rarely have the self awareness to even acknowledge having the issues. For these reasons, I remain very skeptical that an abused spouse is going to see any substantial improvement when his BPDer partner reaches middle age.

Certainly, I didn't even though I spent a small fortune taking my BPDer exW to a team of psychologists and MCs for weekly visits for 15 years. At the end, she had me arrested and thrown into jail on a bogus charge of "brutalizing her." If you would like to read about some of my experiences with a middle-age "improved and mellowed" BPDer, please see my post in Maybe's thread at My list of hell!.
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