For the spouses of the ones with issues: if you had known that you would be struggling with their mental health problems, would you have gotten married?
She was suicidal institutionalized self harming cutting anorexia bulimia when I met her.
I never realized just what I was dealing with or would be dealing with and thought 'love would conquer all'
I've had 15 years 11 yrs married of mainly borderline some bi polar some narcissm.
She's been in therapy for some on medication for 80% of the time
Through my love and support there have been great times wwo wonderful kids but now we are divorcing ( huge serial adultery over 7/8 years continual deceit in so many many even small things massive resentment from her about things she's invented in order to justify her behavior etc etc (my original thread is far too long).
Now upon reflection and as clear as day, the only reason there have been great times and any stability in the relationship is due my unending love support and care - all coming from me.
When I look at who got what from the whole time together I got very little in return for giving giving and giving more and more and more. A life of walking on eggshells.
People with strong afflictions to these disorders never heal, ever, and can ultimately never change.
And for me when the afflicted and their close friends and family can sit around and use the affliction as an excuse forever that's when it's time to get out
Personalty disorders only get the afflicted to a mental 'place' they don't make them choose the next option - that's entirely a free thinking un afflicted action and so the excuses for me anyway are just empty.
I wish I could have encountered the information about these disorders we now have 15 years ago. Had I known even 10% of what was to come I'd have been out the door in ten minutes flat