But I did go to confession yesterday.
You're hitting on a sensitive subject above. What it sounds like you're talking about is a "personal relationship" with God. I'm all for that through prayer, repentance and supplications. Am I there? Heck no! But I did go to confession yesterday.
I'm not sure how much I feel comfortable with the "personal relationship" teachings that evangelicals talk about in their books and radio shows. I was a Born Again Christian for many years and I certainly believe in salvation through Jesus Christ. But these days I would like to think I rely on the churches teachings and how the church (Roman Catholic Church), interprets scripture. There simply is just too much room for error through one's own interpretation of scripture.
And who is to say that the Holy Spirit is speaking to someone? I have met a lot of nutty people years ago thinking they were "called of God" to get into ministry. I look back and I just shrug my head wondering how I could have ever taken them seriously. Back then I tried to suppress my feelings thinking I was "judging them."
Today I realize it was just my intelligence and maybe even a bit of discernment. And yes, discernment is one of the gifts spoken about in scripture, which I am sure you know.
But you asked me about praying and asking God for his guidance. I'm just going to be honest here. And here it goes. I think, sometimes, that I am to sacrifice my sexual happiness for the well being of my child and stay in the marriage. I am to go without sex as a sacrifice. I also wonder, if I am to suffer being celibate in marriage as a way of paying off my time in purgatory for my many years in sexual sin as a single and even when married.
Do I went to do that? No. I want to be married to a beautiful woman and have sex every night. Now I don't know if you agree with what I wrote in the paragraph above or not. But you see how tricky things can get when we rely on God speaking to us personally? Whose to say it's God?
Congratulations! Did you take advantage of having the Eucharist? Did you offer that communion for your needs in your marriage and what is needed from God to repair it? If you didn't, well you can always attend mass any other day and pray for all those needs of yours. If by contrast, you only confessed but you have not gone through the sacrament of communion, then I'm afraid you can't enjoy the Lord's supper yet. You must fulfill that sacrament first. Go for it, it's worth it!
"I'm all for that through prayer
, repentance and supplications."
Well, what is prayer to the Lord? When I was a kid in second grade, my parents made sure I attended classes to be ready for communion by Easter. I learned all the prayers needed for confession as well as mass in catechism. I also learned a couple of songs, hymns and bible stories at Sunday school. One thing that I never will forget about those days was what a sweet nun told me. She said the best prayer that pleases God is the one that is done in my own words (in other words a conversation with your Lord and Savior). There simply is just too much room for error through one's own interpretation of scripture.
Wise thinking brother. That is why a spiritual guide is needed. Sometimes more than one. if I am to suffer being celibate in marriage as a way of paying off my time in purgatory for my many years in sexual sin as a single and even when married.
Now this statement still shocks me because it couldn't be more wrong. I have no idea who put that thought process in your head or why. There are a lot of bad people in the church. Those people are greedy pigs that will enjoy keeping you ignorant of the new covenant God made to this world. Overcome those fears or whatever else is blocking your way to quenching that thirst you have to getting to know God at a very personal level (in your case, helping you get what you need out of marriage). He is not the same God that he was in the old testament. He has changed and he has never left after Christ came to intercede for us.
You can find everything you need within the Catholic church if that is the venue you wish to go. It has many sub groups within itself. Each of these sub groups practices the Catholic faith very differently, but all of them are part of the same church and are indeed just as valid. Try different prayer groups in the different sub groups that are lead most of the time by priests or other high officials of the church. If any of them are not a good fit and you can't get the spiritual guidance you need, keep seeking and you will find. thirst will be quenched. God will give you what you need, but you will probably not get what you want. Big difference there, but God has your back and your best interest at heart. Do I went to do that? No. I want to be married to a beautiful woman and have sex every night.
This made me smile, yet I know I don't possess the answer to that, only God does. You will know when you were in the presence of God and when you weren't. The sense of peace you will experience is priceless and like no other ( if it wasn't the Lord's presence you were in, a stirring in you will make you feel uneasy like something is quite wrong). By contrast, you will also at times feel unrest. That unrest may be due to guilt, shame, or any other emotion that moves us to repent and seek true forgiveness. The Holy Spirit that dwells within us causes this stir when we are doing wrong in God's eyes. The process of healing that unrest is very quick though. The Holy Spirit is your ultimate counselor in any needs you may have. If you are not going to get what you want, He will tell you very clearly. If you are going to get what you need, it will also be very clear. At times, His truth was not received well by me and I couldn't understand it because I was not prepared at the time to receive it. That is where discernment comes. If you don't have that gift, you may wish to request it in prayer along with acceptance and patience as well as others you may want to have. All we need to do is ask and we will receive in abundance what we NEED.