I wonder if anyone has any suggestions for how to cope in a relationship when you hold completely opposed views on some things that are important to you. I'm sorry, I don't want to discuss exactly what we're opposed to each other on, and I know we should just be able to accept each other's views & get on with life. But I just find myself getting SO frustrated - why can't he see things the way I do?
Not everyone sees things the exact same. However it is important how each thing affects the other. If you are a republican and he is a democrat then I would say it is a moot point because it isn't a big deal.
However, if you believed that eating meat was bad and he loves steak and you through out any meat in the house because you didn't believe in it it would effect him.
You have to learn to rejoice in the differences, and agree to just accept them between you. He is probably thinking exactly the same about why you won't see things HIS way.
In 30 odd years my hubby and I have failed to agree on any number of things. Sometimes we go with my opinion and sometimes with his, and sometimes we sit on opposite sides of the fence and sulk!
We even disagree on football teams to such an extent that if his team loses to mine, he'll sulk and not talk to me for days! (bonus! )
Whether your disagreement is over something trivial like that or something more fundamental, like an issue with a child, or religion, you have to weigh up the consequences of insisting on your point of view over his, and whether the pain and trouble is worth it. If you think it is, then perhaps not trying SO hard to convince him, might slowly bring him round. Quietly highlighting the advantages of your viewpoint might work..
I find that some ways to get my hubby to do something I want, and he may not, is to either try and make it look like it was his idea, or be violently against it, so that he takes the opposing view just to be contrary....
It's kind of funny about this post for me. Me and my finac'e have our web site up that we discuss day to day things that men and women view diffrently. It realy amazes me how many things there are that women and men see diffrently. We have alot of fun doing this and are learning more and more each day about each other. Main thing is we keep it funny so no feelings are hurt. Has been a great tool for us and I think we will end up knowing each other so much better by time we get married by doing this.
well depending on what the "view is" it's hard for us to give a fair opinion on the matter.
Now for me politically, I have no care in the world for how my wife will vote in the up comming election. I don't want to infulence her vote, nor do I care to hear how she will vote or whom she will vote for.
That is her decision and it's private, some things should be kept to ourselves and should not interfere with our relationships.
I remember dating a fellow a few years ago... He was Muslim, and I grew up a completely different faith. He told me if we got married, we WOULD send the kids to Muslim school/training.
I told him that would NOT work, because it isn't fair.
I told him the only way it would work, is if the child got taught what BOTH of us believed, and why. (But of course, not with the pressure of one or both parents saying the other's views are WRONG...Just simply what each believes, and why.)
well my hubby and i are total opposites, he hates what i like and vice versa. cant believe we lasted this long.
but im afraid grinning and bearing usually are the way. however im more tolerant then he is.
but you just have to try and push yourself.
My husband and I are opposites on many things, politics as well as I'm vegetarian and he is a meat eater. As for the politics, we usually just agree to disagree, and when it comes to meals, our family does eat many vegetarian meals, however I will fix meat for them.
As someone said you just have to learn to compromise, otherwise you get locked in and neither wants to budge and that is when issues can get really heated, trust me, I know!