Parrothead

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RoseRed

I did read the article, thanks for sharing the link. This topic was covered extensively in my recent Business Ethics class and how the younger generation is coming into the work force with a very grey interpretation of what morals are. As the article states, this is routed in parental negligence. Without a solid foundation of morals, values and ethics through the formative childhood years, young people are left to a 'dog eat dog' mentality and are vastiy oversensitive to the inequalities to the reality of life.

A democratic government has no right the legislate a "belief system'. All laws are based upon a mutally agreed upon moral based upon a belief system. It is, as it should be, the responsibility of the parents to teach a moral code... no matter the religious background. Not surprizingly, the fundamental moral code is fairly consistant across all religious realms. The prevailant pyschology of 'there are no winners or losers' in children's sports, the 'friend' parent, absence of self-discipline created by the parental lack of follow through with action vs. consequences has lead children astray. The ' what do you feel' about a moral dilemma has no childhood developed foundation to base an answer, hence the inability to answer the question.

I have noticed that the young generation has come into the workforce with a highly imaginative and creative mind. The concepts they provide have great value to many modern crisis and really do 'think outside of the box' all born from the "free-thought, inquisitive, questioning" mind. This issue at hand is that the shift from the negation of the moral code of a belief system within the family unit to drastically swing to utmost secular undirective society. The imbalance will have concesquences in itself and a matter of time to see the outcome. A free-thinking, creative, imaginative mind can co-exist well within a religious mind. Even within the Judeo-Christian doctrine, God does insist that man must never "check his brain at the door'...

Parrothead

You are quite right, although as I have been known to say; "You can't break the rules if you don't know what they are".

The difference between genius and insanity, the difference between scribbling and art, and the difference between noise and music is the knowledge of what the rules are and how to use them, not ignoring them entirely and hoping for the best.

SimplyAmorous

There is no "whatever" in my world of parenting. I am however very OPEN with my kids, we talk about it all, I do not sheild their eyes from the consequences of life, everthing that is seen on the news, an example could be learned from it. I want them to KNOW every ACTION they choose - will have a good reacton or a possible BAD reaction and /or consequence to it. I do not want them to be niave in any way. They understand why we are this way, why we teach a certain way of living...
It is FOR them, for their future husbands & wives , for their future children, for thier happiness & well being, to leave a good legacy.

A few examples:

They are taught ...If they want to smoke, they will not have as much $$ in their pockets, their teeth will stain, they will stink, it causes emphasea & lung cancer to boot, they will die younger and likely wrinkle quicker. As you can imagine, this has never had an allure for them.

They are taught... If they have casual sex, they are likely to get hurt emotionally, hurt another emotionally, feel used later- cheapend somehow, open themselves up to an STD that may last a lifetime, possible AIDS, unwanted pregnancy that could WRECK their future happiness. Sex is a highly responsible act and needs to be treated as such. Then the governement is picking up the tab of all of this, children born to different fathers, growing up without fathers, etc. Very very sad and a destruction to our society.

The are taught....if they LIE and cheat and end up in jail and they are guilty, they will remain there. I will only bail them out if they was wrongly accused. Their past behavior usually speaks something of what they found themselves into.

I teach them the company and character of their FRIENDS is a great reflection on who they are. So far so good ... they have chosen good friends to bring home, hang out with, not
trouble makers who are corrupting society, and generally their parents are very respectable.

I will teach my kids to live within thier means, to work hard, to save diligently and never over spend as Debt is like a noose around your neck.

They are taught - if they want to do drugs, this will mess with their mind, their grades, their life, their relationships & mom & Dad may kick them out.

I could go on and on ...just saying, I am not religious, but I have strict rules in my house. I have never had to twist their arms so far to abide by them because they see wisdom in how this all plays out in life and living. SO far so good.


And us parents need to be the BIGGEST example and influence of all ......in how we handle our work ethic, respect to those in authority over us (our Bosses), getting along with co -workers, how we treat our friends, how we handle our marraige, our finances, how we manage our time, setting goals & doing to hard work to achieve them, loving our families , spending time with them, helping those in need. These are what our children will take with them as they grow and become adults.

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Parrothead

I think you missed the point of the article. In all those examples you gave where is there a moral dilemma?

Or does asking a question make me sound like an "unhappy person"?

You see, if you have a moral dilemma vs. an immoral dilemma there is no dilemma, unless you are a psychopath.

Here's a dilemma: do you lie about the female teacher who is molesting you to the police because your friends think it's cool or do you tell them because your mom said that adults shouldn't do that to kids?

SimplyAmorous

Not at all , this never entered my mind.

I will try to answer this question in a way my kids would. 1st all all , they would know that any form or molestation is wrong, and even IF they thought the teacher was HOT, they would still find it wrong, because it has nothing to do with LOVE, commitment and bonding in a healthy relationship. I think they would tell US 1st as to a hitting or something before it got that far. They would know there is something profoundly wrong with that.

We have a Good friend whose brother in law molested 2 of her girls, she trusted him knowing of some things in the past & learned the hard way. I warned her a long time ago NOT to let her girls spend the night at their house, her trusted her sister to know everything going on, it bit her. Her sister divorced the man, he is serving time and now on those sex offender lists. Her daughter drew pictures to desribe her pain, they published a book to help others be aware of this sort of thing , her passion in life is this issue, my kids were at the book signing, these girls are good friends with my boys, so this issue has been talked about more than maybe other couples would with thier children.

It would not be a dilemma for them.

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Runs like Dog

You can't articulate values in the abstract. We've worked very hard to inculcate the boys that the most important act, a duty, is SERVICE to others. A value is something you have to implement and then live by. Not because it's noble or good because it's an OBLIGATION, a responsibility.

We didn't even let our teens work for money. They had to volunteer. We paid them a stipend on the back end to do that.

Spend a year working with old people or in a soup kitchen or with AIDS babies or summer camp orphan kids. Then come back and tell me what you learned about other people and what you can do for them.

RoseRed

A very valid lesson for children to learn! That it is the moral responsibility of a society to serve their community. With my children, though they are begrudging at the start, they do realize, that what they do for the community comes with amazing unexpected rewards for selfless service. The 'good' feeling of giving, the networking with new people and new opportunities, and a greater feeling of self-worth. Everyone has something to share with another.

My oldest son is now able to legally work and he balances school, extracurricular activities, charity work, and paid work very well.. he is finding his direction, discovered his talents and how he is formulating a career path. As he has expressed to me, he will do what he loves, gets paid for it, and it will be of service to the world. He is old enough to understand that charity evolves into the quest for social justice and change.

SimplyAmorous

I also feel getting our kids involved in volunteering is one of the BEST THINGS we can do for them , start them in their teen years, to instill a sense of thankfulness for what they have and see what it may be like on the other side, plus working along side some of the leaders of these programs, seeing their heart for other people. What they see & learn will stay with them a lifetime , even shape who they become many times.

My parents never had me do anything like that growing up, though it would have been good for me.

All my kids have done outside of Church outreach opportunities with their Youth Group is -"the Carpenters Project" -volunteering to help on crews to help lower income or elderly in our area to repairs on their house, etc. Every year they were ABLE to be involved, they wanted involved... brush crew, demolition, painting, they didn't care. One year one of them got really mad at me cause I had a 3 day vacation planned during his Carpenters Project week , he refused to go with us, so I had to change it, or he wasn't going, he informed me he would stay at a friends house.

I think I even got a little irritated with him at the time, complaining about all of their many activities, how is the family suppose to even take a small vacation, too many schedules to work around. But shame on me. My son chose the better path. So now, I make sure to know months in advance when it is -so I won't be interferring with their Carpenters Project week.

Here is a website where people can search for what is available in thier specific area >> VolunteerMatch - Where Volunteering Begins

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nice777guy

There you go. We can preach all we want. But if we don't walk our own talk, our kids will be confused and have to look for the truth on their own.

Parrothead

I am still trying to figure out what any of this has to do with "morality", specifically.

All I am getting from you guys is "we are nice guys because we do what we think nice guys do", which pretty much illustrates the point of the article. There is nothing inherently moral or immoral about making your own rules. Rose was the last one to address the issue at hand.

Other than Rose, is there anyone here who even knows what a "moral dilemma" is???

nice777guy

So - to clarify Part A - 2/3s of the kids basically answered the question wrong.

Its not that they said "Drinking and driving is great"!

They probably - like us - talked about knowing right from wrong.

And - Part B - their answer didn't include a reference to The Bible.

So - a moral dilemma - my boss wants me to work on The Sabbath. If I don't work, I won't be able to give enough money to my Church for their new neon sign and their anti-abortion campaign. What should I do?

So - its not knowing right from wrong - its just about remembering to reference God in your answer.

Am I getting warmer?

SA had already answered the "sex with a teacher" example before you gave it. She explained what they've told their kids about sex. Her answer was more about the damage that kind of relationship can cause - physical and emotional damage. While the "correct" answer, I'm guessing, should have been "The Bible says do not have sex outside of marriage."

SimplyAmorous

Can you throw some of these moral dilemmas out here in a post......and I will do this in addition....I will ask my 2 teen sons what THEY would do in those circumstances and get their reasons to WHY ....and report back here.

Their learning is divided by Youth Group teachings, their friends/their parents examples, Me & Dad of coarse , and what ever other influences they get by Teachers , Coaches, experiences in life.

Here are some examples for teens... Moral Dilemmas for Students

Would like to hear what type of dilemmas you are personally thinking about, or have in mind.

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OhGeesh

All you can do is your best and that's it!! Look around often how kids turn out makes absolutely no sense when you look at their upbringing.

I'm sure we've all seen that in life.

Parrothead

Not even close. It's not about "knowing" right from wrong, it's about defining right and wrong and why it's right or wrong.

Riddle me this: why is it that I, the hated Christian soul on this forum, have no problem with SA and her hubby viewing porn and the moral relativists, who can rarely agree on anything "moral", have a problem with what two consenting adults do in the privacy of their own bedroom, i.e., viewing porn?

In order to answer you have to know the difference between porn and art, for one thing.

For another, I laugh at the people who object to SA using porn who will then participate on threads that are so pornographic I can't even view them out of embarassment for the people who are participating - it makes me feel like a voyeur.

Why is that? What's the difference? Some posters on this forum would say it's because of my "religion", which they scornfully dismiss, but they still can't reconcile their own participation in porn with judging SA for viewing it.

How's that for a moral dilemma? The reason I have one reaction and they have another is because they believe what they think is "moral", and they are the arbiters of morality, or because they may have heard someone else say so at on time or another. I, on the other hand, unlike the kids in the survey, know what I believe and why I believe it.

The question before you is, what IS the difference?

As I told her, in every "moral dilemma" there has to be a dilemma, preferably a moral one.