Are you down with the BPD? - Page 6 - Talk About Marriage
Physical & Mental Health Issues Marriage and relationships are difficult by themselves, but coping with physical or mental health problems can make things even more difficult.

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post #76 of 218 (permalink) Old 11-28-2012, 10:07 AM Thread Starter
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Re: Are you down with the BPD?

I still <3 you.....lol

xxlovexx


My little brother died on April 18, 2015 after losing the fight to cancer. Please help me be able to bury him. My parents do not have the means to do so. http://www.gofundme.com/sd4ch9bk
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post #77 of 218 (permalink) Old 11-28-2012, 10:07 AM
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Re: Are you down with the BPD?

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Funny AR.



it's okay because once I start to pull away you'll start the love bombs

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post #78 of 218 (permalink) Old 11-28-2012, 10:08 AM
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Re: Are you down with the BPD?

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it's okay because once I start to pull away you'll start the love bombs
omg I'm dying

someone knows bpd.
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post #79 of 218 (permalink) Old 11-28-2012, 10:10 AM Thread Starter
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Re: Are you down with the BPD?

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it's okay because once I start to pull away you'll start the love bombs
Gawd! Why am I friends with you?

My little brother died on April 18, 2015 after losing the fight to cancer. Please help me be able to bury him. My parents do not have the means to do so. http://www.gofundme.com/sd4ch9bk
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post #80 of 218 (permalink) Old 11-28-2012, 10:12 AM
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Re: Are you down with the BPD?

crazy likes crazy

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post #81 of 218 (permalink) Old 11-28-2012, 10:33 AM Thread Starter
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Re: Are you down with the BPD?

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crazy likes crazy

My little brother died on April 18, 2015 after losing the fight to cancer. Please help me be able to bury him. My parents do not have the means to do so. http://www.gofundme.com/sd4ch9bk
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post #82 of 218 (permalink) Old 11-28-2012, 10:35 AM
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Re: Are you down with the BPD?

There's good crazy and bad crazy.Being unaware of your BPD is bad crazy.Being aware is good crazy bc you get all the passionate,sizzling lover traits AND you're able to talk yourself down from crazytown spirals.
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post #83 of 218 (permalink) Old 11-28-2012, 10:37 AM
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Re: Are you down with the BPD?

and swimming naked in a public fountain while manic is always a blast

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post #84 of 218 (permalink) Old 11-28-2012, 10:39 AM
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Re: Are you down with the BPD?

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There's good crazy and bad crazy.Being unaware of your BPD is bad crazy.Being aware is good crazy bc you get all the passionate,sizzling lover traits AND you're able to talk yourself down from crazytown spirals.
Was thinking this very same thing today. BPDers do have passionate, sizzling lover traits. That's the part of me that I've chosen to keep. As long as I talk myself down from those crazytown spirals I'm a fabulous wife, friend, mother, etc. Intense, fun, full of life and passion. Free and alive!!
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post #85 of 218 (permalink) Old 11-28-2012, 04:08 PM Thread Starter
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Re: Are you down with the BPD?

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and swimming naked in a public fountain while manic is always a blast
Glad I don't have to worry about that......


My little brother died on April 18, 2015 after losing the fight to cancer. Please help me be able to bury him. My parents do not have the means to do so. http://www.gofundme.com/sd4ch9bk
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post #86 of 218 (permalink) Old 11-28-2012, 04:17 PM
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Re: Are you down with the BPD?

My relationship with a BPD was the best and worst relationship I've ever had. She was amazing in every way, but when I got close, she seemed to get distant. When I tried to help for our mutual benefit, I was "controlling". I tolerated her moods and jabs because quite simply, I loved being around her... and I became quite good at talking down her up and down episodes. I thought it made me the perfect guy for her. But I always felt insecure... knowing she needed gobs of attention and every guy she met was a potential threat. I became paranoid, with reason... eventually confirming her cheating.

My own problems made things worse of course.

Oh man if I could just relive the fist couple months for the rest of the my life though... I've never fallen so hard for someone.
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post #87 of 218 (permalink) Old 11-28-2012, 04:23 PM Thread Starter
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Re: Are you down with the BPD?

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My relationship with a BPD was the best and worst relationship I've ever had. She was amazing in every way, but when I got close, she seemed to get distant. When I tried to help for our mutual benefit, I was "controlling". I tolerated her moods and jabs because quite simply, I loved being around her... and I became quite good at talking down her up and down episodes. I thought it made me the perfect guy for her. But I always felt insecure... knowing she needed gobs of attention and every guy she met was a potential threat. I became paranoid, with reason... eventually confirming her cheating.

My own problems made things worse of course.

Oh man if I could just relive the fist couple months for the rest of the my life though... I've never fallen so hard for someone.
That "mirroring" thing we can do is amazing and yet it isn't a good thing.

My little brother died on April 18, 2015 after losing the fight to cancer. Please help me be able to bury him. My parents do not have the means to do so. http://www.gofundme.com/sd4ch9bk
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post #88 of 218 (permalink) Old 11-28-2012, 04:23 PM
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Re: Are you down with the BPD?

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and swimming naked in a public fountain while manic is always a blast
hahaha, my x gf stripped down naked in the passenger seat after one night out. That was interesting.

The days she would slept till 3pm, lie about hanging out with other guys while I was working, or getting with other people when we took "timeouts", or hit or cursed me, not so much.

But wow could she be awesome.
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post #89 of 218 (permalink) Old 11-28-2012, 04:28 PM
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Re: Are you down with the BPD?

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Oh man if I could just relive the fist couple months for the rest of the my life though... I've never fallen so hard for someone.

But wow could she be awesome.
See THIS is what I see in myself now. BPD'ers are quite charming, fun and full of crazy passion. Once I learned how to weed out the bad stuff and just keep my fun side I'm awesome too. I know EXACTLY what you are talking about. I'm still crazy but now in a good way...a fun way.

Been married 21 years and I'm back to the free spirit I was when I first started dating my husband. I just had to get back in touch with her. My husband can't get enough of me now.
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post #90 of 218 (permalink) Old 11-28-2012, 04:31 PM
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Re: Are you down with the BPD?

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That "mirroring" thing we can do is amazing and yet it isn't a good thing.
Yep. Now factor in my being a narcissist and trust me... it eventually deteriorates into a giant chess match of manipulation.

I've since learned that narcissists and borderlines are like matter and anti-matter irresistably drawn to each other with devastating effects.

I made the mistake of thinking I could manage her or provide balance with my heavy rational thinking and lack of emotional swings. I could be her knight in shining armor and help her be the awesome person and avoid the self-destructive one. I came up short. The closer you get, the more you get pushed away. The closer you are to leaving, the more you're pulled back in. "I hate you, don't leave me" ... I didn't get it when my therapist recommended the book... I totally get it now. Unfortunately with a host of other things I'd rather not have learned about first hand, like mirroring and projection.

Worst thing is that BPD is contagious. After awhile, I could see myself exhibiting her behaviors... and I'd wonder later why I did that.

She ate my lunch, but my ego didn't allow it for very long. My only vindication is that she's chewing the new guy up. And yet I still miss her. lol

Last edited by DvlsAdvc8; 12-05-2012 at 09:06 AM.
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