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post #46 of 53 (permalink) Old 12-11-2016, 05:59 PM
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Re: Catholic/Religious guilt over sex

I went to a catholic school for the first four years and later attended CCD on Sundays. I always thought it was strange than anyone would follow the sex advice of avowed celibates like priests and nuns. I mean they know all about sex, right?


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post #47 of 53 (permalink) Old 12-12-2016, 08:57 PM
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Re: Catholic/Religious guilt over sex

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I went to a catholic school for the first four years and later attended CCD on Sundays. I always thought it was strange than anyone would follow the sex advice of avowed celibates like priests and nuns. I mean they know all about sex, right?
Yes and No.

Yes they have a bias/choice against having sex. So they can't speak from experience. I have heard that some are called later in life, after becoming a widow etc, but that is a small percentage that I will ignore. So I would treat their advice with a grain of salt, like a fat doctor advising me how to loose weight.

But No, everyone has a bias. All advice should be considered and checked for wisdom and common sense, even if biased. Prostitures probably have more 'action' than anyone, but I expect they are biased too.

So consider all advice, and consider possible bias, but don't follow anyone blindly.

"Life wasn't meant to be easy;
but take heart, parts of it can be delightful."
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post #48 of 53 (permalink) Old 12-13-2016, 07:13 AM
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Re: Catholic/Religious guilt over sex

I feel guilty about most things and I'm not even Catholic.

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post #49 of 53 (permalink) Old 12-13-2016, 07:56 PM
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Re: Catholic/Religious guilt over sex

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I feel guilty about most things and I'm not even Catholic.


You don't sound Jewish either. Jews and Catholics compete to see who is guiltiest.

"How many Jewish grandmothers does it take to change a light bulb?"

"That's ok.... I'll just sit here in the dark..."





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post #50 of 53 (permalink) Old 01-19-2017, 07:55 PM
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Re: Catholic/Religious guilt over sex

I am a christian but not a RC. God is all for good and enjoyable sex, but in marriage. There is a whole book in the bible about erotic sex (Song of songs).
The whole 'guilt' thing is very common in the RC faith, its not something that I am at all aware of in my faith or those I have known over the last 30 or so years.

What I have learnt is that sex in marriage is by far the best. To have sex with a man who is 100% committed to you and completely faithful is incredibly special.
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post #51 of 53 (permalink) Old 01-19-2017, 08:28 PM
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Re: Catholic/Religious guilt over sex

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I am a christian but not a RC. God is all for good and enjoyable sex, but in marriage. There is a whole book in the bible about erotic sex (Song of songs).
The whole 'guilt' thing is very common in the RC faith, its not something that I am at all aware of in my faith or those I have known over the last 30 or so years.

What I have learnt is that sex in marriage is by far the best. To have sex with a man who is 100% committed to you and completely faithful is incredibly special.
I agree with all of this, except as a man I would change 1 word. Finding that word is an exercise for the reader.

The "very common" should be emphasised. Not all RC are into the 'guilt' thing. I am told many have a much more balanced view, without guilt. Some even run very good pre-marriage sessions encouraging the enjoyment of sex.

And the Song of Songs reminds me that some Jews actually consider it R rated, not to be read by the young. Some give it as bed time reading for the honeymoon. So no guilt there either.

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but take heart, parts of it can be delightful."
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post #52 of 53 (permalink) Old 01-25-2017, 03:06 PM
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Re: Catholic/Religious guilt over sex

I was raised Catholic. 12 years of Catholic school. My parents didnt discuss sex much at all. Just dont get pregnant for my sister, and maybe dont get a girl pregnant for my brother and I. Other than that? Dont ever remember a conversation about it.

My wife is technically Catholic. She did some ccd type sh!t when she was younger and I believe was confirmed then stopped any sort of practice.

I however am the far more liberal one in regards to sex and have always been the one to push communication etc with regards to sex.

I dont think one NEEDS to be overly religious to have a parent that can f@ck you up regarding sex. It probably makes it more likely, but isnt required.

"Masturbate with just a slick hand and thoughts of your wife." --Intheory
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post #53 of 53 (permalink) Old 01-25-2017, 05:28 PM
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Re: Catholic/Religious guilt over sex

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My wife is catholic and was taught masturbation is a sin!
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My wife and I are both products of old school Western NY and Baltimore Catholicism. My parents in particular were conservative catholics, mass every Sunday, confession every month, went to the Latin mass whenever possible. Masturbation makes you go blind, no sex before marriage, anything other than man on top PIV was a perversion, etc.

We both had, and to some extent, still have issues around sexual repression. My wife still has issues with masturbating in front of me, and touching herself in general. She blames it on her catholic upbringing. I seem to have fewer issues than she does. We went to MC/Sex Therapy for a couple of years, and that helped a lot with the guilt and repression, but there are still some residual issues as previously stated.

Ironically enough, I had a girlfriend in college who was a total freak in the sack, loved anal, enjoyed bondage, group sex, exhibitionism, etc. She grew up Catholic in Baltimore and went to Archbishop Keough HS. She seemed to have no sexual repression issues whatsoever.
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As I wrote earlier I was raised as a catholic but not a very good one.There is a little loophole in the Catholic religion that doesn't get much attention.It is indulgences.Basically you can be forgiven any sin if you carry out certain acts.This could be attending mass on the first Friday of every month for a period of months or as simple as a financial contribution to the church.Certain popes just openly sold them and as the pope is considered infallible this was basically a pardon.Without trying to threadjack I would love to write about the problems I had with my parents deaths and their local church initially refusing to allow them to be buried together.
The Catholic Church is a business.
In business money rules.
Father forgive me for I have sinned. Pray for me.

OK, in high school I enjoyed slow dancing (aka dry humping) my favorite girlfriends every Friday night at the CYO dance in the basement of the church. They claimed to not really know what they were doing, but they were very good at what they did and they seemed to enjoy it as much as I did. I swear that CYO dances is where the phrase, "keep it in your pants" came from.

Even so, my wife, was also the product of a Catholic girls school education at a convent. At least she got to go home every night, unlike a few of the other girls. Her idea of sin was rolling up her plaid skirt an inch or two, although she did love to make out.

In Sex Therapy sessions after about 30 years of marriage and two children the Sex Therapist asked and my wife answers to the question of how often to you masturbate?" Never. For her it was a horrible sin and even thinking about it required confession in middle and high school every week until she learned to suppress such urges. Talking to a male priest about sexual urges was so incredibly embarassing for a teenage girl that she shut down her urges until her hormones broke free. She told the ST that she didn't need to masturbate as she had a husband if she felt those kinds of urges.

Another thing that we discussed before marriage was that the nuns had told her and the other girls that anything a husband and wife did after marriage was allowed. We discussed that allot while dating and prior to marriage. After marriage, my wife informed me that the nuns couldn't have possible meant what they said as they had no idea how perverted men could be and the kinds of things they would want.

Yes, we have two sexually positions that are allowed by my wife: missionary and cow girl. No doggy, no spooning, no oral (either way), no anal, no mutual masturbation, nothing "kinky." I do have to admit that my wife is quite skilled at the two positions she allows and for that I am grateful as she can really rock my world with them and curl my toes.

So, yes, I think that the Church did instill so horrible inhibitions in her. But it also gave me an honest woman, who values family and would never cheat on me.



Now to indulgences! In the year of Holly Mercy that just ended, I earned multiple indulgences by entering Holly Doors at some pilgrimage cathedrals. I dedicated some to dead relatives. It also felt good to be forgiven of all my past sins. My last confession was quite moving, as the priest really communicated with me and I felt so totally forgiven and cleansed. The church didn't make that much off of me as my only monetary donations were to the collection plate during Mass at the pilgrimage churches.
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