Need some help coping with "bipolar" wife - Page 5 - Talk About Marriage
Physical & Mental Health Issues Marriage and relationships are difficult by themselves, but coping with physical or mental health problems can make things even more difficult.

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post #61 of 74 (permalink) Old 08-16-2015, 11:55 PM
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Re: Need some help coping with "bipolar" wife

Anonfrank - I am so very sorry that things have not improved for you. May I suggest another strategy? Would you consider ECT as a last resort? You might want to go to the Mayo Clinic website to read up on its ECT practice. I recently looked at it and was favorably impressed. If the Mayo Clinic can talk favorably about this treatment regimen, perhaps it can be an option for you to consider.

Good luck, my friend.

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post #62 of 74 (permalink) Old 08-17-2015, 05:02 PM
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Re: Need some help coping with "bipolar" wife

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It's really sad when your spouse's mom tells you that she can't stand being around her own daughter and asks you how you deal with it.

My MIL actually told me this the other day and thanked me for taking care of her. (Ie thanks for not making her live under her mom's roof so she would have to deal with the crazy b!tch who stole my wife!) So sad.....the worst part is that there's nothing any of us, even a psychiatrist, can do for her.

There are days I wish that we could just institutionalize her for prolonged treatment, as was possible in the 50's and 60's, but now all the institutions are closed.

Still too many days when she is batsh!t crazy even with current meds. She has 2-3 lucid days a week, though, so at least the meds allow that. IC helps me to deal...
Sorry to hear things have only mildly improved for your situation. Reading it with a fair amount of empathy. Couldn't help but consider the length of the scenario and the most likely toll it will have on the young-ins....Maybe you would be in a better position to help her but transitioning into a friend role, instead of a husband....if she is semi-functional can she live in an apartment on her own? The kids and you can live wherever and strive for normalcy, of course on her best days that's the time to capitalize on visitation for them with her.

Get her to file for disability to help with the costs and allow yourself to live again - it is maybe more important now that your kids see a normal relationship as well before they get into some of their own having seen only dysfunctional.

I am not dealing with anything on this level but when the doctors started playing with my wife's meds she got extremely b@t$hit crazy and it scared me for my daughter who has now started repeating things mommy has said about how she feels because I think she craves the attention.....you're not a failure as a husband or man to think of yourself and your kids and you aren't abandoning her you are simply looking for the most optimal scenario to take care of everyone including yourself....my two cents...
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post #63 of 74 (permalink) Old 08-19-2015, 01:32 AM
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Re: Need some help coping with "bipolar" wife

I have bipolar disorder and am stable on meds and also i do not work. With bipolar disorder there is a 90% divorce rate. If my illness ever got to the point where i didn't respond to meds i wouldn't expect my husband to stay with me. I couldn't do that to him. I think you should leave.
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post #64 of 74 (permalink) Old 10-29-2015, 11:45 PM
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Re: Need some help coping with "bipolar" wife

Anonfrank - How are you doing?
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post #65 of 74 (permalink) Old 11-02-2015, 03:05 PM
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Re: Need some help coping with "bipolar" wife

I am just now seeing as I am new to the forum but I see that you are still actively posting, it takes a lot of courage to go thru your situation, and I am glad that you are standing by her side. Two things, there are still mental facilities that can help her, what happens when the doctor tries to tell her that she is bi-polar? Have you taken her to another doc to confirm cause I almost wanna believe the hospitals original diagnosis this seems like it is more than bi-polar. Also the student loans, you can submit a request yourself without her involvement, my hubby and I are low income and every year I go on there and do it for both of us, you just need to know her information to do it. You can try to get her a zero repayment plan because she is out of work and after 30 years it will be excused if you can't get her to sign off on the disability but if you do it online you shouldn't need her signature.

Sounds like she needs an intervention, you need to get the whole family together minus your son (get a babysitter for him) and sit her down and MAKE her open her eyes, she is never going to get better if she doesn't admit that she has a problem. You can put her on all the medicine in the world and if she doesn't know she has a problem it will not help her, for her sake I would steer clear of lithium that sh!t has so many side effects that last long after you stop taking it. If you can get her to apply for disability she can get all kinds of help. Good Luck..
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post #66 of 74 (permalink) Old 05-29-2016, 11:46 PM
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Re: Need some help coping with "bipolar" wife

@Uptown

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post #67 of 74 (permalink) Old 05-30-2016, 01:52 AM Thread Starter
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Re: Need some help coping with "bipolar" wife

^^^^^
I asked about borderline at my many opinions. So far, all the Pdocs including mood disorder expert I've had wife to see lately are saying "no". Doesn't matter, meds don't seem to be making a diff still.
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post #68 of 74 (permalink) Old 05-30-2016, 07:33 AM
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Re: Need some help coping with "bipolar" wife

If it were me I would move on.

Your son is witnessing this dysfunction, no? Not just hers, but the one you share, right?

So sad, brother. You all have my sympathies and my prayers.



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post #69 of 74 (permalink) Old 05-30-2016, 07:43 AM
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Re: Need some help coping with "bipolar" wife

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@farsidejunky, thanks for the alert. Actually, Frank and I discussed the possibility of BPD over a year ago, starting with post #30 above. We both considered it extremely unlikely because his W had been symptom free for many years. Her paranoia and other behavioral symptoms apparently started only after she had undergone chemotherapy for cancer.
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post #70 of 74 (permalink) Old 05-30-2016, 08:05 AM
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Re: Need some help coping with "bipolar" wife

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@farsidejunky, thanks for the alert. Actually, Frank and I discussed the possibility of BPD over a year ago, starting with post #30 above. We both considered it extremely unlikely because his W had been symptom free for many years. Her paranoia and other behavioral symptoms apparently started only after she had undergone chemotherapy for cancer.
I did a quick scan for posts from you and I must have missed it.

...turning the Batman spotlight off now and returning to regular activities...lol

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post #71 of 74 (permalink) Old 06-07-2016, 01:57 AM
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Re: Need some help coping with "bipolar" wife

Sorry for you. Take her to some counselling sessions.
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post #72 of 74 (permalink) Old 06-08-2016, 07:50 PM
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Re: Need some help coping with "bipolar" wife

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^^^^^
I asked about borderline at my many opinions. So far, all the Pdocs including mood disorder expert I've had wife to see lately are saying "no". Doesn't matter, meds don't seem to be making a diff still.
@anonfrank - What has the mood disorder doc recommended?

Was the lithium any better than what she was taking before?
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post #73 of 74 (permalink) Old 06-30-2016, 09:59 PM
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Re: Need some help coping with "bipolar" wife

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post #74 of 74 (permalink) Old 08-09-2016, 02:50 PM
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Re: Need some help coping with "bipolar" wife

I will be real my man. You have to kill all hope and deal with what you have. There is nothing that you will be able to do to change her. I have been in your shoes for quite some time with 2 kids and it doesn't and will not get easier. I had to drill that in my head so I can stop with the hope she comes back crap and deal with what's left of her now. Still not pleasant but I am done hoping.

You will only find peace outside of the house. Just talking to another woman will give you an idea of how bad things are. I too take care of the kids and trust me when I tell you that you child knows something is off with mommy.

If you don't find happiness from time to time, you will end up just like her. Never stop showing your child love. I get criticized for spoiling my kids. Im like if I don't do, it wont get done and they will grow up just like mommy.

I am not apologizing if I offend anyone. You guys should be the one apologizing to the carers........
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