ebp123

My father-in-law is retired. Most days, he sits watching Fox News and getting himself totally worked up over what he hears. He doesn't seem to get that the level of editorializing on that network is designed to drive up your emotions so you keep watching.

Anyway, he brings up things when he visits or when we visit them that make me and my husband uncomfortable. "Obama just wants me to go off someplace and die." "I'm tired of gays trying to push their lifestyle on us."

We've already had the talk about please don't bring up politics (I'm a Democrat and my husband, his son, is an Independent). But my FIL just can't stop himself. It's too the point now where my husband completely withdraws when his parents come to visit. He doesn't talk, he barely plays with our kids, etc. After this last visit, I noticed that as soon as his parents left, he relaxed. He started talking again. That's when he admitted to me that he's afraid of something "hitting the fan" when they are here. He's also embarrassed by his father's beliefs. He's very right wing and very angry without regard for either logic or compassion for anyone. He stereotypes people that are different from him, and it's always a negative view.

What do we do? My husband doesn't want to do anything, but how can we continue to be like this? We see his parents about once a month, they totally love our kids.

MrP.Bodybig

Just try to keep things on a neutral ground. When your FIL speaks about politics nod your head and say something nice. As long as he isn't pushing his political views on your kids then let him ramble. But if he is pushing it on your kids, tell him that the visits will have to come to a stop or be few and far between and your husband? Tell him to grow a hair purse and man up.

artieb

Ask him if he's upset that Fox News is owned in part by Saudi Arabia. "You know, once the Saudis bought part ownership of Fox News, they stopped reporting on some of the things that happen over there. I guess the new bosses didn't like it. But I was sure that you of all people would refuse to watch news controlled by a foreign country."

Here's a link you can print out:
Saudi Billionaire Boasts of Manipulating Fox News Coverage

At least NPR is American owned.

DowninWash

Tell hime to not talk politics while he is at your house. My FIL and I always but heads and I think we both like arguing. He's ultra conservative and Im a Libertarian. My wife gets fed up with it and tells of both to shut up. But then we start talking guns for the rest of the night and everyone is happy.
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Freak On a Leash

So you have Archie Bunker for a FIL, eh? That must be fun. I always loved that show but "Meathead" would always come back at Archie and you can tell the old man just loved it. Plus it made for good television.

Seriously, it's YOUR house and you are within your rights to either tell him straight out that you don't feel comfortable discussing politics (or religion or anything that's sensitive in nature) and switch the subject. If he keeps it up he's being disrespectful and rude but well, that's often done among relatives.

IMO if he's ignoring your request of "No politics" then you'll have to ignore him. Don't answer him, don't rise to the bait. I'd just get up and walk out of the room or change the subject.

"I hate Obama"

"So how about those Yankees?" (or Red Sox or whatever..)

After awhile, when he realizes that no one is going to address his initial statement or he isn't getting a rise out of anyone he'll stop. (hopefully). He might be doing this to stir things up and cause some excitement so don't give him any.

I've been in this situation myself. I have friends who have certain, diametrically opposed viewpoints to current issues. They'll say something about health care or taxes or whatever and to be honest, I'd just as soon not get into it. So I'll just smile and say something like "Weather is nice lately" or "I'm going to see a concert next Saturday, what do you think of this band?" Or say something really inane and stupid. Eventually they get it.

HopeinHouston

I'm in a similar situation, but not so much politically (although that plays into it too) but moreso that my in-laws are all extremely racist and my wife and I are very much not so - to the point that we tell our kids that our first goal for them in their future marriages is that they marry good, loving and godly people; but secondarily we hope one of them at least winds up marrying someone of another race just to force my wife's family to confront and deal with their ignorance.

But we have made it clear that talk of that nature is not ever welcome in our house or around our kids. If or when it appears either we leave (if not at our house) or the offender is politely asked to stop or leave, and after the first time they are sent packing.

It's no longer an issue as people know to watch what they say or talk about when we are around.