Neither I or anyone else in this discussion is saying "never judge people". That's would be absurd. I am saying don't judge people negatively for behavior that doesn't affect others. I don't care what people think, but I do care how they act - but only if those actions negatively affect others.
Ideally in society men and women are treated equally so a trans person really isn't asking to be treated differently (the original point of my first post).
If we consider men and women to be equal (as we should), then why not treat someone as whichever gender they prefer (to the extent that there is any difference in treatment).
If you want a discussion on people who wish to be treated as a different age from their own age, that is a fine discussion, but it is a different discussion. It has nothing to do with being trans. If you start a thread, I'll join. Similarly for someone who wants to abandon their humanity and become an animal. Its a different topic.
But what are we really disagreeing on? Who cares if someone wears pants or a dress? Is this really about bathrooms / locker rooms? Honestly I'm not really happy seeing other guys D###s, and don't tend to look at them. If I'm not looking, why should I care whether or not they have one? Why should a woman care if she notices that someone in the locker room as a D##k? I doubt anyone can grow up these days without having seen a picture of one at some point.
What about my concepts doesn't hold up? I want people to be free to behave in ways that don't harm others. I do not want people to be free to behave in ways that do harm others. I am willing to make some allowances for comfort, but I reject the idea that trans-gender men are offensive in the same way that I reject the idea that women who are not wearing nijabs are offensive
You are conflating equality before the law with sameness. Just because people are equal in the eyes of the law doesn't mean they will be, or even should be treated the same by each other. Men and women aren't the same, so expecting them to treat each other the same just seems strange. And this is demonstrably true, to the point I don't even know why it is up for discussion.
Whether you want to admit it or not, the transgender interaction in public, and how we require people to react to it affects others than those afflicted. The argument for transgenders is not that they should be able to do what they want at home. It is that all of us must accommodate them and their delusion, and pretend they are truthful and right. By saying we should do so, you are directly arguing that we teach children there is nothing wrong with it. That's a far cry from tolerance. That's affirmation. That's participation.
If we were only talking about tolerance, this wouldn't be a discussion. They are tolerated. They are free to do as they please at home without interference legally. They already have those "rights" everyone is carrying on about. What you are arguing for is far more than tolerance, it is acceptance. It is not enough to say "they're wrong, but we will leave them alone" but rather, you are arguing, whether you realize it or not, for enforcement of a value system that states that they are indeed right--when they are objectively wrong.
Welcome to 1984. Where black is white, and the chocolate ration has been increased from 25 grams to 20 grams.
What doesn't hold up is that you pretend people are an island, in order to condone the behavior, meanwhile acknowledging that we are not islands, by demanding that we treat them as if they are [insert category of choice]. It's obvious that you recognize this on some level--even if unconsciously-- by your unwillingness to engage in the trans-age / trans species issues, which are directly related to, and a sub-sect of the greater transfolk movement.
If we must legally treat someone the way they "feel" then a 60 year old that feels like a 12 year old must be treated as such. Which complicates things if that 60 year old engages in what would generally be considered illicit behavior with another 12 year old. Further, do we say that the trans 12 year old can't legally sign a contract? Should they be put up for foster care? Should we enforce truancy laws on them?
Similar questions abound for transgender or transracial people. If they must be accommodated and affirmed, do they get scholarships for being "women" or [insert minority]. Do we need to let transwomen compete with real women in women's sports?
These aren't merely theoretical, these are real issues, with real life consequences. By not accommodating them, we don't harm them. By accommodating them, we don't help them, but we certainly do put the impressionable youth at risk for falling victim to the belief that mutilating their bodies will somehow make them feel good.