Are you down with the BPD? - Talk About Marriage
Physical & Mental Health Issues Marriage and relationships are difficult by themselves, but coping with physical or mental health problems can make things even more difficult.

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post #1 of 218 (permalink) Old 11-14-2012, 07:03 AM Thread Starter
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Are you down with the BPD?

While the title is tongue in cheek, it seems there is a BPD phenomenon running rampant on this forum. Another poster and I spoke on the phone about this. While I have no doubt as to BPD being prevalent, it seems it is now the "en vogue" thing now.

So many people on here are so quick to diagnose their spouses with something to explain away irrational behavior. IMO, some people are just screwed up and by trying to label them with something you are trying to justify their bad behavior.

I suppose thinking your spouse has a personality disorder might help in some way but, ultimately the decision to stay and deal with such a person is up to you. Most BPD'ers will never seek the help they need nor will they ever be cured.

Not really expecting many responses on this post, just something that has been on my mind for awhile.


My little brother died on April 18, 2015 after losing the fight to cancer. Please help me be able to bury him. My parents do not have the means to do so. http://www.gofundme.com/sd4ch9bk
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post #2 of 218 (permalink) Old 11-14-2012, 07:11 AM Thread Starter
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Re: Are you down with the BPD?

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You are so off base but that's OK. BPD has gotten a bad name in the media. How many people with BPD do you know?
Me for one.

My little brother died on April 18, 2015 after losing the fight to cancer. Please help me be able to bury him. My parents do not have the means to do so. http://www.gofundme.com/sd4ch9bk
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post #3 of 218 (permalink) Old 11-14-2012, 07:17 AM Thread Starter
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Re: Are you down with the BPD?

While I thank you for your response, I have a firm grasp of my disorder.

My little brother died on April 18, 2015 after losing the fight to cancer. Please help me be able to bury him. My parents do not have the means to do so. http://www.gofundme.com/sd4ch9bk
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post #4 of 218 (permalink) Old 11-14-2012, 07:28 AM
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Re: Are you down with the BPD?

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Originally Posted by pidge70 View Post
So many people on here are so quick to diagnose their spouses with something to explain away irrational behavior. IMO, some people are just screwed up and by trying to label them with something you are trying to justify their bad behavior.
I've noticed this as well, and I went down that path with my W. I still think there is a possibility that she's a high-functioning BPD, but I'll never know. Maybe it doesn't really matter, b/c she has a number of issues, and all I can do is work on how I interact with her. That would include laying down rock solid boundaries, and knowing when it's time to end this.

Pidge, thanks for sharing your knowledge here.
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post #5 of 218 (permalink) Old 11-14-2012, 07:33 AM
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An MRI study doesn't provide any conclusive evidence that BPD could be a biologically based disorder rather than a personality disorder.

Personally, while I have no doubt about the existence of the personality disorder, I agree with pidge and generally think it's become a convenient and trendy catch-all to justify adult erratic a$$holes, much like the all-pervasive ADHD for kids. Great strides have definitely been made in learning more about the actual disorder and the options for treatment are growing all the time, which is great. I just find it odd that so many people are getting "diagnosed" with a disorder that apparently most therapists and doctors won't tell their patients they have???
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post #6 of 218 (permalink) Old 11-14-2012, 08:46 AM
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Re: Are you down with the BPD?

To be diagnosed by medical professionals, not Forum Members or husbands and wives...or your own self! JMO.
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post #7 of 218 (permalink) Old 11-14-2012, 08:59 AM Thread Starter
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Re: Are you down with the BPD?

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To be diagnosed by medical professionals, not Forum Members or husbands and wives...or your own self! JMO.
I agree with this for the most part. The posters I am aware of have not tried to diagnose just give an awareness of what could be the problem. Everyone exhibits BPD traits at one point or another. Whether or not they are at a diagnostic level though can only be determined by a professional.

FTR, I did NOT diagnose myself. I was diagnosed 7yrs ago by a psychiatrist after his observation of me and my taking the MMPI and the MMPI II.

My little brother died on April 18, 2015 after losing the fight to cancer. Please help me be able to bury him. My parents do not have the means to do so. http://www.gofundme.com/sd4ch9bk
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post #8 of 218 (permalink) Old 11-14-2012, 09:03 AM Thread Starter
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Re: Are you down with the BPD?

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The "don't tell the borderline" thinking is changing. For one, in the DSM 5 the disorder will probably be move from Axis II to Axis I which infers it's treatable. But no matter what Axis it's on, it's treatable. Hard to treat but can be done.
Treat being the operative word. There is no cure.

My little brother died on April 18, 2015 after losing the fight to cancer. Please help me be able to bury him. My parents do not have the means to do so. http://www.gofundme.com/sd4ch9bk
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post #9 of 218 (permalink) Old 11-14-2012, 09:06 AM
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Re: Are you down with the BPD?

Yeah you know me

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post #10 of 218 (permalink) Old 11-14-2012, 09:08 AM
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Re: Are you down with the BPD?

I think many posters here get BPD mixed up with CBS (crazy b!tch syndrome)


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post #11 of 218 (permalink) Old 11-14-2012, 09:08 AM Thread Starter
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Re: Are you down with the BPD?

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Yeah you know me
Say what?

My little brother died on April 18, 2015 after losing the fight to cancer. Please help me be able to bury him. My parents do not have the means to do so. http://www.gofundme.com/sd4ch9bk
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post #12 of 218 (permalink) Old 11-14-2012, 09:09 AM Thread Starter
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Re: Are you down with the BPD?

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Originally Posted by Almostrecovered View Post
I think many posters here get BPD mixed up with CBS (crazy b!tch syndrome)
I should probably be offended but, I'm not.

My little brother died on April 18, 2015 after losing the fight to cancer. Please help me be able to bury him. My parents do not have the means to do so. http://www.gofundme.com/sd4ch9bk
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post #13 of 218 (permalink) Old 11-14-2012, 09:09 AM
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Re: Are you down with the BPD?

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Say what?
thought the title was a parody of the song "You down with OPP?"

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post #14 of 218 (permalink) Old 11-14-2012, 09:12 AM Thread Starter
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Re: Are you down with the BPD?

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thought the title was a parody of the song "You down with OPP?"
Duh on me.....lol I blame missing that on the brain surgery. You are in fact correct as that is where I got the title idea. I didn't realize you were a Naughty by Nature fan.

My little brother died on April 18, 2015 after losing the fight to cancer. Please help me be able to bury him. My parents do not have the means to do so. http://www.gofundme.com/sd4ch9bk
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post #15 of 218 (permalink) Old 11-14-2012, 09:16 AM Thread Starter
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Re: Are you down with the BPD?

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BPD isnít a straight forward diagnosis; there are many factors involved. One doesnít go from having the disorder to healing easily. Many years of pathological living creates someone whoís self-destructive. IMO not everything about BPD is bad. Those who have this disorder can be creative, intelligent, witty and kind. Itís the loneliness, impulsiveness and past traumas that make dealing with the disorder difficult.
I am aware of this. One of the great things about being a "self aware" BPD'er is indeed my awareness.

My little brother died on April 18, 2015 after losing the fight to cancer. Please help me be able to bury him. My parents do not have the means to do so. http://www.gofundme.com/sd4ch9bk
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