Feminism.... - Page 46
 Talk About Marriage
  The Marriage Advice and Relationship Help Forums
  right
Forums - Online Counseling - For Therapists - Link to Us - Advertise  

    A Public Forum Provided by The Family & Marriage Counseling Directory
Register FAQ Community Search Today's Posts Mark Forums Read

Navigation »Talk About Marriage »Off Topic »Politics and Religion » Feminism....

Politics and Religion This is the place to discuss politics, morality, religion, and anything controversial.

Reply
 
LinkBack Thread Tools Search this Thread
Old 11-06-2011, 10:50 AM   #676 (permalink)
Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2010
Posts: 161
Default Fun with Feminism

Quote:
Originally Posted by Therealbrighteyes View Post
Yes, I have heard of cases where one spouse "covers" the child's medical coverage. I don't consider that child support however. Not sure what I would call that, but it differs from writing a 20% check or whatever the calculation is.

Bottom line, we all know cases where the courts are ridiculous. Lifetime alimony to a woman living with her lover, children being considered dependents well in to adulthood. Those cases do exist. What I am saying is that it is changing. Most states recognize that women work now and can support themselves and that children do benefit from dual parenting. The tide is changing and yes, I firmly believe that the feminist movement played a huge role in this.
What I cannot figure out is those that are so opposed to it. Doesn't feminism benefit men financially? Dual income = more security. Educated women = higher earning power. Divorce = less spousal support if at all. Both parents working = more men get dual custody of the children. I don't get it. I just don't.
All I can say is a 50% divorce rate is not the type of progress I would like to see. Valid points all around on both sides, but I think we'll just have to agree to disagree about certain things.

Conjecture time: Men have their end of it too, but ladies, if you are at a tough spot in your relationship with your husband and you think it's salvageable, forget what I like to call your "busyness" for just a moment. A moment. You've been checking out for awhile. He's been checking out for awhile. The reasons unimportant. Forget about your ex boyfriend for just a second. Forget your morning meeting, that next rung on the ladder, the errands you have to run, your to-do list...and give him a little reach-around. Stroke his ego for a little bit. Let him feel like man. Then come back to the forums and tell us your success story.

Good discussion.
mr.rightaway is offline   Reply With Quote
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
Old 11-06-2011, 11:08 AM   #677 (permalink)
Member
 
Therealbrighteyes's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: Texas
Posts: 6,538
Default Re: Fun with Feminism

Quote:
Originally Posted by mr.rightaway View Post
All I can say is a 50% divorce rate is not the type of progress I would like to see. Valid points all around on both sides, but I think we'll just have to agree to disagree about certain things.

Conjecture time: Men have their end of it too, but ladies, if you are at a tough spot in your relationship with your husband and you think it's salvageable, forget what I like to call your "busyness" for just a moment. A moment. You've been checking out for awhile. He's been checking out for awhile. The reasons unimportant. Forget about your ex boyfriend for just a second. Forget your morning meeting, that next rung on the ladder, the errands you have to run, your to-do list...and give him a little reach-around. Stroke his ego for a little bit. Let him feel like man. Then come back to the forums and tell us your success story.

Good discussion.
Same goes for a husband. Stop putting her as the lowest priority, checking out others in front of her, ignoring her when she talks and act like it would matter to you if she walked out the front door.
Divorce being 50% is not a good thing. Too many people marry thinking eh, if it doesn't work out we can just divorce. If you go in to marriage with that thought process, you'll likely be divorced in short order.
Therealbrighteyes is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-06-2011, 05:00 PM   #678 (permalink)
Member
 
Join Date: May 2011
Location: Western Canada
Posts: 588
Default Re: Feminism....

Quote:
Originally Posted by that_girl View Post
I think adultery should make spousal support non existent. If you cheat, you get nothing.

In any other business, people would be punished for cheating their partner out of money. Well, marriage is a business. Vows are taken. To break the vows, and nothing happens to you...well, it makes the vows cheap to many people.
My mother had a ten year affair, and us kids lived with her for about a year before moving in with pops. Over that year he refused to pay child support because he was morally wronged and didnt agree with the state taking her side. To be honest Im not sure on all the details. All I can tell you is that my father forced me and my older brother to get jobs at the ages of 12 and 14 respectively because when we moved in with him, he was still on the hook for back pay.

Mean while he never saw a dime from her to support us while we lived with him.

This is just one story though, and Im sure someone out there could tell of a different variety where the woman gets royally screwed by the judge. I just hope Biebers baby mama goes to jail for pedophilia, but thats another discussion.
SockPuppet is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-06-2011, 06:39 PM   #679 (permalink)
Member
 
that_girl's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: Wherever I lay my head.
Posts: 9,869
Default Re: Feminism....

Oh my dad was mandated to pay child support after my parents divorced at my age of 2.

He didn't pay a dime (only $100 a month).

Then he divorced my stepmom who had my sisters and owed them $450 a month.

Didn't pay a dime.

He moved to Hawaii so we could not get to him.

My mom and stepmom had the DA on speed dial trying to track him down. He changed jobs every 6 months.

Finally, they wouldn't let him renew his drivers license. He still didn't pay.

When I was 18, and my sisters were 13, he was ordered to court to pay lump sums to my mom and stepmom. The amount was staggering.

But it was all paid. I got a check (I guess because I was 18) that I signed over to my mom. She deserved that money. She had been working 2 jobs since divorcing my stepdad when i was 12 just to put food on the table.

So...the law may have the woman in mind, but that doesn't "make" the man do anything. My dad was a pro at avoiding it until he was threatened with jail time.

He died an honest man. He and I had a good relationship for those two years (I was 28-30...hadn't known him since I was 6ish). We had a lot of good talks and I was able to forgive.
__________________

The tides are turning....
that_girl is online now   Reply With Quote
Old 11-07-2011, 02:11 PM   #680 (permalink)
Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2010
Posts: 1,320
Default Re: Feminism....

Quote:
Originally Posted by Therealbrighteyes View Post
The tide is changing
I think when the laws catch up and the change is actually complete, people will be a lot more accepting about it. In a lot of places, it hasn't really changed yet, and that's where the push back is coming from.
Acorn is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-07-2011, 03:54 PM   #681 (permalink)
Member
 
Runs like Dog's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: Redneckistan
Posts: 7,003
Default Re: Feminism....

Be that as it may. If it were me I'd rather have none of my stuff than any of her. There would not be any price too high to be rid of her.
__________________
Itís the least I can do, and thatís why Iím doing it
Runs like Dog is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-07-2011, 11:23 PM   #682 (permalink)
Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2011
Posts: 194
Default Re: Feminism....

Mr.rightaway you are very brave to write what you did and correct. Wives complain sooooo much now adays about their husbands. I am sooo sick of it. Men deserve so much more praise, respect and admiration from the women in their life than they are getting. They work and fight so long and hard for us women to have a comfortable and luxurious lifestyle. I am pro-man.
annagarret is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-08-2011, 01:06 AM   #683 (permalink)
Banned
 
Join Date: Jul 2011
Posts: 10,120
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by that_girl View Post
I think adultery should make spousal support non existent. If you cheat, you get nothing.

In any other business, people would be punished for cheating their partner out of money. Well, marriage is a business. Vows are taken. To break the vows, and nothing happens to you...well, it makes the vows cheap to many people.
100% agreement. In fact the cheater should be required to pay for a time $$ to the betrayed spouse to make up for their loss in income.
Posted via Mobile Device
Shaggy is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-08-2011, 01:51 AM   #684 (permalink)
Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2010
Posts: 161
Default Re: Feminism....

Quote:
Originally Posted by annagarret View Post
Mr.rightaway you are very brave to write what you did and correct. Wives complain sooooo much now adays about their husbands. I am sooo sick of it. Men deserve so much more praise, respect and admiration from the women in their life than they are getting. They work and fight so long and hard for us women to have a comfortable and luxurious lifestyle. I am pro-man.
Your words are much appreciated, and perhaps too kind. Posting about this on an Internet forum alone doesn't make me brave. I'm not sure what more I can say on the subject as much has been written here. All of the men and women posting here at least have an interest in this incredibly complex issue and I would recommend reading the whole thread. I give credit to all the men posting here, and I must also give credit to IanIronWood for speaking up in the way he did earlier in the thread, as his points are particularly salient and well-researched.
mr.rightaway is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-08-2011, 02:07 AM   #685 (permalink)
Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2010
Posts: 161
Default America In Primetime: Man of the House

Since a marriage forum exists in an Internet media format, I would recommend viewing this PBS piece that "showcases the evolution of men in primetime television." They touch on feminism and a lot of other things. Earlier in this thread we talked about the portrayal of men on television and I think this piece fits here, and the entire story arc of this thread, perfectly.

America in Primetime: Man of the House


Man of the House | America in Primetime | PBS Video
mr.rightaway is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-15-2011, 10:53 PM   #686 (permalink)
Member
 
Join Date: Oct 2011
Posts: 247
Default Re: Feminism....

Quote:
Originally Posted by that_girl View Post
As an educator, I work very hard in letting my boys be boys. They are not girls and I do not treat them as such. Ever wonder why teachers always complain about their male students? It's because they expect those boys to behave like girls! This is nonsense. Boys, more than girls, need to move and explore. I teach 5th grade. We do a lot of activity in this room. My boys and girls are engaged and it's very peaceful in here. The "problem" children (boys that other teachers said were "bad") are actually AWESOME kids!! They talk a lot, and move a lot but they are very well behaved and intelligent.

My girls are a bit more mature than my boys (shocker Lollll) and I give equal amount of attention to them in all subjects. They just don't need as much activity as my boys.

People can jump on me all they want about it, but it works and it's true. I've been doing this for 12 years. In this room, my kids learn and they aren't punished for being curious.
You are so great. I have watched many teachers literally mistreat boys for being boys. The boy is rowdy so what do they do, take away break and then complain about the boy's behavior for the rest of the day. Thank you for letting boys be boys.
LimboGirl is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-15-2011, 11:02 PM   #687 (permalink)
Member
 
that_girl's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: Wherever I lay my head.
Posts: 9,869
Default Re: Feminism....

Quote:
Originally Posted by LimboGirl View Post
You are so great. I have watched many teachers literally mistreat boys for being boys. The boy is rowdy so what do they do, take away break and then complain about the boy's behavior for the rest of the day. Thank you for letting boys be boys.
I know teachers who hold kids in at recess...I'm like, whaaat? LOL Let them go get their wiggles out! And let yourself get your sanity back. LOL I'm not saying they don't drive me crazy (my students), but they're 10. geez.
__________________

The tides are turning....
that_girl is online now   Reply With Quote
Old 11-15-2011, 11:29 PM   #688 (permalink)
Member
 
Join Date: Oct 2011
Posts: 247
Default Re: Feminism....

Quote:
Originally Posted by IanIronwood View Post

Sure, prostitution is a high risk job, granted. There are probably 100,000 full-time prostitutes in the US, according to the data I've seen. There are over 100,000 coal miners in Kentucky alone -- all male.
Where are you getting your figures because there are not 100,000 coal miners in KY. In 2009, there were less than 19000.
LimboGirl is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-17-2011, 11:13 AM   #689 (permalink)
Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2011
Posts: 314
Default Re: Feminism....

Quote:
Originally Posted by Therealbrighteyes View Post
What I cannot figure out is those that are so opposed to it. Doesn't feminism benefit men financially? Dual income = more security. Educated women = higher earning power. Divorce = less spousal support if at all. Both parents working = more men get dual custody of the children. I don't get it. I just don't.
Generality alert: I'm going to make some general statement below that have obvious exceptions. Please be aware that I am aware of the exceptions, but they don't invalidate the overall argument when it comes to society as a whole.

Where does happiness figure into your equation? The natural (whether through long-ingrained social pressures or genetics) state of affairs is for the woman, who has the scarce reproductive resource, to choose the best man she can get, until she stops at a man who is clearly superior to her. But as women get more and more "equal", their chances of finding such a man diminish. And the chances of remaining attracted to their husband if the wife goes back to school and/or furthers her career beyond that of the man also diminishes.

Hence upwardly mobile women = more divorce and/or unhappiness. Also, with women expected to have careers, children are left to be cared for by minimum wage third-world immigrants, because men in general do not forgo their careers, and in general those who do are looked at as inferior over time by their wives.

I'm not saying women should not be allowed to work, I'm not saying men shouldn't be allowed to stay at home. What I'm saying is that women should not be expected/required to work just to make ends not meet. Society would be much better off if instead of turning women into men, feminism had tried to validate the roles that women already played as equally important.
ManDup is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-17-2011, 11:30 AM   #690 (permalink)
Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2011
Posts: 314
Default Re: Feminism....

Quote:
Originally Posted by Therealbrighteyes View Post
26 is ridiculous. I was talking more about my situation. Son in college but living at home. If my husband wanted to bail tomorrow, he would not be legally required to pay a dime towards our son's education and the expense of him living in the home. That to me is totally wrong. I can imagine in many cases, without this additional support, the children lose.
Most states don't believe that college without student loans is some kind of right. Nor do I believe it. I paid my own way and still have student loans from doing so. Why should I put my hard-earned cash into more college for my kids, when I haven't even paid off my own yet? Why should a court mandate that I pay money to my ex so that my kid can go to school? If she believes that kids should go to school and have it paid for, she is free to do so. I don't believe that. I believe that being a "poor college student" builds character.

My ex was never poor even in college, and as such as an adult she was always a spendthrift who burned through a million dollars of my income so that there was nothing left to show for it. Since splitting up I've cleaned up all that debt except the student loan, even though I'm paying her 1500 a month child support, which I have no control over how it is spent.

No way do I support that kind of indentured servitude, and adding to it into the college years is just more of the same, so I still disagree with it. I would have happily given my kid money if it weren't mandated, but forcing me to give it to my cheating ex just burns me up every time I think of it. Which is every month. I never get to see my daughter either, because my ex doesn't enforce the decree. I went to a lawyer who laughed me out of the room because my daughter is too old to be told what to do. So yeah, I'm bitter about the child support laws, and I disagree with extending them beyond 18.
ManDup is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off


Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Feminism: Has it gone too far? Gratitude General Relationship Discussion 255 09-09-2012 06:47 PM
Another Feminism Thread! FirstYearDown General Relationship Discussion 34 01-22-2012 11:42 AM
Awesome podcast on feminism Scannerguard The Ladies' Lounge 114 04-08-2011 02:56 PM

Member Area

Find a Therapist:


Sponsor Ads





Get The Family & Marriage Counseling Directory Help Guide via Email:
Name:
Email:




All times are GMT -5. The time now is 05:45 PM.



Copyright 2007 - 2013 © Talk About Marriage