07-06-2013, 11:38 PM
Join Date: Feb 2013
| | Is it me?
I've been married for over a year. But it's occurred to me that I live in a romance-less marriage. And he doesn't care.
To make the plot short, he is on his iPad or iPhone when he is at home, never paying attention to me. We haven't made love in over four months (not even on our anniversary.) Whenever I ask for intimacy, he isn't feeling well or he changes the subject. I miss him. I have become very depressed because our love isn't there. Occasionally he will come around again for a day or two and then his face is buried in the latest app again.
I haven't seen a therapist or a doctor, though I know I need to in order for things to be better as far as depression goes. But is it me or is it him? If it's him that needs to change, why should I take Prozac or whatever? But sadly I already know this answer. Yes, it is him, but no, he will never change.
So I'm faced with a decision, to stay and suffer or leave? And I have read several posts on this site to know what people will reply. Some people will share my experience and tell me it will be better or give me their advice. Or worse, the harpies who know everything will tell me to suck it up (which has happened in the past, as sad as it is.). But the thing is, I can't leave. I don't want to quit on this so early in the "game". Yet i know he will never go to counseling or want to improve our relationship for longer than a week. But I know I won't be happy if I stay. I will never have an affair, so don't assume I'll go down that road.
I just want to know, is it just me? Do other people feel this way? How are you coping? Does therapy actually work? How can I possibly fill the emptiness I feel?
And know-it-all harpies, please refrain from replying.