wife suffering from anxiety and walking away
I'm a new member in some need of advice, I'm 34 years old wife is 35 we been married for 11 years and been together for almost 14, all these years we loved each other and cared for one another we were best friends and spent almost all of our free time together, we have no kids and through all these years we worked hard together to try to get ahead, but things were kind of hard financially it seemed like we were stuck, last year we got a big break we sold some land that we owned in our native country and we were able to finally afford to buy a house and things were looking up financially, but that's when the problems started, My wife started complaining about everything I did and say, to me she just didn't make any sense, then I started reading TAM and all things pointed to a midlife crises.
We went to Marriage counseling and individual therapy which helped me better myself, but her case was the total opposite, she would complain about things I did like not helping in the kitchen something that for years she was very proud of doing herself and small stuff, but the moment I would complain about anything she was furious and would make tons of excuses for everything, not take any responsibility and exaggerated lots of things that I did, I tried to show her that things were not as bad as she thought but it was pointless, then she started having panic attacks that's when she came to accept that maybe it was her that was having problems
In December she was given Prozac(with another name) by a psychiatrist he said she was suffering from anxiety, the difference was unbelievable it was like my wife woke up from a long sleep, she was a different person right after taking the medicine , unfortunately she couldn't handle the side effects and was given another medicine similar to it, but even though it wasn't the same, she wasn't as bad. things looked ok for about 3 months and then everyone we know started getting pregnant and we said it is time for us to have a baby, she had to stop the medicine to get pregnant , but she went right back to doing nothing around the house and playing stupid games on her cell phone 15 hours a day on weekends and 6-7 hours a night after work, having a serious conversation with her about anything is impossible now, it got to the point it was wearing me out, I started looking at her differently, but I was able to put up a front, like everything was fine and I thought by giving her space and letting her play her stupid game all those hours she would eventually snap out of it but she didn't.
About a month ago we had a great weekend but I come home on Monday, it was her day off and I find her sad and almost crying, I asked what's wrong and she showed me her horoscope and it said something about her needing to find herself and needing to look out for her happiness, YES she wanted the divorce again and this time it wasn't because of me but it was because her horoscope told her to find herself, I'm leaving a lot of stuff out because I don't want to make my story too long, but now she is basically a walk away wife, she makes no sense she wants to cuddle have sex and have a normal life, like we always did and wants us to be like a loving couple but she is leaving in about 1 months, she wants to move back to her mom's house has no plans for her future, doesn't care about the cars the house or anything she just wants to go, There is no cheating or emotional affair involved, I have checked and I'm confident she is not cheating in any way.
This last weekend I started ignoring her and not playing her games anymore, I told her she can leave whenever she wants to and I have no physical contact with her no kissing, hugging or anything even though she tries I ignore her, we are still cordial to each other and we don't fight at all, but I just had enough she needs help but will not do anything to help herself, she refuses to start taking meds again, so I'm to the point were I think the only way she will appreciate the life she has is if she goes to her mom's house and learns what life is like when you are by yourself and starting from the beginning without me or our dog who is our adoration, in about 2 weeks she has to put her 2 weeks notice at her job where she has been working for about 7 years, so things are serious, her sister thinks she is crazy and she is on my side and she tells me that she talks about leaving as if someone is forcing her to do it and how this is so hard for her but it's something she has to do, I am at the end of my rope with her, I still love her she still loves me(she acts like it most of the time) but, I don't know what else to do.
In the past year I have been through a roller-coaster of emotions, I had them all, Angry, Sad, Depress, Happy, Pity, Self Pity, so I'm just tired of it, I would like her to get her act together , I'm more than willing to work with her but I see no indication that she is planning to do it.
Last edited by Anonymous2013; 07-16-2013 at 09:24 PM.