How does she deny it? Saying she isn't sick or not bipolar? How does she explain her medication and what the Drs tell her? The first step is accepting the illness and then researching it (her, not you. You clearly know your stuff).
She says she is not sick, that she is a victim of "racism, sexism, and jealousy". Even so, she takes her medication. It helps she has a seizure disorder (long stable) and one of her meds covers that as well. She is still on Trilafon, which she had been on early in adulthood, so she accepts that medication as a matter of habit. Last, she understands that if she is not on medication, that I will leave, and she says she doesn't want that.
I'm so sorry you guys are going through this. I don't know if you pray so don't be offended if not, but I will keep you and your family in my prayers.
I do pray, and I am thankful for your prayers.
I am that wife. I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder w/psychosis, anxiety, and borderline personality disorder 20 years after we got married. Unfortunately, neither one of us knew the full extent of my illness. Fortunately we do not have any children, but the illness has taken a huge toll on both of us.
Things didn't really turn around until I landed in the hospital's psychiatric ward in 2012....I drove myself there because I feared for my own safety and was very delusional. They put me on the right med combination, gave me the right diagnosis, and recommended that I look into DBT group therapy along with individual therapy as well as p-doc visits. I decided to do whatever it took to feel better for myself and our relationship.
When I started DBT group and therapy, it helped me to take responsibility for managing my own illness. If you haven't heard of DBT it's a system of learning how to use specific tools and strategies to handle every situation. It is the ONLY thing that has made a difference in all my 20+ years of regular therapy. Nothing else ever helped.
I just wanted to let you know that things did eventually get better between us. Not saying you should wait around for the next 40 years to see improvements with your wife because ultimately that is your decision. Just know that in our case things turned around and started moving in the right direction again.
There is so much more I could add, but the details are irrelevant. I'm just so thankful my husband loved me and had patience with me....without that things could have turned out much differently.
I hope this helps, God bless.
Thank you for your comment. I had to look up DBT. It seems interesting. I'll mention this to her P-doc at the next visit.
Just so I don't make it appear that every day is gloom and doom, we do have our good days. She is a very loyal wife. I know with bipolar disease involved people often seek others for sex and companionship, but my wife has been extremely loyal to her whole family and to me. It's just that "space alien" inside her that is eating her soul up, that is bothersome to us all.
Then there are the days when she
--misplaces everything and it's all the fault of people sneaking into the house--she once changed all the locks on our house while I was at work because of this!
--Or the begging for an extra $60 or $100, or $200 because she spent all her allowance on things other than her bills, and she needs to be bailed out. My answer most of the time nowadays is "no" as I don't want to enable her.
--Forgetting that she's got food on the stove, and burning it.
--Misinterpreting what my son and me tell her.