I am only 20, have high hopes for my future yet I am being forced into a marriage I do not want by my family. I live in the UK and always thought I would have a career before I made any commitements and now I realise I don't have a choice. I need guidance, I need advice. How do I get out of this situation, my whole family is turning their back on me by forcing me into this.
You are awfully young to be getting married, and I think it's wonderful you want to finish your education first - it's important to know you can rely on yourself!
Can you please explain how you are being forced? Do you know your husband-to-be? What will happen if you refuse? Posted via Mobile Device
@Almostrecovered culturally but this is something I never saw as part of my culture and not something I want.
@YinPrincess I really do not know, I would love to finish my education first. I'm so confused. Why is it that I am being forced against my will to something I never asked for. Surely this is against my own human rights??
yes it is aginst human rights i believe.
if it not even part of your culture, then why?
just refuse and stand your ground.
i think that is just ridiculous.
@2ndt!meizbest Then I am regarded as bringing "shame upon my community". I am supposed to accept this marriage in honour of my traditions and culture, according to my family. But I am from a different generation, I do not want this. To me it is a forced marriage but to them it is the norm. What would you do? I need help on how to get out of this, I am only 20!!
@Almostrecovered Yes, I am Asian and my parents keep telling me they know what is best for me and it is the right thing to do. So what do I say to that? They are my closest.
Yes, I will be disowned, can there be any good in this? I don't have a choice yet all I am doing is thinking about it all.
@2ndt!meizbest but can't you see why my parents would want to do this for me? From their point of view, how it may work out the best for my future?
yes, i see your point about family.
i DO NOT see their point of view.
i dont agree with that in the least.
your parents wont be with you for ever, you will be.
are they going to make everything ok if it doesnt work out? NO, they can not.i dont care who it was for, if i was you and you dont want to do it, i would not.
there is nothing you can say or any one else can say that will make me change my view of arranged marriages.
@2ndt!meizbest I appreciate that because I too can relate to how you feel about the issue. You referred to 'arranged marriages' in your reply to me. I'm being pushed into a 'forced marriage', they are two seperate forms of marriage, can't you see the difference?
@2ndt!meizbest I appreciate that because I too can relate to how you feel about the issue. You referred to 'arranged marriages' in your reply to me. I'm being pushed into a 'forced marriage', they are two seperate forms of marriage, can't you see the difference?
you may have a different definition than i but i dont agree with either.
i dont agree with parents arranging marriages for their young children and i dont agree with parents 'forcing' marriage on a 20 year old.
the difference here is that you are 20.
you have your own mind.
you are old enough to make your own decisions.
the only way it is a forced marriage is if you allow it to be in which case, it is no longer forced. you allowed it.
dont let them manipulate you into something that should be beautiful but ends up being something solely for their selfish benefit.
@2ndt!meizbest I see your point, why then do you think such acts are still around in today's society. None of my friends have had to deal with this and I just seem to be the exception. It's like I'm miss independent one day yet sprung up on with something like this and feeling like I'm a caged animal. Is the country even aware that such acts are going on? It's like nobody can stop what my parents have planned, I have no courage to even try and change their minds because they are so set in their ways. They are left to their own devices, to do as they wish - despite whether it is breaching my human rights or not.
can i ask why you came here and asked for opinions on this when it sounds like you have already made up your mind to allow your parents to treat you like a possession and not like a human being with her own mind and desires?
3Likes
Forced Marriage CONCERN!!! 
