Ok, shy Guy, I want your view then, you seem like a more tolerant Christian who is striving to live rightly... this is probably what I was hoping to find there ... but sadly did not.
What are your views about Pre-marital sex ?? DO you feel every man & women should strive to be a virgin until their wedding day, how far can they go with their hands ... and still feel like they are living and honoring GOD? Noone goes here, noone asks these questions, it is NOTHING or you have sinned.. (LUSTED).... repent. Isn't there some middle ground ??
This is what I wanted from that forum but they JUMPED me and threw me in the fire !
You're really going to put me on the spot, aren't you
NP. Yes, that's an honest question. I'll give the best answer I can.
First, I'm going to disagree with what most Christians think about when someone gets married. A wedding is a tradition we have today, but there is nothing in the Bible that requires the type of wedding we are familiar with today. As a matter of fact, big wedding celebrations in many periods and times were something only the rich did. In poorer families, it was an arrangement made between two families, and as soon as the deal was done, they were married. I'm sure that's nobody romantic idea, though
The best I can understand, a couple is considered married when they have met the legal requirements wherever they live. In a lot of places over the years, the tradition of the wedding, witnesses, etc. has become a legal canonization of a tradition.
In regards to what is allowed: Most Christians believe that sex is reserved to be strictly between husband and wife. This is how I have taught it in our house as well. This was part of the law in the old testament, and the tradition was brought forward. This was also part of the picture of the wedding in heaven and the Bride (being the Church) in Revelation. That makes an interesting illustration.
So far as "How far can I go?" I don't usually think of it that way, but rather, "What should I be doing?" I think a couple should be able to court, and some physical contact is expected during that time. I would fully expect a couple in courtship to kiss, for example. I think most Christians will agree with this. When it comes to touching or fondling, then I think they are most times doing this to lead to sex, or to see how close they can get before sinning, and I think in two people who are full or hormones with a perfect opportunity, that leads to intercourse. I think if they don't want that to happen, they they need to stay away from that temptation. I think most Christians will agree with me in that as well. Some will be a little more focused on setting up the rules and boundaries, but I'd rather stay with the principle. So if we get into "How far up her leg can his hand go?" I don't really have a generally applicable answer because I don't see that as the objective of any guidelines.
On lust, the only thing I can think of that deals specifically with this was when Jesus was getting after the Pharisees and religious leaders of his day on their legalism and he chided them because they believed where it was written "You shall not committ adultery," but apparently thought nothing of looking lustfully after a woman. He told them they had already committed adultery in their hearts. I think the point here was that they were looking for a way to call themselves righteous before God, and Jesus was pointing out that regardless of what they thought, they could not present themselves as righteous before God on their own merits. I think some Christians will agree with me here, and some will debate with me on whether or not that was the real meaning behind Jesus' words.
It seems to me that from beginning to end, family is very important in the Bible. It was supposed to be a team for support in every form from physical sustenance to emotional support. There are a lot of laws given around family, and some of them may be shocking, but it was to make sure that the family members were supported. I think this is the basis for teaching about the family. Obviously, I think God invented sex (as my mother always said) and that He thinks it was a good idea. Husbands and wives are never forbidden to have full sexual expression anywhere in the Bible.
Did that answer the question? If not, then tell me where I'm not answering it, and I'll try it again