Be that as it may. Judges are increasingly demanding that the spouse with dependent health care to keep children on the plan until they age out under the law @ age 26.
Yes, I have heard of cases where one spouse "covers" the child's medical coverage. I don't consider that child support however. Not sure what I would call that, but it differs from writing a 20% check or whatever the calculation is.
Bottom line, we all know cases where the courts are ridiculous. Lifetime alimony to a woman living with her lover, children being considered dependents well in to adulthood. Those cases do exist. What I am saying is that it is changing. Most states recognize that women work now and can support themselves and that children do benefit from dual parenting. The tide is changing and yes, I firmly believe that the feminist movement played a huge role in this.
What I cannot figure out is those that are so opposed to it. Doesn't feminism benefit men financially? Dual income = more security. Educated women = higher earning power. Divorce = less spousal support if at all. Both parents working = more men get dual custody of the children. I don't get it. I just don't.
I think adultery should make spousal support non existent. If you cheat, you get nothing.
In any other business, people would be punished for cheating their partner out of money. Well, marriage is a business. Vows are taken. To break the vows, and nothing happens to you...well, it makes the vows cheap to many people.
Yes, I have heard of cases where one spouse "covers" the child's medical coverage. I don't consider that child support however. Not sure what I would call that, but it differs from writing a 20% check or whatever the calculation is.
Bottom line, we all know cases where the courts are ridiculous. Lifetime alimony to a woman living with her lover, children being considered dependents well in to adulthood. Those cases do exist. What I am saying is that it is changing. Most states recognize that women work now and can support themselves and that children do benefit from dual parenting. The tide is changing and yes, I firmly believe that the feminist movement played a huge role in this.
What I cannot figure out is those that are so opposed to it. Doesn't feminism benefit men financially? Dual income = more security. Educated women = higher earning power. Divorce = less spousal support if at all. Both parents working = more men get dual custody of the children. I don't get it. I just don't.
All I can say is a 50% divorce rate is not the type of progress I would like to see. Valid points all around on both sides, but I think we'll just have to agree to disagree about certain things.
Conjecture time: Men have their end of it too, but ladies, if you are at a tough spot in your relationship with your husband and you think it's salvageable, forget what I like to call your "busyness" for just a moment. A moment. You've been checking out for awhile. He's been checking out for awhile. The reasons unimportant. Forget about your ex boyfriend for just a second. Forget your morning meeting, that next rung on the ladder, the errands you have to run, your to-do list...and give him a little reach-around. Stroke his ego for a little bit. Let him feel like man. Then come back to the forums and tell us your success story.
All I can say is a 50% divorce rate is not the type of progress I would like to see. Valid points all around on both sides, but I think we'll just have to agree to disagree about certain things.
Conjecture time: Men have their end of it too, but ladies, if you are at a tough spot in your relationship with your husband and you think it's salvageable, forget what I like to call your "busyness" for just a moment. A moment. You've been checking out for awhile. He's been checking out for awhile. The reasons unimportant. Forget about your ex boyfriend for just a second. Forget your morning meeting, that next rung on the ladder, the errands you have to run, your to-do list...and give him a little reach-around. Stroke his ego for a little bit. Let him feel like man. Then come back to the forums and tell us your success story.
Good discussion.
Same goes for a husband. Stop putting her as the lowest priority, checking out others in front of her, ignoring her when she talks and act like it would matter to you if she walked out the front door.
Divorce being 50% is not a good thing. Too many people marry thinking eh, if it doesn't work out we can just divorce. If you go in to marriage with that thought process, you'll likely be divorced in short order.
I think adultery should make spousal support non existent. If you cheat, you get nothing.
In any other business, people would be punished for cheating their partner out of money. Well, marriage is a business. Vows are taken. To break the vows, and nothing happens to you...well, it makes the vows cheap to many people.
My mother had a ten year affair, and us kids lived with her for about a year before moving in with pops. Over that year he refused to pay child support because he was morally wronged and didnt agree with the state taking her side. To be honest Im not sure on all the details. All I can tell you is that my father forced me and my older brother to get jobs at the ages of 12 and 14 respectively because when we moved in with him, he was still on the hook for back pay.
Mean while he never saw a dime from her to support us while we lived with him.
This is just one story though, and Im sure someone out there could tell of a different variety where the woman gets royally screwed by the judge. I just hope Biebers baby mama goes to jail for pedophilia, but thats another discussion.
Oh my dad was mandated to pay child support after my parents divorced at my age of 2.
He didn't pay a dime (only $100 a month).
Then he divorced my stepmom who had my sisters and owed them $450 a month.
Didn't pay a dime.
He moved to Hawaii so we could not get to him.
My mom and stepmom had the DA on speed dial trying to track him down. He changed jobs every 6 months.
Finally, they wouldn't let him renew his drivers license. He still didn't pay.
When I was 18, and my sisters were 13, he was ordered to court to pay lump sums to my mom and stepmom. The amount was staggering.
But it was all paid. I got a check (I guess because I was 18) that I signed over to my mom. She deserved that money. She had been working 2 jobs since divorcing my stepdad when i was 12 just to put food on the table.
So...the law may have the woman in mind, but that doesn't "make" the man do anything. My dad was a pro at avoiding it until he was threatened with jail time.
He died an honest man. He and I had a good relationship for those two years (I was 28-30...hadn't known him since I was 6ish). We had a lot of good talks and I was able to forgive.
I think when the laws catch up and the change is actually complete, people will be a lot more accepting about it. In a lot of places, it hasn't really changed yet, and that's where the push back is coming from.
Mr.rightaway you are very brave to write what you did and correct. Wives complain sooooo much now adays about their husbands. I am sooo sick of it. Men deserve so much more praise, respect and admiration from the women in their life than they are getting. They work and fight so long and hard for us women to have a comfortable and luxurious lifestyle. I am pro-man.
I think adultery should make spousal support non existent. If you cheat, you get nothing.
In any other business, people would be punished for cheating their partner out of money. Well, marriage is a business. Vows are taken. To break the vows, and nothing happens to you...well, it makes the vows cheap to many people.
100% agreement. In fact the cheater should be required to pay for a time $$ to the betrayed spouse to make up for their loss in income. Posted via Mobile Device
Mr.rightaway you are very brave to write what you did and correct. Wives complain sooooo much now adays about their husbands. I am sooo sick of it. Men deserve so much more praise, respect and admiration from the women in their life than they are getting. They work and fight so long and hard for us women to have a comfortable and luxurious lifestyle. I am pro-man.
Your words are much appreciated, and perhaps too kind. Posting about this on an Internet forum alone doesn't make me brave. I'm not sure what more I can say on the subject as much has been written here. All of the men and women posting here at least have an interest in this incredibly complex issue and I would recommend reading the whole thread. I give credit to all the men posting here, and I must also give credit to IanIronWood for speaking up in the way he did earlier in the thread, as his points are particularly salient and well-researched.
Since a marriage forum exists in an Internet media format, I would recommend viewing this PBS piece that "showcases the evolution of men in primetime television." They touch on feminism and a lot of other things. Earlier in this thread we talked about the portrayal of men on television and I think this piece fits here, and the entire story arc of this thread, perfectly.
America in Primetime: Man of the House
As an educator, I work very hard in letting my boys be boys. They are not girls and I do not treat them as such. Ever wonder why teachers always complain about their male students? It's because they expect those boys to behave like girls! This is nonsense. Boys, more than girls, need to move and explore. I teach 5th grade. We do a lot of activity in this room. My boys and girls are engaged and it's very peaceful in here. The "problem" children (boys that other teachers said were "bad") are actually AWESOME kids!! They talk a lot, and move a lot but they are very well behaved and intelligent.
My girls are a bit more mature than my boys (shocker Lollll) and I give equal amount of attention to them in all subjects. They just don't need as much activity as my boys.
People can jump on me all they want about it, but it works and it's true. I've been doing this for 12 years. In this room, my kids learn and they aren't punished for being curious.
You are so great. I have watched many teachers literally mistreat boys for being boys. The boy is rowdy so what do they do, take away break and then complain about the boy's behavior for the rest of the day. Thank you for letting boys be boys.
You are so great. I have watched many teachers literally mistreat boys for being boys. The boy is rowdy so what do they do, take away break and then complain about the boy's behavior for the rest of the day. Thank you for letting boys be boys.
I know teachers who hold kids in at recess...I'm like, whaaat? LOL Let them go get their wiggles out! And let yourself get your sanity back. LOL I'm not saying they don't drive me crazy (my students), but they're 10. geez.
Sure, prostitution is a high risk job, granted. There are probably 100,000 full-time prostitutes in the US, according to the data I've seen. There are over 100,000 coal miners in Kentucky alone -- all male.
Where are you getting your figures because there are not 100,000 coal miners in KY. In 2009, there were less than 19000.
Re: Feminism.... 
LOL Let them go get their wiggles out! And let yourself get your sanity back. LOL I'm not saying they don't drive me crazy (my students), but they're 10. geez.
